Each of us needs the love of others, support and understanding. But for some reason, friends and girlfriends always wind up around some, while others feel lonely, even being in society for a whole day. Such people often go unnoticed in any team or cause hostility among others. If you encounter such a situation in your life, you are probably worried about the question, why nobody loves me?
Why don't people like you?
Each of us in most situations understands how this or that person relates to him. If you most often encounter rudeness, neglect or other negative manifestations in your address, you should think about the reason for this phenomenon. Most often we ourselves provoke others with our behavior:
- Appearance.
People are repelled by informal clothing, an overabundance of body piercing and tattoos, just an untidy appearance. Consider yourself critically in front of the mirror. Perhaps your style is defiant or aggressive? Are you always wearing clean things? Does your appearance match social status and circumstances?
Meet on clothes. The person you first met does not know anything about your intellectual development, character, inner world. Therefore, he can make the first impression only on the basis of what he sees in front of him. Your appearance is a business card. Try to always match the impression you want to make.
- Facial expression.
We often do not notice what emotions are displayed on our face at different points in our life. In order to constantly control yourself, you would have to constantly look in the mirror. Watch people in public transport. Few people can see a friendly facial expression. Most individuals will express boredom, neglect, sadness, and the burden of problems accumulated during the day. What is the most common emotion on your face?
Control yourself, try to smile more often. When you are told something, avoid the lack of expression on the face, show your sincere interest in the interlocutor and goodwill towards him.
- Mood.
There is no desire to approach and address a person in a bad mood. Other “eternal sufferers” are also repelled from themselves, who at any opportunity do not forget to tell about their problems, complain about life or just breathe with a sad face. If you most often feel nervous, irritated, sleepy, or sad, do not be surprised that people avoid communicating with you.
When you find yourself in a team, when communicating with friends, relatives, colleagues, leave your problems and negative emotions with you. Understand that each of us faces both minor troubles and life tragedies. Therefore, you have no moral right to load the burden of your problems on everyone who is near.
- Behavior.
You may look great and be an educated person, but if you do not know how to behave in society, other people will avoid communicating with you. Think whether you are always polite with others and friendly? Obsession, arrogance, familiarity, hypocrisy, rough flattery, the desire to seem better at the expense of others' failures and simply the absence of good manners repel others from you.
Watch the speech, avoid profanity, jargon and dialect. Pay attention to how you talk with other people, do you remember your personal boundaries, do you not forget about the chain of command in conversations with your superiors? Control not only speech, but also your manners. It may be worth reading a book on etiquette for review.
Adaptation in a team
If you are negatively treated only in a certain circle, the problem is not always in you. Each team (formal and informal) has its own leaders and outsiders. You can be the soul of the company and a welcome guest at parties of friends and relatives, but at the same time meet with complete rejection and neglect in your address in the working team. If the negative comes only from colleagues or classmates in the university, you should think about what caused such an attitude among them. You may have made the following errors:
- proved to be the "pet" of the higher leadership;
- came into conflict with an informal leader;
- consider yourself as the best specialist, smarter than others, and occasionally remind others about it;
- due to their irresponsible attitude they repeatedly let fellow students or colleagues;
- do not help others, negatively react to simple comments or requests.
If you find yourself in one of the points, do not be discouraged! Everything can be corrected by adjusting their behavior. In a team it is important to be able to compromise, to hear another person. It is quite possible to defend your opinion, while avoiding a conflict situation.
The desire to cause sympathy in other people is quite natural. But do not overdo it in your desire to please! Do not forget that to cause sympathy in all, without exception, is impossible, and it is not necessary. Be friendly, polite and attentive to others, and they will answer you the same!