I started practicing meditation three and a half years ago. Thanks to practice, amazing positive metamorphosis occurred to me. Meditation helped me pull myself out of the pool of depression and dissatisfaction, she dispelled a thick veil of delusions that enveloped me, she taught me not to obey my destructive feelings and be happy.
You can say that meditation has completely changed my life. When I look back and understand how much good meditation has brought to my life, when I read reviews of people on my (and not only) website about how practice helped them when I turn to countless examples of wisdom in the philosophy of the east, imbued with spirit meditating, I am dealt with regret that the majority of people on the globe do not practice this simple but such effective practice!
Previously, confusion was mixed with this. I did not understand why everyone does not practice meditation? Especially those people who suffer suffer because of the problems that caused me!
At first, I thought that this was happening because people do not know about meditation or identify it with religion. It seemed to me that it would be worthwhile for me to tell about the amazing results of the practice, how everyone will immediately begin to meditate!
Of course, it was a very presumptuous faith. Not all people begin to meditate, even if they agree with all the arguments in favor of meditation. Anyway, they still have some kind of hidden uncertainty or secret disagreement. They can heed all the arguments, say that these arguments are reasonable and logical, but they still will not have any inner confidence in the practice.
Why it happens? In this article I will try to answer this question. In the course of communicating with different people about meditation, as well as in the process of responding to readers' comments, I realized some reasons why people neglect such a useful and deep practice as meditation.
Here I will list these reasons with detailed comments. I will try to prove that there are almost no good reasons for not meditating!
If you are not meditating, then perhaps this article will help you to deal with some doubts about how to start doing it.
And if you are engaged in meditation, then here you will find arguments that will help you to convince your friends and relatives that you need to engage in meditation.
But these are not the only goals of this post! In this article (as in my other articles on the topic of meditation) I want to reveal the meaning and purpose of the practice, to let you know what you need to meditate for and why it can help you! These tips will make it easier for you to begin regular meditation. Even if you have been meditating for a long time, here you will find information that will help you better understand the practice.
Further, I will give reasons for which people refuse to meditate. It is important to understand that in the case of each individual, more often than not one is present, but several reasons, presented in various proportions. Let's look at these reasons.
Reason 1 - It has helped you, but it will not help me.
The essence of this argument can be expressed in the following statement:
"I believe, Nikolai, that meditation helped you, thanks to her, you got rid of your addictions, psychological problems and gained happiness and comfort. But, you know, all people are different, everyone has different problems, and even if they are the same, they are different the causes of these problems. What helped you will not necessarily help me. Every person needs his "individual key" from his personal problems. "
My counterargument:
This is a fairly common argument and it can be said to be one of the most complex and “subtle”. Therefore, I am talking about him first.
It is difficult because a person can be convinced in practice of the failure of this reason only when he himself begins to meditate and receive the first effects of meditation. Until that time, this person can understand that it is still too early for him to talk about whether meditation can help him or not only if he is explained very well to him. This is what I will try to do.
Meditation is usually associated with yogic calmness and equanimity in people. Of course, meditation calms the mind. But its meaning is not only in this. Meditation clears us of delusions and helps us see things as they are. People are mistaken about their desires, goals and needs. That is why many of them are unhappy. They do not know what they lack for happiness and do not realize the true causes of their problems. They may think that they know it, but suffer frustration when the effort invested does not bring the expected result.
Meditation helps to realize what a person really needs in order to feel happy and satisfied. And this new understanding may be very different from what they thought before.
What became a truth for a meditator could be a lie for him some time ago and quite the opposite!
I will give an example. (All the examples in this article are hypothetical, but some of them are based on real comments and feedback from people that I received, as well as on my personal experience). One woman faces a constant misfortune. She can not maintain long-term relationships with love partners. It seems to her that the problem is in her partners, who are not ideal. And she thinks that the reason for her misfortune is the absence of real, eternal love!
Tips to start meditating to solve these problems, such a woman will be skeptical. Does meditation help her find the perfect love? Does she point to an impeccable partner? Of course not! Then why does she need meditation? All this talk about improving self-control, about getting rid of delusions, about peace and harmony, which can be obtained through meditation, for such a person is an empty sound, if he is looking for the perfect relationship!
