From the point of view of psychology, egoism is not unique negative phenomenon.
In a certain form, it must be present for each person, allowing him to defend his interests without detriment to other members of society.
Definition of egoism
Selfishness - It is a focus on the protection of their own interests and the satisfaction of individual needs, contrary to the interests of other people.
The egoists fully concentrate on satisfying their desires and it does not matter for them what social effect follows.
Such behavior does not make a person happy. The constant desire to obtain the desired makes it tense and nervous.
Possible obstacles to the goal cause irritation and anger. A person does not know how to enjoy life, because he has to constantly cheat, think over steps, manipulate others.
According to psychologists, all egoists are deeply unhappy people who disguise an elementary need for love and care with negative behavior.
They do not have sufficient knowledge of their own personality to understand the internal contradictions and learn to live without the constant pursuit of satisfying your whims.
Two forms of egoism should be distinguished:
- Irrational. This is a negative trait of character that a person himself cannot control. As a result, it poisons life to himself and the people around him.
- Rational. Otherwise, it is called "rational", "healthy" egoism. Unlike the first form, this type of behavior does not have a negative impact on the person. A person realizes the priority of his own interests, but does not oppose them to the interests of other people and society as a whole.
Such a lifestyle is the norm, because it allows you to defend their own rights and at the same time respect other people.
Advantages and disadvantages
Given the existence Rational form of egoism This phenomenon can be viewed both from a negative and from a positive point of view.
pros:
- the ability to defend their position;
- the presence of individual views, values, attitudes;
- the ability to stand out from the gray mass;
- ability to work in leadership positions;
- ability to make decisions;
- lack of constraint and complexion;
- purposefulness;
- ability to influence.
Minuses:
- indifference to other people;
- irritability;
- suspicion;
- cunning;
- propensity to manipulate;
- the habit of showing off;
- heightened self-esteem;
- lack of self-criticism;
- intolerance of people;
- touchiness;
- demonstrative behavior.
Is it good to be selfish?
Being selfish is bad if we talk about selfishness in its purest form. Then the whole life of a person is based solely on meeting their needs without taking into account the interests of other people.
This is the philosophy of the consumer who knows only one word - "I want." It does not matter to him what consequences his actions entail, what price his close people pay for his behavior.
The habit of consistently getting what you want gradually leads to complete loss of friends. Human relations are always built on the principle of compromise - I give you something in return for what I need.
This may be the exchange of material goods, emotions, feelings, guarantees, etc.
For example, a husband cares about his wife and wants to receive reciprocal manifestations of love.
If he will be constantly in response to his care getting complete indifference then gradually the desire to take care will be replaced by resentment and irritation.
As a result, the relationship will collapse. Such a law applies in all areas of the relationship between people.
The egoists themselves destroy their lives because of unwillingness to reckon with the interests of others, due to the inability to sort out their internal problems.
Ultimately can be observed absolute unfortunate persontorn by contradictions, which makes unhappy and all their loved ones.
The picture is quite different when selfishness has a healthy form. The individual is aware that his interests are of the highest value to him. At the same time, he does not satisfy his desires at the expense of neglecting the interests of other people.
Any action is performed from the position of obtaining the desired result, but with an eye to the existing principles of morality and ethics.
If the achievement of a goal can lead to causing damage to other people, then the person finds ways to resolve the situation without harming other people.
He can in that case completely give up your desires, to postpone the decision of the question to another time, to rethink the situation, otherwise to prioritize, etc.
That is, the individual shows the flexibility of thinking, respect for the laws of social life, but at the same time he always remembers his individual interests.
Similar behavior characteristic of mature individualswho are aware of their social responsibility.
Such people are able to find compromises and build harmonious relations with others. without losing a sense of self worth.
At the same time, this behavior quite often brings tangible material fruits - self-respecting people achieve high social status, professional recognition. They have extensive social contacts, as people gladly enter into relationships with them.
