Friendship - an important aspect of most people's lives. Friends support each other, have fun together, create joint projects, share experiences.
But not a single friendship, even the strongest, can not do without quarrels. Therefore, the knowledge that how to make peace with a friendif a scandal occurred, it can be useful to almost any woman.
Why do people stop being friends?
There are many reasons for quarrels leading to the cessation of companionship, and it is quite difficult to systematize them all.
The main reasons for the appearance of scandals between friends:
- Differences in views. The most common reason for a break in communication is any friendships. This can include almost any topic, from quarrels about what you need to wear green shoes, to more global problems, including ideological and political differences, differences in outlook on life and other sensitive topics (for example, attitudes towards veganism, vaccinations, abortions, religion and so on). Moreover, these disagreements can arise at any moment of communication, even if the friendship lasts ten years and the friends believe that they know everything about each other.
- Excessive touchiness of one of her friends. Some girls have a heightened sensitivity, so they can be offended by any careless remark or joke, even if the interlocutor did not set herself the goal of offending and counted on another reaction.
- Jealousy girlfriend to partner, another girlfriend or company of friends. A sensitive girl with low self-esteem can be upset if her friend began to spend more time with someone else, and begin to worry that she is not interested. On this basis conflicts may arise related to friendly jealousy.
By the way, jealousy may arise not because of low self-esteem, but because of the girlishness and possessiveness of a girl who believes that a friend should spend time only with her.
- The difficulties associated with romantic relationships. A lot of love stories have been written on this subject, a large number of films and books have been shot. This group includes situations when two girlfriends fall in love with the same person, and when one of them manages to get his attention, the other can get offended and upset. It is also possible that a partner of one friend leaves her for another, and this inevitably ends in a serious quarrel.
- Household aspects. Household scandals may arise among girls who rent an apartment together or often spend time with each other at a party. Household aspects include situations where one of the girls does not fulfill the obligations imposed on her: she does not wash the floor or dishes, does not go to the store for shopping, does not help with cooking, and so on, and the other girl is forced to do it for her. Also, scandals can occur due to absent-mindedness or unpleasant habits of one of her friends.
- Envy girlfriend or excessive boastfulness other. For some people, the success of a loved one is a cause for scandals, resentment and a break in communication. Also, some of the people who have achieved success tend to brag a lot about this, praising themselves, which friends may also not like. After all, who wants to receive, instead of full communication, endless laudatory monologues and inappropriate advice?
- Communication for one of her friends becomes unprofitable. Friendship is often mutually beneficial in one way or another, and if one or both friends lose their benefits, their communication either falls apart or goes to another level. Benefit can mean anything: for example, financial viability and the popularity of a friend who helps another girl to be the center of attention too. If a friend goes wrong and she loses finances, her environment can give up on her hand.
Each of these causes can lead to fatal scandalafter which the communication will be interrupted. Later it can resume, but only if the girls want to make peace, find a compromise, a new meaning in communication.
There are also situations where everything seems to be fine, there were no scandals, but the girlfriend ignores, communicates, as if through clenched teeth, looking for reasons to cancel the next meeting.
Often this is due to something third-party: for example, someone told her a lie about a friend (that she is gossiping behind her back, throwing mud at her, or is behaving inappropriately).
Or suddenly some unpleasant truth has surfaced, which has become the cause of apparent disregard. In such cases, it is important to carefully ask the girlfriend about what happened, and on the basis of the information received to draw conclusions.
About the things that spoil the friendship in this video:
If friends stopped communicating without a reason
In some cases, friendly communication between girls stops by itself, without quarrels, scandals, unexpectedly emerging negative and other moments.
This can happen in the following cases:
- one of the girlfriends or both have changed and realized that they do not need to continue communication;
- a friend has new priorities (for example, family, children, work);
- the girlfriend went to another city (country), and communication on the Internet for some reason is not enough to comfortably maintain friendship;
- a friend has a new social circle, which she likes more.
In such cases, it is somewhat more difficult to restore the previous communication than after a quarrel, at least because it requires a friend began to see something important to herself again.
To do this, you may need to review your own priorities, look at yourself critically and try to change something.
Separate reason for the termination of communication - appearance of a child.
The baby requires a huge investment of time and effort, and the father is not always ready to invest, so the previously active and sociable woman is removed from society, and her childless friends, who don’t represent the wrong side of motherhood, can decide that she no longer wants to communicate with them.
Is there a female friendship? The psychologist comments:
How to reconcile, if I am guilty?
If the cause of the quarrel is not too serious, you can come to reconciliation very quickly: it is enough to talk with a friend, admit one’s guilt, ask for forgiveness and, if necessary, kindly discuss the situation in order to find a compromise. After all, it is important not only to reconcile, but also to prevent new quarrels.
But sometimes a quarrel is weighty, so the guilty girlfriend is looking for ways to apologize so that her apologies are definitely accepted.
Thoughtful, beautiful apology allows you to make amends and leave pleasant memories.
Options for a beautiful apology:
- Present. If women know each other well, finding the right one is easy. Surely the offended girlfriend has a little desire that can be fully realized.
- Creatively played apology. This may be a poem, a story connected with an apology and dedicated to a friend, a video clip or a collage with photos where the girls are together and happy, a drawing. There are lots of options, just turn on the imagination.
If the offense is very strong, with a gift and a creative apology, it is better to wait. Over time, anger, resentment and irritation will weaken, and then you can try to ask for forgiveness.
How to make peace with your best friend? Trouble free method:
How to apologize to my friend in VK?
Social networks, including Vkontakte, are good because they are easier to express. You do not need to look for a way to meet (besides, it is not always possible), mumble, listening to your own voice losing the excitement, but just think over everything and express yourself. Also in the chat you can realize that hard to do in reality.
