"I hate children! I hate! Small, snotty assholes, who can only shout and defecate! They take away the freedom of a woman, her beauty and youth!" In fact, such thoughts are visited by every third woman. However, it is not customary to express such an opinion in society, only on the Internet young and not-so-young girls can anonymously pour out their souls. This is not surprising. The Convention on the Rights of the Child obliges to protect and care for children, to put their interests and well-being above all. But are adults obligated to love their own and others siblings?
Hate my child
“My daughter is already 5 years old, but I couldn’t love her. I play with her, take a walk, have a good time together and make me annoyed. I look forward to the evening when she falls asleep. Only then can I relax and do something myself "
“When a son cries, I want to come up and hit him. I hate when he throws tantrums, demands something, climbs somewhere, constantly spoils my things. He sucked all the good things out of me, I became like a zombie. so as not to strangle
Hearing this from the lips of a woman, most will think that she is asocial or forced to raise a completely alien child, a kind of wicked stepmother. But do not rush to conclusions. Many women periodically experience irritation from their children, and some do not like them at all. Why do they hate them? There can be several reasons:
- Poor relationship with the father of the child, pregnancy after rape. In this case, a woman, willy-nilly, sees the features of the offender in the face of her child.
- Psychological immaturity, not readiness for motherhood. This often happens after the "aerial", especially in adolescence. Mom herself still needs to get up and walk, and instead of freedom, she has to nurse, feed, swaddle her baby day and night.
- Material disadvantage. If a woman has to survive, counting every penny, then she will have little to do with high feelings.
- Fatigue, lack of helpers. Baby care is hard work. And if at the same time a woman has to clean, wash, shop, cook, etc., then chronic fatigue and irritability cannot be avoided.
I hate other people's children
"At the sight of children, it makes me shiver! Why give birth to them? I don’t understand! Few creatures that just do what they eat, shit and yell! I hate when they come to me! I get sick of sleepy wedges with wheelchairs!"
“Some children are mad! Stinky, with smeared snot, they have barely learned to speak, they are already belching mate. Either cats are torn by the tail, or the earth is eaten. They want to kill them. Although I just love my children”
In the first case, the classic unpreparedness for motherhood, for sure the girl has not yet lived enough for herself. The instinct of procreation is not included, and she talks about the children as an obstacle to their own comfort. Closer to 30 years, this setting, as a rule, is changing.
The second case is more complicated. A woman who has no complaints about her children may dislike others for several reasons:
-
someone else's child offends their own child; - his parents are unpleasant to mother;
- the tomboy behaves frankly ill-mannered;
- someone else's child is more successful, developed than your own.
someone else's child offends their own child;What do psychologists say?
From the point of view of psychology, the feeling of hatred towards children is abnormal, contrary to human nature. Such a deviation most often arises from self-dislike. Feeling her worthlessness and lack of fulfillment, the woman (or man) begins to hate herself and those around her.
In most cases, these people themselves in childhood lacked love, warmth and affection and, having matured, they repeat the pattern of behavior of their parents.
Sometimes hatred of children comes from their own excessive egoism, when it seems that the whole world should only revolve around you. In this case, the need to continue the race is perceived as the deprivation of all sorts of benefits. A woman does not see the point of enduring painful childbirth, taking care of the little one, raising and educating him. She wants to live life only "for herself."
Childfree
Translated from English, "childfree" means "free from children." In foreign countries, this is quite a popular subculture, which every year increases its number. For example, in the USA there are more than 40 organizations uniting childfree. The main idea of this movement is voluntary renunciation of parenthood. That is, it is not barren men and women who are forced to be deprived of children. No, it is solely their choice.
Many childfree voluntarily undergo a sterilization procedure. Some of them fiercely hate children, but the majority of aggressive statements only protect their choice from the attacks of "dissenters." Individual adherents of this idea take custody of other children, but they do not have their own.
It is worth noting that, according to statistics, white women and men with a higher education and a fairly high level of income prevail among childfree. Most of these people are in demand in their profession, not inclined to respect traditional gender roles, not religiously, they prefer to live in cities.
Curious experiment
It is precisely because of the high level of education and prosperity of childfree that many of them suggest thoughts about the experiments of J. Calhoun, which were carried out in 1960–70. Their essence was to create an ideal living environment for mice. They did not need food, drink, the possibility of disease was excluded.
At first, an explosion of fertility was noted, but gradually the males ceased to show interest in females and became passive. In females, on the contrary, the aggression, which they often showed to their young, increased markedly. Some refused to bear children. The grown-up children, in turn, were rejected by the mouse society, they had no place in the hierarchy, because the old people began to live longer.
Then came the so-called "beautiful mouse." Due to the lack of wounds from the fights, they looked good, but were only capable of primitive behavior. All day long they just cleaned their wool, ate, drank and slept. "Beautiful" did not enter into conflicts, did not show a desire for childbirth. Over time, the number of pregnancies was reduced to zero, and the population of mice became extinct.
From myself I would like to add that it is not necessary to love and want children. You can remain indifferent, avoid contact, have an abortion. But if the child is already born, or if you feel hate when you look at the children, then the work of a psychologist is rather necessary.
To feed aggression and malice is, first of all, harmful to oneself. In the end, you can reach the boiling point and cripple the child. Agree, it is much better to immediately work out your negative attitudes with a specialist and live “lightly”, in harmony with yourself and the world.
