It seems that in managing life there is nothing more important than formulating principles and following them. But not everything is so obvious. The topic of a tough life position causes a lot of controversy. Some compare the iron principles with a magnet that attracts the shackles. Others call them an internal compass, without which it is impossible to survive. And yet - how to describe for yourself the main principle of life? When exactly to follow the internal code, and when to give. Which is more preferable: principled or flexibility?
The article tells about what questions and techniques to use to make a list of personal laws, when to reformat them and correctly use the rules of celebrities in their own lives.
What is the principle
The principle is the fundamental principle on which scientific theories, laws, rules of conduct, moral code, life commandments are erected. Etymologically derived from the Greek "principium"that translates as "the first“That is, a principle is a rule that is“ primary ”and does not need further substantiation. This complex concept is used in exact and natural sciences, military science, law, and religion.
In philosophy, ethics, psychology and the science of life management, the notion of life or moral principle is popular - fundamental psychologically significant position of a person. The one who always and in everything is faithful to his convictions, with the help of a personal code, guides actions, interacts with those around him is called principled. Lack of convictions, disregard for moral norms, non-compliance with the boundaries of good and evil, disrespect for spiritual laws are signs of an unprincipled personality.
In ancient Rome, first-line legionnaires with shields and powerful spears were called principles. Break through such a serious defense was difficult. Perhaps, the well-known expression “to go to the principle” has gone from here - to be obstinate, bend your line, no matter what. In Russian, the word passed in the time of Peter the Great from the German language, but until the middle of the XIX century it was rarely used.
Two opinions on principles
Principle in itself does not exist, it is a reflection of internal qualities and beliefs. Principle is manifested in relation to someone or something from the position of the owner and always goes in conjunction with the life credo, pronounced traits of character, readiness or unwillingness to change depending on the circumstances.
Typically, principles are attributed to positive traits. But the existence of strict rules still does not speak about the high moral qualities of a person.. On the contrary, often principled - no more than a convenient mask, behind which hides the lack of flexibility, the fear of failure - in case of failure, you can refer to the internal installation. So the characteristic is not always a compliment. More often it is a signal of danger: when a decision needs to be made, the brain does not work, but turns on the autopilot.
One can imagine that the principle is a reflex fixed at the unconscious level. Therefore, a person with rigid internal rules is a good soldier who is comfortable to control. A thinking person makes a decision on the circumstances, and the principal acts on the written script. Sometimes, even realizing that his internal installations are outdated and have lost their logic.
But the psyche develops internal laws for a reason, because without them, life will turn into chaos. This is a hard mattress on which it is hard to sleep, but it forms a healthy spine. They created to help the man himself. For example, the rules not to borrow, not to trust the first comer, to communicate with others respectfully, regardless of the first impression, help save relationships, and sometimes - life.
So principled - an internal choice. Uncompromising at the same time sets the framework and limits, helps to act automatically, but it deprives flexibility, expresses the internal position, but makes it difficult to communicate with people.
How to formulate your life principles
Personal laws exist, whether we are aware of them or not. And life becomes easier if still aware.
Principles: general and individual
General principles reflect the laws that theoretically work for most. They are usually known by many, but not all use:
- Without difficulty, do not catch fish from the pond.
- There are no big things without great difficulties.
- Do as you wish with others to do to you.
- Give more than you get.
- Everything done / conceived comes back.
- Promised - do it.
- Be true to yourself.
Individual principles are most effective and valuable, because each formulates them for himself. How to express the rules of life to help them live?
Personal principles are effective if they:
- Formulated by you personally. This is the result of education and internal work on yourself. The principles that a person has found and defined independently influence the life most clearly.
- Working. That is, those that are effective in practice. And on your personal practice.
- Customized. Others rules can be not only useless, but risky. This is like a blood transfusion, not suitable for Rhesus.
- Flexible. The rigid structure is characteristic for stones, minerals. All living things are changing. Susceptibility to new concepts, conditions, beliefs, itself helps to rebuild thinking and find a new "I".
- Balanced. Excessive extremes lead to devastating consequences for relationships and one’s own psyche. Therefore, the concepts of "good-and-bad", "truth-and-reality", "assumptions-and-objectivity", "mistakes-and-perfection" should be included in your life rules.
- Topical. Remember how long ago you were reviewing the internal installation? How significant are they when they are wound up, what are they protecting? Sometimes principles are the frozen experience of past failures, by which we defend ourselves against new defeats.
Solving a similar puzzle, you get a prize in the form of a personal principle that can be followed to live a full life.
12 questions to help you understand your inner rules
If you cannot formulate general rules right away, try to answer 12 questions for yourself. A properly asked question contains half the answer. Properly asked questions will help you determine your own principles:
- What did I want to be in childhood?
- What did you dream of at the age of 17? What has come of it?
- Why did you learn this particular profession?
- What do I like to do at work, in life?
- What are you proud of and sorry about?
- In what situations do I feel fulfilled, satisfied?
- What questions often ask yourself?
- What motivates me / demotivates?
- In what circumstances do the best ideas come to mind?
- How do I choose friends?
- What situations are repeated most often?
- What will I never do? (for actions contrary to your internal settings).
Allocate enough time for answers and think about it well. Then you can see yourself and your life from a different perspective.
7 steps to align life principles with inner values
Life principles that coincide with inner values are a powerful driving force. But each has his own values. We have collected self-development coaches' advice and psychologists in instructions that will help determine what is really valuable to you.
- Clear space for your thoughts: turn off the phone, TV, try to relax, do not think about current problems.
- Write down the moments of the greatest joy and the deepest sadness: remember what they felt in those moments and why they were the ones who remembered.
- View common human values: physical well-being, health, warmth in relationships, empathy, freedom of choice, humor, joy.
- Choose the most important from the previous list and add your own: make sure that the list is perfectly tailored and responds in the shower.
- Think about how your values are realized in life: they are most pronounced only when making decisions.
- Divide the internal rules into three categories: basic, controversial, and additional. Give yourself time to think it over again.
- Remember that this list can always be corrected, because change is the only constant in our life.
What are principles, everyone decides for himself. But formulating them for yourself is only half the battle. Let them penetrate your consciousness. But the main thing is to act without delay in accordance with your inner values.
Four non-dull practices to define life principles
For all practices, you will need a pen, a notebook, time and desire.
Technique 1. Three stories
Describe your life in three formats:
- One sentence.
- One paragraph is serious, as if talking about yourself to an important employer.
- One paragraph jokingly, as if you were a company of new friends.
When you talk about yourself, you see life as a book with vivid illustrations. When you start to reduce, all unimportant evaporates, but in the end remains the most important thing.
Technique 2. Wishlist
- Note on the timer 20 minutes and write down a list of all the desires that you remember.
- Make another list of five to seven keywords that are most relevant to you. Relax, do not try to analyze or make an impression. Write what responds in the shower.
- Write in front of each question one of the keywords as you think is most appropriate.
- Count how many times each word occurs, write them down in descending order.
These words will become reference points on which you can rely in later life and decision making.
Technique 3. Chef and cook
- Imagine the situation - you work in a restaurant. Is it more comfortable for you to be a chef or a cook?
- Work and think on the principle of the chief is difficult. Using a limited set of facts (products), you need to instantly make decisions (come up with an original recipe), draw conclusions. Success comes only after a lot of trial and error.
- Thinking like a cook is much easier. The cook cooks according to the recipe, repeats what they did before him.
The chef and the cook are in opposite spectra of thinking. If you are comfortable using ready-made options, do not write the first item in the list of principles "responsibility" or "risk." If you are accustomed to make decisions without looking at anyone, the first lines on your list will be “success,” “confidence,” “perseverance,” “opportunities.
Technique 4. Learn the life principles of your idols
People who delight us help us grow. But there is a fine line between following and mindless copying. Choose a celebrity who inspires, learn her life rules and adapt them for yourself.
The life credo is important to formulate not only for yourself, but also for a potential employer. Future managers want to see in the resume, what the employee is guided in life and at work. Therefore, the item on personal rules is considered mandatory. But the summary welcomes beliefs that echo the specifics of the work. Usually these are universal principles of organization, cooperativity, initiative, hard work.
findings
- Life principles are a set of instructions for all occasions or a protective fence of a person’s worldview.
- A principled person is one for whom following one’s own principles is an end in itself.
- Sometimes principles can replace one’s own conscience.
- The harder the principle, the more it inhibits the development of personality.
- The internal code does not give rigid instructions, but helps to act flexibly.
