The ability to easily establish contact with people through communication is important qualitywhich allows you to advance in terms of a career, quickly solve current problems, easily build personal relationships and use human resources effectively in all senses.
Sociability - what is it in psychology?
Sociability - is the ability of a person to interact with other members of society, the tendency to establish and develop relationships on a personal level.
The concept of "sociability" is opposed to the concept "Closed", and sometimes compare these two qualities in a proportional ratio.
Sociable person: what is he?
Sociable person, as a rule successful in society. In order to make contact, he does not need an external stimulus or “first steps” from the interlocutor. After all, sociable people themselves stimulate others to interact.
With such a person it is easy to find a common topic, he skillfully supports the conversation and unites people around him, acting as a social leader and initiator of interpersonal activity.
Sociable person is in contact with others because he wants do it. And such an individual prefers communication to all other types of pastime.
From here comes lightness and easeAfter all, conversation brings pleasure, but not a necessary necessity.
In this case, a person may be limited to superficial communication, without revealing to the interlocutor and not too delving into his problems / feelings / experiences.
Most often sociable people do not need deep and meaningful conversationsAfter all, such conversations imply “going into oneself” and working with emotions.
And this is not the most attractive prospect for an individual whose attention is directed to the outside world.
Sociability can be confused with sociability, but these are different concepts.
If in the first case, the incentive for entering into an interaction is desire and net benefit (pleasure from interpersonal contact), then in the second case, it’s rather a matter of find access to other people in order to obtain side benefits (for example, entering into a contract with a partner or teaching a new skill through the advice of an interlocutor)
What does it mean to be able to communicate well?
Communication is difficult processconsisting of a set of verbal and non-verbal means.
The ability not only to speak, to break the ringing and awkward silence, but also the ability to interact, develop conversation and delve into the subject, while feeling the opponent's mood.
Full communication must meet three requirements.:
- mindfulness;
- openness;
- susceptibility to feedback.
A sufficiently high degree of awareness provides continuation of the conversation.
After all, a conscious person, receiving a question or answer, passes it through himself, immediately forming an attitude or opinion on this topic.
An unconscious person will be confused, trying to respond with the "right", and not naturally.
Openness erases boundaries and prohibitions. My head no longer thinks that it is better to talk with colleagues about work, and with a former classmate about school mischief. Any communication (regardless of form) is perceived positively.
Susceptibility to feedback indicates that the individual does not just happen to his interlocutor, but also reads non-verbal signs (intonation, facial expressions, gestures, postures, etc.).
All these nuances in the aggregate help direct communication in the right direction, open or change the subject, if necessary, smoothly flowing from one information about to another.
Submission of information
To win over the interlocutor, it is necessary skillfully formulate your thoughts, speak clearly and use body language.
Otherwise, the listener simply does not understand what information they want to convey to him.
As a result, he will perceive what has been said as informational garbage, and then he hastens to end the conversation.
The reasons for the inability to communicate and diagnosis
Absolute inability to communicate normally is it a diagnosis with people? It is necessary to understand the difference between reluctance and inability to communicate.
If a person is an introvert and loneliness brings him pleasure, you should not look for a catch or a problem in this.
Not all people are oriented towards society. But if necessary, introverts can productively interact with others, even without receiving positive emotions in the process.
But if a person experiences discomfort from the fact that attempts to establish contact with others fail, then the problem really exists. Communication difficulties may have a different nature.:
- prolonged loneliness due to various circumstances and the resulting “social degradation”;
- lack of experience in creating social connections in childhood (the child was an outcast, grew up in isolation, parents limited his contacts with friends, etc.);
- emotional trauma;
- sustainable complexes.
If, for such reasons, a person is absolutely unable to interact with others, seek help from a specialist (psychologist).
But we are talking about serious difficulties when an individual is not able to respond even to an external stimulus. At the same time, he can withdraw into himself, avoid answering, avoid crowded places, etc.
If a person is able to enter into a conversation and maintain a conversation, but at the same time does not consider himself a brilliant conversationalist, the skill of communication can be improved.
Why am I not able or have forgotten how to communicate with people? If previously a person wore the title of "soul of the company", but now it lives alone and cannot make friends, it is necessary to identify the reasons.