What can be harmony without perfect love? Maybe meditation helps someone, such person thinks, but she definitely won't help me with my problems!
But suppose for some reason she began to meditate. After some time, thanks to meditation, she realized that the problem was not in her partners, but in her expectations. There are no ideal people, just as there are no such men who completely coincide in character with her. And you just need to accept and work on the development of their relationship.
Passion, craving are temporary feelings, which, then, are replaced by love. And the cessation of passion is not at all a sign that the relationship is at an impasse. And love and men - this is of course important, but it was not the only reason for the suffering of a woman.
Through meditation, this woman discovered that she has many flaws that poison her life. Previously, she did not notice her selfishness, impulsiveness, propensity to blame others for their troubles and self-doubt. She did not even see the problems! But meditation opened her eyes, helped to see the problems of her character and gave her the opportunity to understand that her personality can be changed. She was convinced of this when meditation brought the first changes in her emotions and thinking, when she realized that she began to look at her feelings in a different way, when for the first time she was able to cope with her constant bouts of anger or fear. “Once I managed to control this once, it means you can learn to do it all the time if you work on yourself,” she began to think.
She began to improve and become happier. Meditation has saved her from the "garbage" that has accumulated in her head, taught her to relax and manage her emotions!
She did a lot of work on herself and thanks to this, not only her relationships with men became harmonious and long, but she also got rid of many internal problems that she hadn’t thought of before. As a result, meditation did lead her to a successful relationship (and gave many more besides this relationship), but not at all in the way she thought about at the beginning.
Her initial desire to find the ideal in the whole man and without changing her habits would lead her to even greater misfortune! But meditation dispelled errors and helped to understand what this woman really needs and what is the cause of all her problems! She needs to change herself and stop looking for the ideal husband that doesn't exist in nature! Relationships should be developed, problems should be clarified, and not destroyed by the first conflict and the fact of mutual misunderstanding. And you need not only to look for a decent partner, but also to correct your own character, which causes problems in the relationship and in their search.
The second example. Another woman was very worried because her husband left her. Does meditation help him get it back? Not! But thanks to meditation, she can understand that you need to live further, and not dwell on the past. Practice will help her cope with negative emotions and the consequences of trauma.
The third example. One person changed one job after another. He thought he would not be happy until he found a perfect career. What kind of meditation can we talk about when you need to think about a career and make money?
But if such a person starts meditating, he will understand that the meaning of life is not only in work, that there are a lot of other interesting things in life and you should not be so hard killed because of your career. Meditation will give him a chance to understand that until he finds happiness within himself, he will not be able to enjoy any work, since his inner dissatisfaction will continue to project himself to the outside world.
Fourth example. One man could not cope with his addictions: he drank beer every day and was a heavy smoker. It seems to him that he needs to focus on combating his addictions (which he has been trying unsuccessfully to exercise for many years), rather than engage in self-improvement and self-knowledge through meditation. It seems silly to him that meditation will relieve him of his addictions.
But he still started practicing. He did not immediately quit his bad habits, but he became calmer and more balanced. He, like the woman from the first example, realized his internal problems, which provoked him to seek reassurance in alcohol and to resort to smoking. Dissatisfaction with life, fears, complexes and nervousness, which turned bad habits into a way of everyday salvation, faded into the background. The man just disappeared reason to drink and smoke!
In this case, the case remains small. Just quit and endure withdrawal syndrome. It is unlikely that this man will want to return to these dependencies, if he eliminates the causes of their occurrence. In addition, meditation gives a feeling of peace, inner comfort and happiness. Why drink or drink something when it’s good? The last argument is the main reason why I don’t drink alcohol or other drugs at all.
Meditation does not necessarily lead every person to precisely such conclusions and results as you see in these examples. But it will allow people to dispel the veil of their illusions and understand what is really necessary for them. Many personalities are constantly under the influence of emotions and fears. Their brain is full of thoughts, feelings, depressed feelings.
Meditation helps to deal with all these thoughts and feelings, to clear the head of "garbage" and look at the world and at yourself soberly.
Some Buddhist teachers said that in order to see the world as it is, you need to bring the mind to a state of rest. And then it will accurately reflect the world, like the smooth surface of a wave reflecting the surrounding landscape.
And the restless mind, shrouded in delusions, is like a foaming, bubbling and rapidly changing water surface. The reflection in it will never be a copy of the surrounding landscape.
And this concerns not only the perception of the external world, but also the perception of oneself. You cannot understand yourself while your mind is enveloped in passions, negative thoughts and strong attachments.
From the start, many people find it difficult to appreciate what meditation can actually bring. It can completely change your life and your views, so that you will look at the world, at your goals and desires, not at all in the way you look at it now.
It will not give instant satisfaction of their passions, but it will help to look at these passions in a different way. Maybe your uncontrollable desires can be the cause of your troubles, and not at all the fact that you cannot satisfy them all?
Meditation takes your mind to a completely different level and it is sometimes difficult to understand how the mind will work at that level while you are in that state of mind that you are in right now, without meditation.
Therefore, you should not spread your current expectations and doubts about the effect of meditation that you can expect in the future. There is only one opportunity to comprehend this effect and to understand how meditation can help you. This opportunity is meditation. Without practicing it, it is very difficult to talk about it and evaluate how it can affect you, being in a state of "polluted mind."
You may ask, what prompted me to engage in meditation when I could not even imagine its effect? In fact, I simply believed that she could relieve me of the symptoms of depression and panic attacks. But this does not mean that I thought that I would look at things in a completely different way after meditation.
I thought that the cause of my ailments is a disturbed chemical balance in the brain. And decided that meditation can bring him back to normal. Why not try, I thought. I treated meditation as a natural anti-depressant. I thought that my mood would rise thanks to her by itself, and I would suffer less.
I didn’t even think that my life could turn over, that my views on things would be overvalued.
Through practice, I realized that I have many problems and shortcomings, and these problems are the causes of my depression. The point is not only chemical balance. Depression does not appear just like that. The problem is in the properties of my personality, emotionality, laziness, self-pity, poor health, bad habits, poor self-control, etc. I have not previously perceived these shortcomings as disadvantages. I thought little of them at all. Or blamed them on someone else.
I realized that some of these problems can be solved through meditation and work on myself. To get rid of depression, I do not need to deal exclusively with the problem of “wrong balance”, I need to improve my personality, get rid of other problems, which became the real causes of my depression!
And I not only got rid of psychological ailments, but also developed many of my qualities, gained a goal of life and a sense of the value of this life.
Also, like many people, I did not understand what meditation actually gives until I felt the first effect from it. I just hoped that it stabilizes my emotional state. If someone told me then that the practice would help me not only to improve the chemical balance, but to change my character, which is the cause of all my troubles, I would not have understood this argument. After all, it seemed to me that my personality was something unchanged, and I did not see many of my problems. I thought of myself as a developed and sober-minded person who has no serious problems other than his depression.
Therefore, I perfectly understand those people who do not think at all of meditation as an effective tool for correcting one’s own character, since I myself did not think about practice in such a context.
Instead of talking about whether meditation will help you or not - meditate! And only then can you find out. Practice can bring the most unpredictable (in a good way) and amazing results that you could not even guess!
A little more about the delusions of the mind ...
Fallacies of the mind form a false belief in the uniqueness and complexity of their own problems. People think that meditation is a kind of practice that helps only in particular cases, but for their particular problem you also need something special and unique, something that only suits them.
I encounter the results of such confidence almost every week when I read comments on the article on how to cope with panic attacks.
I do not claim that many people ask for advice without reading the article. Some of them probably read it and do not miss the part in which I talk about how meditation can greatly help in the fight against panic attacks.
But, they think that meditation will not suit them. Therefore, they write me long comments with a detailed listing of the details of their lives. Например: "в 2004 году меня бросил муж и начались приступы… в 2005 - 2007 я принимала Прозак, но потом приступы вернулись… я очень впечатлительная… много всего пробовала, чтобы избавиться от этого… последние три месяца приступы не повторялись… но вчера вернулись… » (это очень краткий пример, в действительности подобные комментарии бывают намного длиннее).
И ничего про медитацию!