Options for apologies in social networks by correspondence:
- Creative excuses work on the Internet. You can send a poem of your own composition, a scanned or quality-photographed picture, a video clip, a collage, and much more into your private messages. You can also make a public apology: create a post on the wall (be sure to put a link in the name so that the friend received a notification) and add everything you want: an apology text, a poem suitable for you and much more.
- Detailed and sincere apology. The text of the apology must be thought out, and it does not have to contain only requests to forgive. There you can write your opinion on how to avoid quarrels in the future, tell you how dear you are with a friend, offer to do something together as a reconciliation. It is better not to use a prepared apology from the Internet containing a ton of stamped expressions if you want to show that you really value friendship.
These options will not work if a friend adds you into a black listand there are no other ways to contact her.
If this is the case, then the only possible option is to wait until it removes you from there. But, if she is very offended, this may not happen.
Universal apologies to a friend in verse and in your own words.
What can you say to her?
Find a universal apology is impossible. Apologizing girl should take into account the causes of scandal, the personal characteristics of a friend, the degree of her resentment and much more.
Tips to help you find an apology:
- Simple excuse. Sometimes a short “Sorry for me, please” is enough for reconciliation, especially if the conflict is not too serious, and the girlfriend is willing to put up.
- Tell us how you felt after a quarrel. You can tell how much you have missed it for the last time, how you missed her and worried about what happened. Say that you feel shame and repent.
- Remind your friend about how many wonderful things bind you and how much she means. Remember what you have achieved together, how she helped in difficult situations, how much fun you had together.
- Do not make excuses. Attempts to justify your own words and behavior in a quarrel are unlikely to lead you to reconciliation. Also, you should not directly or indirectly blame the girlfriend for what happened. Admit your guilt and try to find a suitable compromise later.
Think before you talk how you apologize and what you say to make it sound the most warm.
If a friend is very offended and does not want to communicate, it is better to wait for a while: perhaps later she will feel better and will be ready to accept an apology.
Quarreled with a friendI want to make peace, but I do not know how. About how to make peace with him and come to a compromise, in this video:
Can I get a girlfriend to come first?
If a girlfriend she started a quarrel and left you offended, important:
- try to calm down;
- do something nice, take a break;
- do not rush to hasty conclusions;
- Don't blacken a girlfriend in front of other people.
When resentment and pain subside, you should turn on your mind to think about what happened and remember how the girlfriend behaved before the quarrel and during it.
Perhaps there is no reason to re-establish communication with her, and the best option would be to erase her from life.
Communicate with unpleasant people, tolerate insults from them and consider them friends. not the best choice.
If friendship is still dear to you, you can try to overpower yourself and talk to your friend about what happened.
You can also wait for her to apologize herself, but it may never happen: some people are too proud to admit their mistakes. If a friend means a lot to you, it is better to take the first step.
Dialogue options with a friend:
- Frankly talk. Try to explain to your friend that the conflict situation that occurred between you is not worth losing close people because of her. Remind her that you still consider her a dear and important person.
- Find a compromise. Discuss with her the situation, listen to her suggestions on how to resolve the conflict situation and suggest your own. This is a rational and competent approach that will preserve communication and prevent new quarrels.
- Try to joke. This option is not suitable for all girls and almost useless if the quarrel was serious. But, if your girlfriend is a cheerful person, you can try to approach her and say something like “Well, and when will you apologize?” With a funny note in your voice. You can also play a funny little scene or come up with something else that fits the situation.
Perhaps the dialogue will encourage a friend to apologize and explain about what happened.
How to reconcile friends?
If two friends or two friends lie down between them, you can sympathize with their mutual friend: he will know all the details of the conflict and will certainly not feel too good when he realizes that choosing a side in him will mean a loss of communication with one of her friends (with one of her friends).
But there is a solution: you can try to bring them to reconciliation:
- Talk to each of them separately. Try to convince them that they need to meet and talk. Tell your vision of the conflict, but do not stand on any side, and offer a few compromise options. Perhaps these conversations will allow them to look at the situation in a different way and make peace.
- If none of them is ready to discuss the conflict alone with another, you can try to get together and discuss the situation together. Tell them that it is unpleasant for you to see their quarrel, remind them how they valued joint communication before, before the conflict.
Try to prevent re-scandal in your presence.
Ask clarifying questions (“Why do you think she is ...”, “What would you do in her place?”), Offer compromise options (“Why don't you try ...”, “And you didn’t think about ... "), and you may be able to reconcile them. During the dialogue, try to stay calm.
Ways to start communicating after a serious conflict
How to apologize to my girlfriend if I am very nasty? Every person there are pain points, and if you press them during an argument, you can lose communication. It is very difficult to extinguish the offense that has remained after such a situation, and attempts to reconcile may be useless.
Reconciliation Tips:
- if the usual attempts to reconcile did not lead to anything, and the girlfriend is really dear to you, have patience and wait. Let it make sense of the situation and cool down a bit;
- remind her from time to time that she is still on the road: give presents, try to sometimes exchange a few words with her;
- later, when she looks more relaxed, you can try to ask if she wants to continue communication if not in a friendly, then at least in a friendly manner.
Be prepared for what she will want to cross you out of your lifeif the conflict was really serious.
In this case, the best option would be to try to come to terms with it and not impose your society.
But the best option is do not quarrel at all. So that quarrels do not overshadow friendly communication, it is important to discuss with your friend all the difficult moments that can develop into a conflict, ask her what is painful or unacceptable for her, and bypass such topics in the dialogues.
This does not exclude the likelihood of scandals, but significantly reduce it.