Should I forgive treason: expert opinion

No one is immune from infidelity. And, unfortunately, no matter how wonderful your loved one is, one day you may find out that he has someone on the side.

Should I forgive treason? Let's figure it out.

What can be considered treason?

If you interview people on the subject of "what is treason," you can get completely different answers.

For women, it most often begins at the level of feelings, when only they appear thinking about other guys or flirting.

Men basically say that cheating is directly physical contactmoreover, it is sex (and that, many do not include here oral sex or the call of a prostitute).

If you average these values, you can say that cheating is when you are in contact with the opposite sex, relying on sex or getting it. But we note again that this is all very individual.

What are the causes of infidelity?

The main reasons for adultery men:

Interest in another woman, the desire to try something new. Such a betrayal can be both one-time and permanent.
Alcohol. Alcohol liberates us, increases desire. Most often, after such a betrayal, the man repents and is not interested in continuing communication on the side.
Routine gray days, lack of attention from the beloved. I want diversity, to feel their masculine power. Such betrayal is usually long lasting and can even provoke a man to leave the family.
Sexual incompatibility paired with. A man just does not have enough sex, and he decides to fill his lack on the side.
Love. This occurs if the relationship or marriage is forced, by calculation or by aerial.
And when a man meets the one with which he truly falls in love, his existing relationship is little limited.
The desire to get thrills or revenge. He wants someone to prove something.
Status mistress. Such a man believes that he has achieved a lot in life and has every right to have a young and pretty mistress.
Can not resist the temptation. He was called - and he went. If a girl showed attention to him, he cannot refuse her.
He considers his darling a habit or even a gray mouse. My wife stopped taking care of herself or just tired, I don’t want to leave the family, you can just find a beautiful girl on the side.

The main reasons for adultery women:

Lack of attention. She lacks care or romance, and she finds them in another man.
Revenge. The woman finds out that her lover has changed and believes that she also has the right to have an affair on the side.
Alcohol. Girls, too, may be tempted under the influence of alcohol.
Curiosity. Perhaps the woman had only one man in the sexual sphere and she wanted to try something new.
Dissatisfaction in the intimate sphere. If the husband is enough for a minute or he does not pay enough attention to the preliminary caresses, then at some point the girl may just get bored. And her dissatisfaction with sex will grow into treason.
Family purely symbolic. There is no love. If together only because of children or by calculation, then it is not surprising that both parties change.
I want to feel welcome. If the husband does not pay attention, spends all the time at work or in front of the TV, then the woman may want to reveal her sexuality.
Husband is not around. He is on business trips, at business meetings or somewhere else.
After a million requests to spend more time at home, a woman can not stand and decide to commit adultery.

Do betrayals forgive?

All depends on a specific situation.

Your relationship, their duration and other criteria affect whether a partner will forgive betrayal or not.

But statistically women much more often make concessions and forgive their unfaithful husbands.

To forgive or not to forgive treason? How to forgive infidelity? Practical tips:

Psychologist tips

Wives

Should I forgive the betrayal of her husband? As you know, the stronger sex is more prone to intrigues on the side. Therefore, this issue is particularly relevant.

The answer is: it all depends on the circumstances. Do not get excited and do not expel the husband from the house. Calm down and better yourself change the situation for a while. Weigh the pros and cons. Ask yourself honestly: do you want to keep this relationship?

According to statistics, 25% of men who cheated on their wives sincerely repent and never go left.

But 75% change again and even regularly. Do you believe your husband is in the first category?

Husbands

Is it worth forgiving a betrayal of a wife?

Women's treason much less common, but the question “is it worth to forgive my wife if she has changed” also worries many?

An unequivocal answer to this question is impossible. It all depends on whether you want to be with her and on. And also if you can look into her eyes and not remember the betrayal?

The main thing, no need to hack in a temper. Talk to your spouse, find out the reason for treason. Find out if she repents. And then make a decision.

How to survive betrayal and whether to forgive her? Recommendations in the video:

Guys

If the girl has changed, is it necessary to forgive? To answer this question remember why you are together.

If you are kept only by a habit and in fact the list of claims is much more than the list of happy moments, then why keep it up?

Most likely you will torture each other with betrayals or something else.

But if everything is fine with you, and you honestly don’t understand why she decided to have an affair on the side, then you need to analyze everything. Do you want to be with her and more?

Are you ready to forget about it? Are you both ready to work on relationships? All these questions will allow you to decide whether to forgive her or not.

To girls

Do I have to forgive a cheating guy?

If you find out that your boyfriend turned out to be wrong, try first. turn off emotions and pull yourself together.

Think about your relationship. What were they like? Happy? Or is it not very? Maybe you have long cooled to each other?

Talk to the guy. Why did he change? Do you think he will decide on this again? And can you continue to meet, knowing that he was in the arms of another?

Of course, everybody deserves a second chance. But the main thing that you do not suffer from this.

Should I forgive treason? Expert opinion:

When can you pardon?

First you need to understand Can you continue to live in peace with this?. Do not hide an offense, do not be offended and blame your partner all your life, namely, to forgive and move on without thinking about the past.

Even if it takes you some time, but you are sure that you can, then it is worth it.

It makes sense to forgive treason if you have common childrenespecially if they are small. In this case, you should try and work on yourself. But only if you can be a family, and not just to depict it.

Also, if you see that your partner sincerely regrets his deed and swears that this will never happen again, then you should at least try to give him a second chance.

After all, you surely roads this relationship. Maybe it really will get better, and you can be together further?

How to learn to forgive?

If you really decide that relationships are important to you and you ready to work on yourself Here are some important rules from psychologists that will help you:

As soon as you found out about the intrigue of your partner no need to get excited immediately, get into a scandal or throw his stuff out the window.
For starters, it is best for you to retire and temper your fervor, let your emotions spill out. You can cry well.
Or use writing practice: take a piece of paper and start writing whatever you think about it. Write until you feel relieved. This will help you approach the problem more calmly and consciously.
Warn partner that now you need timeto understand where to go next.
In no case do not judge yourself. In treason is always the fault of those who decide to step on the slippery path of intrigue on the side. So do not think that what happened is your fault.
Sit down and talk. No need for mutual recriminations, insults and scandals. When you realize that you are ready for a constructive dialogue, then calmly speak out, tell each other what is in your heart and how you see your future.
If necessary, consult a psychologist. See that you can not cope? A specialist will help you. And there is nothing bad or, especially, ashamed.
A series of consultations (personal or family) will help to understand your emotions and survive the betrayal of your partner.
Agree with a partner. Say that you want to forgive him, but for some time it will be hard for you to trust him. If he is really ready to work on relationships, he will help you get through all of this, or at least make all possible efforts.

What is unforgivable?

In which cases you can not forgive treason?

Treason was long. If a person regularly cheated on you for a month or more, it means that he took this step consciously. That is, this is not just an intrigue of stupidity, namely, a deliberate step. In this case, it is foolish to believe that he will change and will only be with you.
A partner blames you for cheating.. If he, instead of talking to you and trying to jointly solve a problem, gets a lover, then your relationship means nothing to him. In this case, cheating is likely to recur.
If he does not consider it a betrayal. The phrases “I have not changed you, just a lot of beautiful girls and each one is unique,” “It wasn’t treason at all, I just slept with it, without feelings, because I love you!” Or “I’m on a business trip, what to do if you are not around, do not tolerate it now! ”- this is a sign that the partner does not feel guilty. For him, this is normal. If you treason sincerely hurt you, then this is not worth forgiving.
If you understand that you can not continue with this thought to live. Why blame each time, remind and suffer from memories? Neither you nor your partner need this. It is better to honestly admit that you cannot forgive him, even though you love him very much.
No need to make a sacrifice. Indeed, in this case, your relationship will not last long anyway. So is it better to immediately resolve this issue?

It can change both the man and the woman and the reasons for this are possible. But sometimes it makes sense to forgive an intrigueand sometimes you can't do that. Most importantly, be guided by feelings and be honest with yourself.

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