А заканчивается такой комментарий стандартным вопросом: "посоветуйте, что мне делать?" Меня всегда такие вопросы приводили в недоумение. Ведь я так обстоятельно и подробно писал в статье про пользу медитации, а человек, вроде, как прочитал ее, все равно спрашивает, что ему делать!
Я даже воспринимал это как признак неуважения ко мне, как к автору. Но недавно я понял, что для многих людей вполне естественно переоценивать уникальность своих проблем.
Они винят в своих проблемах людей, обстоятельства, события. И им кажется, что для разных жизненных обстоятельств, которые по их мнению, вызывают их проблемы, требуется разный подход. Но окутанный страхами ум, не всегда способен осознавать истинные причины этих проблем. Дело не только в событиях и людях, а в нашем восприятии этих вещей, в наших личных переживаниях, которые эти вещи вызывают. Причина наших бед часто находится у нас внутри, даже если мы этого не осознаем.
Часто наши беды коренятся в неспособности контролировать эмоции, в болезненных переживаниях, чувствительности к стрессу, внутреннем напряжении, плохом нервном здоровье, болезненном характере, а не в хитрых перипетиях нашей жизни и нашего детства. Обстоятельства разные, но те свойства характера, которые вызывают всякие душевные недуги у разных людей похожи. И с этими недугами помогает справиться медитация.
Медитация помогает осознать эти причины и начать корректировать свой внутренний мир, работать со страхами, переживаниями и комплексами, изменять мышление, восприятие окружающего мира и взгляд на вещи (например, перестать винить во всем обстоятельства, перестать бояться трудностей, перестать критиковать людей и т.д).
Именно поэтому медитация является универсальным ключом, который подходит к любому замку. Она не поставляет мгновенного решения проблем. Но она позволяет очистить ум от заблуждений, найти эти проблемы и их решение. Она улучшает работу нервной системы и всего организма в целом. Она приносит спокойствие и умиротворение. Такое состояние является универсальным подспорьем для самоанализа и работы над собой. В таком состоянии нуждается каждый человек!
Именно поэтому эта практика подойдет практически всем независимо от личных особенностей каждого человека или событий их жизни.
А на многочисленные длинные вопросы с просьбой помочь советом, я отвечаю, медитируйте! Это поможет вам осознать истинные причины своих проблем и обнаружить способ, который поможет вам их устранить. Этим способом может оказаться сама медитация, а может, что-то другое.
Большинству людей с нервными болезнями, с эмоциональными проблемами пойдут на пользу советы больше проводить времени на воздухе, больше отдыхать, учиться управлять стрессом и неважно в чем именно заключаются их проблемы! То же самое можно сказать о медитации.
Многие люди, читающие этот сайт, должно быть, воспринимают мои советы медитировать, как ответ священника на длинную исповедь: "молитесь и все будет хорошо!" Я не пытаюсь игнорировать вашу проблему или отделаться от вас. Надеюсь, в этом пункте данной статьи я разъяснил этот момент.
Медитируйте! Я верю, что медитация поможет всем! И вы даже не представляете, какие удивительные и хорошие метаморфозы вас ждут!
Причина 2 - У меня нет времени на медитацию
Аргумент:
У меня так мало времени и так много дел, я бы хотел заниматься медитацией, но мне некогда.
Мой контраргумент:
Если у вас нет времени на медитацию, значит вы это время отдаете тому, что цените больше потенциального эффекта медитации, например, работе, своим делам, сну, просмотру телевизора, интернету и т.д.
Многие вещи, которыми вы занимаетесь в жизни и, которые считаете важными, призваны только удовлетворять ваши желания и дарить вам такое желаемое эмоциональное состояние. Другими словами, вы много работаете не для того, чтобы заработать денег, а для того, чтобы получить удовольствие от этих денег или просто, потому что вам нравится много работать.
Все ваши действия направлены на достижение гипотетического счастья или удовлетворенности, радостных впечатлений для себя и для своих близких. А деньги, знакомства, путешествия - это средства, которые служат данной цели.
Но медитация способна дать человеку настоящее счастье и свободу! Она может освободить вас от эмоций и страха, подарить вам спокойствие и уверенность в собственных силах. Она преобразит вашу жизнь, изменит ее к лучшему!
И ради этого не нужно уходить в гималайские пещеры и медитировать целыми днями. Достаточно лишь 40-ка минут практики в день! Разве это так много? Если учитывать потенциальный эффект всего от сорока потраченных минут в день, то это ничтожно мало! Вы тратите на работу от 40-ка часов в неделю! Но обладание деньгами и всякими благами никогда не принесет вас такое же счастье, какое принесет медитация!
Понятно, что вопрос выживания, намного важнее вопроса счастья. Вам нужно работать, чтобы есть. Но ваш личный график ведь не забит только теми делами, которые призваны обеспечить самые базовые потребности вашей жизни?
Поэтому уделите 40 минут в день медитации. Эти 40 минут стоят того, чтобы пожертвовать ради них сверхурочной работой, развлечениями, интернетом, видеоиграми и даже сном! Вы тратите это время на себя, а не на обслуживания интересов чужих людей.
Не волнуйтесь, медитация компенсирует вам упущенное время сна! Если вы регулярно медитируете, то потребность в сне снижается. Во время медитации вы отдыхаете, восстанавливаете работу своей нервной системы, избавляетесь от стресса. Медитация несет функции отдыха и сна. Она способствует очищению вашего ума от накопившихся мыслей и переживаний. Когда вы еще сможете избавиться от подавленных переживаний, если не во время медитации?
Медитация способствует самосовершенствованию и обретению гармонии. Как много всего и за 40 минут! Я не знаю способа более эффективно задействовать этот временной отрезок.
Причина 3 - Мне лень
Аргумент:
Я ленивый, у меня нет силы воли, чтобы медитировать, это слишком сложно и долго.
Мой контраргумент:
А вы вообще желаете избавиться от лени или так и хотите оставаться ленивым всю жизнь? Вы собираетесь что-то делать с этим? Не надо думать, что только вы ленивы и ничего не можете с этим поделать. На самом деле все люди ленивы, лень - это естественное человеческое свойство.
Просто кто-то научился эту лень перебарывать, а кто-то всю жизнь идет у нее на поводу. Сила воли - это качество, которое поддается развитию. А развить ее помогает, в том числе, медитация.
Во-первых, медитация не требует от вас сверхусилий. Медитировать намного легче (с точки зрения силы воли), чем ходить в тренажерный зал или заставить себя заниматься спортом. В то же время медитация - хороший и легкий способ себя немного дисциплинировать, пересилить собственную лень.
В практике нет ничего очень сложного, с чем бы вы могли не справиться. Нужно просто сидеть в неподвижной позе два раза в день по 15-20 минут. Но если вы будете делать это регулярно, то практика сформирует в вас привычку к порядку, к системе и при этом не будет стоить больших усилий. Медитация - хорошее средство, с которого стоит начать борьбу с ленью.
Во-вторых, медитация развивает силу воли на нейронном уровне, способствуя накоплению серого вещества в префронтальной части мозга, которая отвечает за самоконтроль.
Если вам очень лень сидеть 20 минут 2 раза в день, то медитируйте хотя бы по 10 минут дважды в день.
… .
Статья получается довольно длинная, тогда как, в планах у меня описать еще, как минимум 5 причин из-за которых люди отказываются медитировать. Комментировать некоторые из этих причин я могу очень подробно и обстоятельно, также как я прокомментировал первую причину из данной статьи. Поэтому в моих планах написать вторую часть этой статьи (а, если потребуется, и третью).
Вторая часть уже опубликована. Надеюсь, эта статья внесет вклад в распространение такой замечательной практики, как медитация. Я буду очень признателен, если вы напишите здесь свои причины, из-за которых вы не медитируете или сомневаетесь в том, чтобы начать это делать. Может быть, я о них еще не думал. Тогда я рассмотрю их в следующей части (частях) поста.
Ваши комментарии уже помогли мне уловить настроения людей по отношению к медитации и предлагать для них способы разрешения их сомнений касательно практики. Ведь эта статья отчасти основана на мнениях людей, которые они оставили на моем сайте. Я хочу, чтобы эти мнения помогали мне и в будущем! Помогали мне находить подход к людям, чувствовать их страхи и сомнения и быть ближе к ним!
