To develop courage and confidence in one day is impossible. If a person asks a question: how to gain self-confidence - it is impossible to give a definite answer
First you need to understand the root of the problem and only then begin to work on yourself. There are several effective methods that should be carefully studied. Where to get confidence?
What it is?
it complex concept including various spectra of behavioral, intellectual and emotional components.
Confidence in psychology is considered the ability to deal with fears and doubts.
The ability to interact with society, without fear to express their point of view, belief, not to be afraid of criticism.
Experts also understand confidence the ability of a person to take responsibility for their behavior and actions. This property of the individual, its core is a positive assessment of their own abilities.
Confident man - what is he?
Confident people always know what they want to achieveSet themselves high goals and achieve them. They are open, self-sufficient, successful. Feel comfortable in society.
They are not trying to enjoy someone, they do not care about the rest of the opinion about themselves. Such people are guided by internal guidelines. They do not need approval from the outside to start something new.
According to psychologists, self-confident people easier to make important decisions. They do not burden themselves with fears and anxieties, they boldly go forward. There is a study of the world. Such people tend to develop, improve. They find many opportunities for growth and are not afraid of change.
Gestures of a confident person:
What are the reasons for insecurity?
Uncertainty does not occur suddenly. She is formed over the years. The following factors contribute to its appearance:
- Children's installation. In the distant past, people often faced setbacks. As a child, he lost in games, endured the mockery of his peers. Parents could talk about the lack of their children of talent. These attitudes have led to the formation of fear, unrest, suspiciousness.
- The importance of the opinions of others. Some people overestimate the opinion of society, considering that their own formulations are always erroneous. There is a comparison with smarter, talented people. An individual may feel that he will never reach such heights.
- Unsuccessful experience. If at the very beginning of a career, the work was not assessed in the best way, the person was indicated only errors, he will consider himself not smart enough, he will only see flaws. Work in the future they will be evaluated less qualitatively. He will stop believing in himself.
- Family. Imposed opinion of close people. If parents, spouse, children point only to the shortcomings of the person, he begins to withdraw into himself, ceases to see in himself the positive aspects. He undoubtedly trusts close people, so he completely refuses to believe in their wrongness.
- The lack of meaning of life. Some people have not studied themselves, they don’t know what they like and what they don’t. Their meaning of life is not formed. For this reason, the individual can not openly express their positions and views. He is plagued by doubts. He has not decided what is really important for him.
Low self-esteem can be born even from insignificant situations to which a person initially did not attach any importance. Repeated failure only reinforces negative attitudes that are difficult to get rid of later.
Where do the complexes come from?
Complexes do not appear on an empty place. They formed since childhood.
In most cases, parents and grandparents are to blame. Without even noticing, they are laying complexes in children's heads.
For example, a child asked to buy a toy, but it turned out to be expensive. Mom could answer: "She is not for you, too expensive."
Constantly confronted with a refusal, hearing the phrases "not for you," "you did not deserve it," "it will not work for you," lead to the emergence of negative attitudes.
Man begins to perceive himself only from the bad side. When the child grows up, he will think: "This machine is for me", "work is not for me." is he will consider themselves worsethan he really is.
In addition to native people, interaction with society leads to complexes. If one day someone didn’t like a hairstyle or physical data, the person was told this directly and in a rude manner, a negative self-perception will appear.
In the future, a person will look for evidence that he has one or another shortcoming. It will seem to him that he is not as beautiful as the others, or not so clever.
Evaluation of others especially when a person depends on someone else's opinion, the worst way is affecting self-esteem. A person becomes self-contained, ceases to notice his dignity.
The main reasons for the complexes are mockery of others, insults, rudeness. Evil words in relation to the individual, ridiculing certain qualities - a direct path to the creation of complexes.
The reasons for the low self-esteem and self-doubt in this video:
How to increase self-esteem?
How to develop self-confidence? Do not think that self-esteem can not be changedyou have to endure fears and anxieties all your life.
In fact, it is quite possible to increase self-confidence, as well as self-esteem.
Psychologists have developed effective methods that really lead to astounding results.
Pills
How to cultivate self-confidence with medication? There is no pill for confidence. Psychologists say that you can not drink medicine and become confident. This is achieved gradually, by studying yourself.
Although there are no pills to give confidence, there are drugs to relieve anxiety and excessive anxiety:
- valerian extract;
- Motherwort Forte;
- Novo Passit;
- Afobazole;
- Glycine.
They take drugs only after consulting with a specialist, who prescribes the dosage, the duration of treatment.
Will pills help you feel confident? These drugs help a person to become calm and balanced. He does not attend anxiety and irritability. However, to raise self-esteem will have to solve the issue not with the help of pills.
Confidence Building Books
How to believe in yourself? Reading books is one of the best ways to raise self-esteem and build self-confidence.
They help a person solve the problem yourself without the help of experts.
Psychologists recommend to purchase and read the following. books:
- Tony Buzan "Teach yourself to think."
- Anthony Roberts "The secrets of self-confidence."
- Smith Manuel J. "Self-confidence training."
- Klyuchnikov S.Yu. "The Art of Self-Management".
- Andrew Mathews "Happiness is here and now."
- Og Mandino "Choice".
- Vladimir Salamatov "A cure for self-doubt."
- Susan Jeffers "Fear, but act!"
It is important not just to read books, but to analyze new information. It is necessary to think about everything carefully, write out motivating quotes in a notebook and read them every day. It will also help to become more confident.
Movies that raise self-esteem
How to gain self-confidence? Will help to cope with internal fears and experiences movies. It is difficult to select only one. There are a number of motion pictures that form self-confidence:
- "Dangerous minds".
- "Forrest Gump".
- "Good Will Hunting".
- "The Pursuit of Happyness".
- "Peaceful Warrior".
- "The Incredible Life of Walter Mitty."
The main characters of these films anyway faced difficulties condemning others. They did not cease to believe in themselves even in the most difficult moments, thanks to this they came to success.
How to become self-confident? The main component of confidence:
Tips and recommendations of the psychologist
No confidence: what to do in yourself? To overcome the complexes, to become confident, need to listen to the advice of a psychologist:
- It should be aware of their merits. You must understand that in yourself you can find a lot of positive features.
- No need to listen to pessimists, skeptics who say that nothing will come of it. They can't know that. A person is capable of much, if he really wants it. No need to depend on the opinions of others.
- Stop thinking that people only notice flaws. Surroundings notice many virtues, seeking to make friends. Not everyone is critical and negative.
- Need to get rid of perfectionism. Some people are determined to achieve the ideal, do everything possible for this, invest a lot of energy. You should not torture yourself, work too hard to achieve the ideal. He is unreachable. Work on yourself does not hurt for development, but you should not overdo it.
- There is no need to be too modest and clamped. This is sometimes mistaken for pride and arrogance, which makes it difficult to find friends.
If at first it is impossible to achieve the desired result, confidence does not come, it should be portrayed.
When a person will pretend confident and braveover time, he really will be. This is an effective way, which in practice has helped many people.
Exercises for the development of courage
How to become bolder? Psychologists recommend from time to time compliment yourself.
It is better to start from this day, set yourself up in a positive way.
We must praise ourselves for good luck and achievements. Looking in the mirror, you should send yourself a kiss.
Helps to develop courage "Sure breath". To do this, close your eyes, calm down, sit comfortably.
It should be imagined that the air is saturated with confidence and with every breath a person is filled with it. Inspirations can be rhythmic, relaxed, or intense. The rhythm of breathing man chooses. Exercise lasts 3-5 minutes.
Effectively exercise, in which you need on a piece of paper to paint their advantages and achievements. We must think carefully, you can write the answers in the form of a table. This will help to understand yourself, to understand yourself better.
Trainings to learn to behave and speak confidently
How to remove the complexes and love yourself?
For training "Ball" a person will need the help of relatives, friends. You need to stand in a circle, throw each other a ball, or pass around in a circle, saying compliments. This will help open up, stop experiencing anxiety.
Training "Strong-weak". A person is invited to write on a piece of paper the features of a strong and successful person, and then the complete opposite - weak and unlucky. You can portray these people, their gait, behavior.
Training "Life settings". You should think about your desires, goals. Then on a piece of paper to prescribe tips to yourself to achieve them. Every morning, a piece of advice is read.
Positive attitude
Most successful people optimists.
They are smiling, are benevolent. It is pleasant to spend time in their company, to communicate with them.
In order to become confident and successful, you should accustom yourself to positive perception of reality.
Before going out in the morning you should listen to light, fun music. You can read jokes. This will help to cope more easily. In a sullen mood, all the problems seem more daunting than they really are.
Confidence in yourself is quite possible, but this will require the efforts of the person himself. It is necessary to perform special exercises, follow the advice of psychologists, understand yourself. Fears and worries will gradually disappear, formed confidence in themselves and their abilities.
How to overcome self-doubt? 5 ways to regain self-confidence:
