Everyone wants to be successful and prosperous. Many read motivational literature and visit advanced business coaches to change themselves and drastically pump their lives. Most of the techniques are based on the same tips. However, life is so multifaceted that it is difficult to cram it into a certain frame and put it in patterned schemes. Have you ever thought that mindlessly following the proposed methods could lead to the exact opposite result? And motivating advice can turn into demotivating.
The most common recommendations, literally following which you can become unhappy
1. It is enough to visualize your dream and your life will become as you want.
This is the favorite theory of most advanced coaches. "Set a goal and thoroughly imagine it in all the little things. Soak up your dream, fall asleep and wake up with it in your head!".
This is quite simple. Even with a poorly developed imagination, there are magazines with beautiful pictures of prestigious car brands, villas in the Caribbean and yachts in the Mediterranean. Here you cut them and hanged on a large board for visualization right above your bed. Life continues its measured step day after day, but for some reason nothing in it changes. And you begin to slowly hate yourself and the surrounding reality, more and more often plunging into thoughts of universal injustice.
The problem is that you have succumbed to the illusory promise of future fairy-tale changes, based only on the myth that misleads everyone and says the following: life is what you want from it. But the truth is quite different: taking life as it is, you do not contradict the natural flow, but, yielding to its flow, you develop harmoniously. We do not claim that setting goals is bad or wrong, on the contrary. Only life passes in every second of our time, you should not postpone happiness for an uncertain future. Find opportunities to enjoy the present.
2. A person must experience happiness every second.
And if you do not do this, then something is wrong with you, and urgent measures should be taken to become happy. In real life, we constantly experience a variety of emotions and feelings. Even if we reject those that are negatively colored, there remains a fairly large choice: peace of mind, all sorts of satisfaction, pleasure, joy, hope, anticipation, etc.
To experience constantly happiness is given far from everyone (if at all given). This feeling comes fleetingly and does not obey the orders of our mind. You should not try to follow the doctrines imposed from outside, that if at this moment you are not bursting with happiness, it means that you are unhappy, defective and unsuccessful.
3. Life is an upward movement every second.
This myth asserts that a person must constantly progress, and strictly in a vertical direction, without departing from the goal and the intended path, not a millimeter. Retreat equals crash. If you have wrung out 50 times today, then tomorrow you should wring out at least 60. Such a straightforward and categorical approach to life, in fact, denies the right to make a mistake, and leaves no chance for elementary rest, relaxation, and peace of mind. The slightest failure, even for objective reasons, moving straight up, is perceived as a defeat.
And life is not a straight line, it is more like a spiral. If the straight-line model of development and forward movement is replaced with a spiral model, it becomes clear why, often, despite the titanic efforts, the person is almost at the reference point. Having found yourself in the same place from which you previously started, you should not fall into depression and deny everything, just start a new round, which this time will certainly take you to a higher stage of development (spiral).
Think, analyze, figure out whether the settings you are teaching suit you, whether the heart responds to them. If not, then boldly discard such advice. Find your unique way and methods of movement on it, and be happy and harmonious!
