Love has been studied for more than one hundred years. Poets, writers dedicated their works to him, doctors, scientists, sociologists have conducted and are still conducting research, developing tests.
Study kinds of love and in psychology, which allowed the development of successful therapies.
Concept and properties
Love difficult to describe concept, it is expressed in each person in his own way.
This is a feeling of deep attachment to a person, a desire to be near him.
Often, true love is confused with falling in love, mania, and emotional dependence on a specific individual.
When a man is in love, he idealizes the other side. The object seems attractive, interesting, bright, kind. Negative personality traits are almost invisible or they do not attach much importance.
Often this becomes the cause of deep problems, depending on the person.
Love, like other psychological phenomena, has properties:
- Selectivity. It is believed that a person falls more in love with someone who embodies a certain ideal. However, this property does not describe why people often fall in love with deceitful, aggressive individuals who can only bring suffering.
- Multidimensionality. The ability to feel another person, merge with him emotionally, and at the same time receive some reward for yourself.
- External and internal aspect. Love is experienced, combined with many other emotions and physiological manifestations. And at the same time, it is expressed outwardly - actions, words, deeds.
- Self-realization. Love gives the personality to feel its irreplaceability, need.
- freedom. You can not force to love, it is a choice of personality. At the same time, this feeling is necessary for man.
- A unique side of life. It is difficult to replace it with something else, it opens up a new world, bright and unique. Anyone who has ever experienced love will not forget this feeling.
- Happiness. The main property of love is to give a person happiness, create harmony inside and next to him.
- Increases immunity. Here we are talking only about positive types, where there is care, tenderness, reciprocity.
Love is what allows you to create and save a family.
However, there are several types of this feeling, and not all of them are able to bring joy. Therefore, we must learn to recognize true love from imaginary.
Classification
What kinds of love exist? Different researchers introduce their classification of love. The following five types are traditionally distinguished and researched:
- Erotic. Differently called passion. It is characterized by high intensity, desire to possess, the requirement of physical proximity.
- Hedonic. Love is a game. Here there is flirting, flirting, attracting a partner. The identity of the second party is irrelevant, the relationship is characterized by superficiality. In such pairs, treason is not uncommon, an easy change of partner. The separation is easy, traumatic experiences, as a rule, are absent.
- Love. Calm, deep feeling. There is empathy, mutual aid, respect, equality.
- Pragmatic. In this form comes to the fore benefits, practical benefits, including material. Feelings are shallow, partners are rather companions, associates in a common cause. As soon as the source of wealth disappears, a new source is searched.
- Disinterested. It has a high degree of commitment, altruism. There is no equality, as a rule, one side allows you to use yourself. Selfless love leads to a decrease in return on the other hand.
- Mania. Obsession, the desire to fully own a partner. There is jealousy, often total control. Mania can be dangerous and lead to sad consequences.
If disappointment comes, then the image of the partner from “idol” changes to “insignificance”.
Based on this, psychologists can predict individual behavior and find the most successful way of therapy.
Varieties in Philosophy
Philosophy also studied love. This made it possible to single out the classification and better understand the origin and development of this feeling.
- Agape. Classic love. It combines the heart and mind, is present willpower. Main components: self-sacrifice, dedication, loyalty. Agape is typical for strong and mature personalities; it can take many years to reach this state. This kind of philosopher Aristotle considered love to be the truth.
- Filia. Friendship arises gradually, personal qualities of a person are important, mind is present. Feelings are calm, deep. There is mutual respect and support.
- Storge. Kindred love Arises in happy families. There is tenderness, guardianship, support. Family members are accepted as they are, with their strengths, weaknesses, needs, interests. This kind of maternal love.
- Eros. Flash, passion. Mind has no power, only emotions are present. Feelings arise suddenly, they are difficult to control. The person does not notice the flaws in the object of adoration. Love is impermanent - it is fading away, then flares up with a new force, which exhausts the person himself.
Such love can give a lot of positive moments, a feeling of happiness, but it can also cause deep suffering if it is not mutual or, having been frightened, the partner prefers to leave.
In Greek philosophy These four species are major. However, three more species were identified, which should also be noted:
- Pragma. There is a calculation. One example is partnership marriages. An alliance can be for mutual gain, for example, to merge companies or improve their well-being.
- Mania. Love, based on jealousy and desire to fully possess a partner. Often accompanied by aggression.
- Ludus. In this kind of love there is only sexual attraction. Personal characteristics of the second hand, emotions do not matter.
In philosophy, there are other types of love: maternal, fraternal, love of self, God, and friendship.
Soloviev identifies three types:
- downward. In this case, love gives. One example is the feelings of a mother towards a child;
- ascending. This is the love that receives;
- lovewhere there are two kinds of relationships: give and receive. To this type can be attributed feelings between spouses.
Philosophers succeeded quite well explore the phenomenon of lovethat reflected further on the theories of psychology.
What love can there be? Types of love according to the teachings of Plato:
Types in psychology
Psychologists, studying the phenomenon of feelings, offer various classifications of love.
One of the famous belongs Robert Stenberg:
- Affection. Feelings that are felt to a friend. There is no passion, strong emotions, obligations.
- Passionate love. At the core is physiology, desire. Arises suddenly. There is no interest in the identity of the partner, sexual desire - the main point.
- Formal. Based primarily on a sense of duty.
- Romantic. There is romance and physical attraction here.
- Friendly. It differs from the first type of the presence of certain obligations to another person.
- Perfect. There is romance, physical intimacy and responsibility.
Psychologists distinguish other species. This makes it easier to find work methods when you need to recover from a negative dependence, to better understand yourself and your partner:
- Healthy and sick. Separate them easily. With a healthy version, there is happiness, comfort, joy.
In the case of sick love, there are mostly negative emotions, no matter if there is a partner nearby or not.
- Love is a gift. In this case, there is a principle: I - you, you - me. Gift giving is voluntary, this is the sincere desire of the partner.
- Love deal. It is similar to the previous view, but there is no such disinterestedness as in giving.
- Love want. In this case, there is a desire to receive: warmth, affection, attention without the ability and actions to give something.
- Love-gift the opposite is "want." In this case, the main desire - to create comfort, love, care, worry.
- Love is the reaction. Appears in response to the actions of man, may arise unconsciously.
- Love decision. Conscious choice, commitment. It is expressed not only in emotions, but also in action.
- Right and wrong. With the right person first of all wants to take care of the partner. In the second type - only receive.
A person is not always able to independently assess the level and type of his love. Therefore, if the soul discomfort, strong experiences, then the best way out - to visit a psychologist who will help create a balance in the inner world.
In literature
The feeling of love is one of the central in many literary works. Description of it allows the reader to empathize with the heroes, more immersed in the story.
- Filia Spiritual intimacy. Most pronounced, if present in both partners. One example of physics is Maria and Pierre Cure. They had a deep mutual understanding and common cause;
- Agape She was glorified by poets and writers. The brightest, enthusiastic and pure feeling. One of the images is Manilov in N. Gogol's novel Dead Souls;
- Mania. Blind, emotional feeling. We can see him in the work “Anna Karenina” between Anna and Vronsky;
- Strict. Tenderness, search for harmony in relationships, mutual understanding. An example is Natasha Rostov from the novel "War and Peace";
- Pragma The search for practicality, comfort, benefits. Such a feeling was experienced by the hero "War and Peace" Pierre Bezukhov;
- Analyte. This feeling manifests coldness and demands. Initially, the partner is endowed with the desired qualities, but over time the illusion subsides, and love cools. Example is love Prince Bolkonsky to the daughter of Mary;
- Victoria Physical love, can be combined with other types. An example is Don Juan.
About 5 types of love in this video:
Real feeling - what is it?
In connection with the multifaceted understanding of feelings, the question arises - what is true love? How to determine its presence in yourself or another person?
Each person loves in his own way, but still we must distinguish imaginary loveto which the addiction relates, and true.
Imaginary love, addiction depletes the nervous system, is the cause of deep negative and tragic experiences. A person reaches out to a partner, but at the same time, next to him is bad.
Such duality leads to deep problems of the individual, it often becomes cause of dangerous actions and autoaggression. Love addiction requires long therapy.
True love is different. This is harmony, in relationships, in the soul. It is warm and tender. Partners not only give, but also take.
True love - it is the understanding that the other person is free, the ability to let go, not to impose, not to demand. True love brings happiness and tranquility to both partners.
A person has awareness, and therefore, for personal happiness, he can learn to control his emotions. Love is a wonderful feeling, and it should bring joy and harmony.
12 signs that you have found true love: