Feminine flair rarely fails. If there are already suspicions about the infidelity of the spouse inside, it is possible that a “third-not-redundant” indeed appeared in the couple. However, we can not say for sure, not having on hand 100% of the evidence. How to find out if a husband is cheating for sure? What suspicious signs can be trusted, and which may well be a misunderstanding?
Controversial signs of adultery
Change of appearance
Yes, he can really begin to shave more often, change the style of clothes, get carried away by updating his wardrobe for his mistress. Or not. But you never know because of what a man can decide to reconsider their tastes and attitudes to appearance?
- I wanted to.
- There was a competitor.
- Toughened requirements for dress code at work.
- Neighbour's grandmother praised the new T-shirt, etc.
If a betrayal has already occurred, then according to the logic of events a man has no reason to change outwardly and to preen. He was already accepted, two women like him at once, everything suits him.
Although one detail is still worth a look. If the spouse was not particularly picky before the underwear, and then suddenly began to stock up stacks of pants from Calvin Klein, this is an alarming sign. It is unlikely that he decided so “transformed” for the sake of himself or his wife.
Delays at work
The 21st century can safely be called the century of workaholism and slave exploitation at work. So the husband can really stay for work cases and more than once. And he will also grumble at his wife for her attempts to hug him, because he is tired and hates the whole world after a hard shift.
What about corporate events that come without wives? The answer is simple - the boss is a goon. Wives at the buffet table are additional expenses that the management does not want to take on.
Of course, one cannot say for sure that the spouse is delayed at work, and not at a party with another woman. However, accusing the faithful of treason, arguing such a conjecture only by his late returns on weekdays, is also a so-so idea.
Frequent phone calls
If the wife really believes that her husband will talk with the mistress at home for a long time, then she considers him to be a complete idiot.
If a man changes, he certainly feels fear of exposure. He will do everything to not get caught red-handed. Stealthy telephone conversations may indicate anything, for example, he:
- prepares a surprise (it is better to check the calendar for the presence of soon holidays);
- I got problems that I’m afraid to talk about or don’t want to disturb;
- solves work issues in private, so as not to be distracted;
- he makes “jokes” with a friend, obviously not intended for a thin female ear, etc.
You can strain yourself if the husband is clearly looking for a reason to sneak out of the apartment for a few minutes and takes the phone with him. For example, if he, for all his dislike for shopping, offers to go for groceries. Or suddenly decides that a quarter-filled trash can - this is an excuse to stroll and throw garbage. At the same time completely refuses to take his wife with him. Then it is already clear - he went to his mistress to call.
Impairment of intimate life
Even the most passionate feelings calm down after several years of routine. No, they do not disappear for good, but they “lie to the bottom”. All the habits of the partner are studied, and diversity, as a rule, is not much. Sex also becomes more bland, it is natural. To make it more diverse, you can:
- go on a trip together, change the situation;
- transfer to someone of children / pets / work for a few days and just be together;
- try something new (poses, locations, role-playing games, toys, etc.);
- hint at a visit to a sexologist (it is unlikely that the husband agrees to go to a specialist of this profile, but he will certainly try to prove that everything is fine in bed);
- buy erotic lingerie, take the initiative in their hands.
It is justified to be wary of, you can only if the spouse suddenly, for no apparent reason, began to apply something new in bed. And this “new” he regularly repeats. This situation may mean that the husband tried the experiment on the side and is now trying to include him in the marital sex. At the same time, he often ignores the spouse's reaction to the novelty and periodically tries to impose a pose / game / action on her.
Reliable signs of treason
Finds in his car
If the husband has a mistress, she was 100% in his car. Wrong man can buy packs flavors for cars. Therefore, if bouquets of cheap chemical aromas suddenly began to come from the salon, it's time to think.
The wife can also find out about her rival for two more reasons: someone else's female thing or the perfect order in the cabin, although before her husband such cleanliness was not observed. What may cause suspicions:
- the presence of female hair on the seats;
- earrings, rings, small trinkets, even underwear, clearly belonging to an alien woman;
- a differently adjusted passenger seat;
- fingerprints, palms, in general, any parts of the body on the glasses (visible when sweating);
- traces of female cosmetics (foundation, eye shadow, powder - difficult to calculate, but it happens that it is very noticeable).
In general, the “iron horse” of the faithful will give him out with guts. However, getting into the salon with “inspection” will not be so easy. It is possible that the husband will not leave his wife alone in the car for a long time.
Sudden bounty
If the husband, from whom it was not always possible even to wait for a gift for his birthday, began to buy various trinkets and fall asleep with flowers for no reason, it is suspicious. It is hard to believe, but even the traitors sometimes wake up conscience. She kicks to the side a sense of guilt that is beginning to rage, and the spouse suddenly decides that she can plug him with generosity.
The logic is approximately as follows: “I have a mistress, but I don’t want to let go of my wife either. My conscience gnaws me, so I will try to buy it off by wringing my wife with presents. I am evil, my generosity is good. All, the universal equilibrium is restored ”.
Paradoxically, this situation can play into the hands of his wife. It's not even about lucrative gifts. The whole point is that the husband thus tries to save the marriage, and the mistress - his temporary passion. It is quite possible that he himself will tire of hiding everything and stop communication on the side.
Condoms
Couples usually stop using them or resort to them irregularly. So an open pack of condoms in the glove compartment of his car, in his coat pocket, in his bag - yes, anywhere except for home places that his wife probably knows - this is a bad but obvious sign.
If the couple does use these contraceptives, condoms of another brand or subspecies (with flavorings, without lubrication, with a specific surface, etc.) may become evidence of betrayal. The reaction of the husband to the discovery of his wife can also tell a lot. The faithful spouse, who simply decided to try new contraceptives with his wife, will react to this calmly.
The most obvious and cruel evidence of treasonassociated with this method of contraception: the husband insists (does not offer / asks) to use condoms, although the couple have long refused them. There is a huge chance that he not only changed, but also hooked Venus train onto his shoulders.
His phone
SMS, phone book, call history and browser, mail, social networks (if it is a smartphone) - this is his dossier and, possibly, compromising information. A traitor does not necessarily behave suspiciously, that is, he does not sneak over the phone in secret and does not write to someone every 10 minutes with a mysterious smile. However, in his phone there will certainly be an answer to the question of his loyalty.
But! Checking his phone is not just an entrance, it is breaking into his personal space with rattles, fireworks and the Brazilian carnival.
- If he is guiltythen this will only speed up the divorce, and such an invasion will obviously diminish the feeling of guilt for the offended, already ex-wife.
- If he is faithfulsuch a step would completely undermine trust, worsen relations and, quite possibly, lead to separation.
Therefore, before you begin to rummage in his phone, it is better to think about the consequences three times. Women do not like it when their elects doubt them and climb to dig into their phones. Why should men like it?
On the other hand, what to do if it still seems that the faithful is changing and there are no signs or they are too blurred?
Speak. This is an especially good option, if the suspect wife has studied quite well how facial expressions, gestures, and the spouse's reaction in general under different emotional states change. Further development of several scenarios is possible:
- he confesses to the crime and the couple will figure out how to live on, what steps to take;
- the husband will calm his darling, explain the reason for his strange behavior. This contributes to even greater convergence. It is also important for men to know what they experience and value for them;
- the traitor will tell lies that he has no one. However, his reaction will betray lies.
About the latter. The reaction of each person is largely individual. However, there are several common signs that indicate the lies and tensions of any person. It:
- shifty eyes, avoid direct gaze. Or vice versa - the liar will try to keep eye contact for an unnaturally long time (longer than 5-7 seconds);
- shaking hands, attempts to hide the palms (in the pockets, behind the back), redness or blanching of the skin of the face (rarely), perspiration;
- touch to the nose, straightening clothes, hair straightening, constant rotation of a small object in the hands (pens, keys, napkins, etc.);
- quick speech, reservations, stuttering, slurred sounds;
- rapid shallow breathingdilated pupils;
- contradictions in the stories, twisting the facts, repeating the same argument.
It is better to gather all your strength so that the conversation takes place calmly. This will help to quickly get to the truth, if the elect is innocent. And this calm will make the wrong man nervous and give himself away.
Sometimes women who do not understand how to find out whether the husband is cheating, perceive any misunderstanding as a real piece of evidence. And in vain, because even the most reliable at first glance signs may turn out to be an absurd coincidence. Close your eyes to abrupt changes in the spouse, of course, not the best idea. However, all the time to “graze” and “nag” is worse. In the end, precisely because of the excessive distrust and suspicion of his wife, a man can really escape to his mistress.