Such rational egoism can extend not only to oneself, but also to close people. For example, concern for the well-being of one’s own children is also a kind of egoism. But it is logical and rational, if it does not violate the interests of other people.
Without a healthy selfishness of people, society would not exist. All the achievements of mankind are based on the desire of people to meet their needs, to achieve their goals.
The selfish desire to live well makes you move forward and do things. Such a positive phenomenon as altruismcould not have arisen without initial egoism.
To take care of the weak, you need stand upright.
Only by satisfying his own interests, a person becomes able to help other people.
In this way, think about yourself - that's not bad.
This is an absolutely natural trait inherent in any sensible person. It is important in this love of self not to forget about the interests of other people, observing a certain balance.
Psychology tips
How to become selfish or selfish? Some people because self-doubt, gentle nature, natural kindness They are unable to take care of their interests to the extent necessary. Making a habit of thinking about yourself is not that difficult.
Psychologists advise both men and women to adhere to the following rules:
- Do not resist your nature. Do not feel ashamed of the desire to satisfy their interests.
If this does not go against the moral and moral values of society, with the interests of other people, then there is no crime in achieving the desired goals.
Taking care of yourself is not overkill. This is a natural character trait, which in modern society becomes a very important condition for survival. A non-self-respecting person who easily gives up his life attitudes is easy prey for manipulators.
- Do not pursue false goals. A person neglecting self-care can easily make a mistake in choosing life goals. Such people often live according to the scenario set by their parents, spouses. Without realizing their own real desires, they constantly do what they don’t want. As a result, you can live your life with an unloved spouse, do not your business for years, etc.
- Raise self-esteem. Reasonable egoism is peculiar only to those individuals who know their own worth. Uncertainty may be associated with children's experiences, problems in his personal life, features of appearance, etc. Each person has a certain value. It is important to recognize those individual traits that you can be proud of and develop them. Playing sports, getting new skills, taking care of your appearance, acquiring new friends, looking for interesting hobbies - all this increases self-esteem, because it allows you to see your abilities.
- Filter the environment. Nothing affects the psychological state of a person so negatively as the wrong environment.
If there are people nearby who constantly criticize any step and thus undermine self-confidence, they should be eliminated.
Even parents can be a source of serious complexes and failures in life. Reasonable egoism involves the organization of a harmonious living space in which there will be no place for external stimuli.
- Defend your interests. Aware of their true desires, it is necessary to make every effort to fulfill them. Often people do not achieve their goals, for fear of creating a conflict situation. As a result, they are reconciled with the existing state of things, which they can absolutely not arrange only from the desire to preserve the appearance of the world. At the same time, the situation should be objectively assessed. For example, it is not always rational to defend one’s point of view at work in front of the bosses. Also, it makes no sense to try to change the existing official order or act against the norms of the law.
- Please yourself. Our life consists of many moments.
Self-love is manifested not only in achieving global goals, but also in pleasant things.
To allow yourself a piece of chocolate during a strict diet, to arrange an unplanned day off, to go to the sea for a couple of days - all these small joys are a pleasure.
How not to overdo it?
Inspired by taking care of yourself, you can easily cross the line between healthy egoism and self-centeredness. In the second case, instead of a self-confident person with stable life principles, there will be a negative personality, prone to excessive self-love.
Conscious selfish - this is a person with a free personality.
His personal principles do not go against social norms, but successfully exist with them.
The problem occurs when an individual, when he reaches his goals, begins to change his principles, to cheat, to manipulate people. is he becomes a slave to his desires, refusing for the sake of their achievement from their own value settings.
Having noticed a similar problem, you should try to look at yourself objectively. It is necessary to increase the degree of self-control, do not allow yourself to be too carried away with the achievement of goals.
We need to begin to focus more on other people: listen to them, help them, do good deeds.
In this way, healthy egoism must be present in any person. Following the advice of psychologists, you can gradually develop the ability to take care of their interests.
How to become an egoist to achieve your goals? Find out from the video:
