And almost all women are wondering - how is it, if a man really loves? And is the strong sex even able to experience this feeling?
The question may seem strictly philosophical, but far from extensive reasoning will be the answer to it.
Refer to the work of practicing psychologists - many of them not only speak, but also help people to understand themselves, to become happy here and now.
Is there true love?
Of course it does. Moreover - it holds the world.
Love is a stimulus and motivator, though not always happy and mutual.
Yes, many talented things arise as a result of love, doomed to suffering. But do not take it as a rule.
Interestingly, there is no single idea of love. Each person can give his own definition of this feeling. If we approach the explanation of love from the point of view of psychologists, everything is as simple as possible and even a little surprising.
Love is, above all, human response (including the newborn) to the feelings of care, affection, tenderness towards him parents. What does parents have to say here? But with it.
If there is a baby in the family of two loving, adequate, healthy people, they raise him in love and care. And he definitely, without options and compromises, answers the same to them. This is a physiological reaction, if you will, a norm and a given.
If the family is not all smooth, the problems begin and the child. Including with his emotions and the ability to express them correctly, his openness and trust in the world.
The feelings that the child saw between his parents, this is his landmark how to build (or not) build your own relationships in the future.
And then another important point: a healthy person can only love someone who loves him. Controversial - many will say. But it is a fact.. If you love a person who does not respond to you the same, you have problems.
You do not love and do not appreciate yourself (and without this you cannot be happy), you live in captivity of false attitudes, you are infantile, etc.
Once again: unrequited love - the lot of neuroticssuch people need to go to a psychologist and understand why their psyche and nervous system work completely unhealthy.
True love is always reciprocity, caring, respect. From this and push off.
What is true love? Why not everyone finds it? Find out from this video:
Concept
What is love? What does it mean to truly love? Interdisciplinary relationship model develops in childhood. Do not think that psychologists exaggerate and pay a lot of attention to injuries and attitudes of childhood.
Just do not confuse infantilism and unwillingness to be responsible for your life with some problems, which are rooted in childhood.
But the fact that patterns of behavior and building relationships, communication, each person received, when was small, an indisputable fact.
Therefore, the definitions of love are different for everyone.
For someone blasphemous "Beats - it means love" - absolute truth.
And with this problem, with this false installation, a person can spend a lifetime.
Healthy option - this is the understanding of love as an absolute, unconditional acceptance of a person with all its pluses and minuses. Love is when you do not set up conditions for each other.
If your husband’s socks scattered around the house are scary for you, you make comments to him, but nothing changes, you have two scenarios. Either you go to the one who does not scatter socks, or you love your man, regardless of this habit.
By the way, as a rule, a loving person meets your remarks after the first conversation. If you constantly remind him that you are upset or offended, and action zero, perhaps your love is one way. Is it real? No, this is not a healthy relationship.
Do you believe in pure and sincere love? What is true love? The opinion of the priest:
Manifestations and characteristics
To divide the page into columns, in order to write out the real manifestations of love in men in one, and in women in the other, makes no sense.
Love is still a universal feeling. Everything present is simple, clear, unequivocal.
All the complexities of the relationship to love are irrelevant. Understand the simplest thing: love is always expressed by the same thing — the desire to make a loved one happy and to have the same in return.
Everything. Additions are superfluous. If you look for signs of love for you in a person - it is not a priori.
Love is active. If a person insists on crazy love, but does not want to go to work, and in the meantime, you are drawing upon your family, his words have no value.
True feelings visible and they do not need decoding. Yes, a loving person can get angry, hurt - but he always repents and asks for forgiveness.
I love, but make you suffer - it does not happen. True feelings bring happiness, protection, warmth into your life.
How to recognize?
Due to improper installations of a huge number of people on the planet completely distorted concept of love. For example, a woman loves only those who openly ignore her, offend, angry.
She calls such a man a man with character, but she does not need wimps. Why is that?
One explanation of this strange attachment can be considered, again, children's experience: Dad did not spoil the attention of his daughter very much, and every prick of care was perceived as the seed of love, the desired result. The girl grew up and transferred it to relationships with men.
Another interpretation. The woman has low self-esteem, she does not love herself.
Because subconsciously, she considers herself unworthy of true love, she believes that a normal, good man cannot love her, because initially selects unworthy people.
All of these cases do not relate to true love, even if you are “blown away” by the emotions you experience. We can talk about pathologies, the desire to "play", the lack of vivid emotions, but not about true love.
Love brings joy. There is no negative in it. If the relationship is recent, and you already have a lot of tears, do not waste precious time.
As popular says psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky, there are still 3.5 billion people of the opposite sex on Earth, and with one of them you can gain real feelings.
How to recognize true love? Find out from this video:
What are you ready for?
What is man ready for when he truly loves? This is one of the biggest misconceptions - to experience love.
Remember the sad story of Prince Bolkonsky and Natasha Rostova from War and Peace. Stupid convention killed high nascent feeling. To set a condition for a loved one, to check it is danger loss of relationships.
If a person certainly needs proof of love, he It is worth going to a psychologist. Let him deal with his neurosis. He wants games, actions, "dvizhuhi" as they say today, emotions. True love cannot bear such gambling.
If you really love, then the victims do not need. The most important person in the life of everyone is yourself.
If you love yourself, you can love another. If you give up your own values in the name of someone, love is no question.
You can give in the little things perfect yourself but don't break. If the beloved puts you a condition: do not work, stay at home with the children, I decided so. And you can't not work, besides the fact that you are a wife and mother, you are also an excellent teacher, for example!
Such conditions are from the category “it is so convenient for me,” it has nothing to do with the unconditional acceptance of a loved one with his goals, aspirations, and opportunities.
Men's love
Very strange question - can men really love. There is no difference between the sexes. Of course they can.
And if you doubt this, then you may have become attached to a person who does not love you. And to think that someone else will take a place next to you, you do not even want to.
In this aspect, it is often remembered male polygamous.
Men are all the same, they cannot love one woman, this is naturally due, etc. Good excuse, beautiful, biting. But the excuse is the same!
If a man loves himself and respects, if he met a woman he truly loved, he no need to supplement your life with any other emotions with other women. He does not need it, not interested.
Another frequent question: can an alcoholic really love a woman? Alcoholism - This is a mental illness, chemical addiction. Alcoholism always (notice - always) leads to intellectual and physical degradation.
This means that invariably with time, the moral and ethical values that are in the mind of a person will degrade. Alcoholics have a reduced threshold of criticality to themselves and the world.
In short, we can say that the true alcoholic is spiritually disabled person. Can he love?
It depends on the degree of the disease, but every year alcohol abuse a person loses many emotional and moral needs and abilities, including the ability to love.
What is the basis for the love of a problem man? Psychologist's answer:
Proverbs and sayings
There is one interesting parable. One day a teacher learned that one of his students was in love and was seeking his love. He advised him to fall behind the man, because love cannot be demanded.
The pupil was surprised at what the teacher said that when they try to rush through your door, you only lock up.
What did the student ask? The teacher advised him to become a welcome guest, and then you will open the doors for yourself.
Love man sincerely Genuinely, do not try to present yourself more than you are. Neither attract undue attention, but let it be understood - modestly and unobtrusively - that you are there and you are the one who can help.
The flower does not chase the bees, but simply attracts them with its nectar. So love is the nectar that people flock to.
The moral here is simple: love can not be demanded. If this is your man, he will not pass by. Be yourself, show your kindness and human warmth, without obtrusiveness and bravado.
Here you can remember The statements of M. Labkovsky mentioned above:
- Do not look for love from a married man. Do not waste time: you are not looking for meat in a fish store. He does not need a second wife, he is already alone at home.
- Think you want to marry or want to love. These are different things. Married is an attribute, visibility. Love is real, content. If you have a healthy need to love, there will be the person who will reciprocate her.
- If some person replaces you with the whole worldit means you simply do not have your world.
If a man is not ready to start a family and doesn’t demonstrate a serious relationship at all, giving him a chance, you are very likely to lose time. Note your time.
Parable of love:
Does she pass?
Feelings may dry up. People break up, get divorced, gain new happiness.
But this does not mean that they did not like. Relationships are a mechanism that can fail. But it can be repaired if both really want it.
And completely "do not rust" often utopian feelings, memories from the past that we varnish, gloss over, idealize.
The whole horror is that many people live their whole lives with these glossy memories or the illusion of true unfulfilled love. True love is the one that came true for both.
Feelings can be adults, mature. If you are psychologically healthy, you will not run after infantile passions and affections. It is worth understanding that we have one life, and that it makes sense to spend it a happy person, loving and loved.