Reconstruction worldview
At such moments, the personality hangs between the "new" and "old" worldview. Man refuses interests changes life guides and forms a value system.
He does not feel confident in his position and therefore cannot offer the interlocutor the most important thing - personal opinion. Doubts make it difficult to keep up the conversation. Disappointment in one's own hobbies / interests and the lack of new leads to the fact that any dialogue quickly “fades away”.
This is a normal condition. You need to give yourself time to rebuild and rebuild. When the world again flashes bright colors, the need to share feelings with others will return.
Satiety
It also happens that a person gets fed up with communication and society.
The desire to interact with people disappears. for a long time.
Forcing yourself to play the role of the "star of the party" is meaningless, as this will aggravate the situation. It is best to take a break from society and experience informational / social hunger.
Complexes
Very often, making contact with people is hampered by complexes. At the same time complexes can be either "chronic" or acquired.
Teased in class because of tall? The girl too often focused attention on the imperfect smile and lack of knowledge? The guy mocked the extra pounds and mundane profession?
As a result, self-doubt and fear of the interlocutor's ridicule prevent you from relaxing and enjoying interaction. One way out is to work on accepting yourself.
Consumption of information trash
This the problem is relevant for the modern young generation.
Active surfing in social networks, increased attention to the lives of bloggers, chatting and so on. Replace real communication.
As a result, a person is not only sated, but also gets used to a certain presentation of information. Impersonal correspondence deprive the practice of verbal communication.
Passive observation of opinion leaders (bloggers) teaches to perceive information unilaterallywithout taking initiative in communication.
By identifying the true cause of communication difficulties, you can solve the problem.
Psychological advice and practical recommendations
How to be sociable:
- How to learn to communicate easily and freely with people?
The practice best develops the skill of communication. The fear of refusal and / or conviction disappears, susceptibility to non-verbal signals develops.
A person discovers the benefits of communication and develops certain patterns of behavior that in the future will be able to successfully apply in similar situations.
- How to become more open, sociable and interesting person? First of all, you need to abstract from the negative and try to look at the world with a positive look. People who discuss only problems, complain about life and condemn others, can not claim the status of an easy and interesting conversationalist.
It is also necessary during the dialogue to try to hear and understand the interlocutor, try to open it and correctly decipher the signals. This can be turned into an interesting game that will make you love communication. Well, the love of communication will grow into lightness and openness. Rejection of the estimated perception of reality will also help to become more open to human communication. - How to become talkative, fun and sociable? Interaction requires at least awareness of common topics and erudition. Expanding your horizons, you can make progress in the ability to build relationships with others. If a person has his own opinion, knowledge base and relevant information, he automatically becomes a pleasant conversationalist.
It is also necessary during the dialogue to try to hear and understand the interlocutor, try to open it and correctly decipher the signals. This can be turned into an interesting game that will make you love communication. Well, the love of communication will grow into lightness and openness. Rejection of the estimated perception of reality will also help to become more open to human communication.Exercises
How to learn to communicate with people:
- Smile. Love it and remember this facial expression, as well as emotions associated with a smile. Then, while maintaining a neutral facial expression, reproduce these sensations in your head.
Such a simple exercise helps to “subjugate” your mood and, if necessary, quickly adjust to a positive wave.
- Listener. Very often in a dialogue a person just waits for his turn to speak, not listening to the interlocutor. As a result, the conversation thread is lost, the opponent feels indifference and disrespect for his own person.
Therefore, it is important to start listening. The first time you can put yourself "assessment" for how well you have learned the material (understand the message of the interlocutor). Then sensitivity and attention to other people's words will become a habit. - Training. Try to start a dialogue every time you find yourself in a crowded place. This may be a queue at the store, a crowd of people at a concert, a company at a nearby cafe table. You can clarify the time, ask the right direction, ask where this or that thing was bought.
Such a small practice will help get rid of the complexes and relax, to overcome internal barriers.
Therefore, it is important to start listening. The first time you can put yourself "assessment" for how well you have learned the material (understand the message of the interlocutor). Then sensitivity and attention to other people's words will become a habit.Developing communication skills a person makes a significant contribution to their future. After all, people are first of all social beings, and productive interaction is necessary to achieve the set goals and objectives.
To learn how to become a master of communication, you can learn from the video:
