Modern women continue to dream of a beautiful wedding, and this despite the emancipation and spread of feminism. That's just to be a happy bride is not so easy as it seems. How to get married in the modern world, and why is this task just too tough for some ladies?
Why men do not want to marry
For once in every life, every woman wondered why her partner did not want to marry. Psychologists explain this in different ways: someone insists on infantilism, someone even asserts that the representative of the stronger sex is naturally not capable of monogamy, therefore the very prospect of concluding a union scares him.
In order to understand how to get married, you need to know the main causes of men's unwillingness to marry. What can it be connected with?
- Many modern men are afraid of responsibility, which implies the entry into the official union.
- They may not be satisfied with the pressure exerted by a woman who wants to quickly be at the altar.
- To embarrass a man may his precarious financial situation, which not only interferes with providing for his family and children, but also becomes an obstacle to the celebration of a dream.
- Often, representatives of the stronger sex up to 30 are unwilling to get married, believing that the official union gives rise to only complete restrictions on their libido.
- A modern man can oppose marriage for ideological reasons, considering the institution of the family a dead authority.
The world is changing, and therefore the modern man does not need to formalize his relationship officially in order to achieve sex with her partner and an elementary division of household duties. Often, even the birth of a common child does not become an incentive for entering into a marriage union.
Many psychologists are confident that women, who are trying in every way to learn how to get married, contribute to the unwillingness of partners to settle down. Ladies are so annoying men with their wedding dreams that they simply do not want to go down the aisle.
Men's principles can be associated with an elementary rejection of the institution of marriage, as such. Why make an official union, spend a lot of money for a wedding, if you can live together without a stamp in your passport? Many men ask such a question, and it is he who prevents the majority of ladies from knowing the joy of wedding troubles.
How to convince a man to marry: effective ways
Trying to find out how to get married, the girl should forget about the excessive pressure on her partner. Otherwise, instead of a beautiful ceremony, the girl will receive emotional wounds and parting with her lover in the bargain. Psychologists emphasize that men are naturally more prone to independence, so there is no need to put pressure on them.
Are there real ways to convince a partner of the need for marriage? Here are just some of them:
- a woman should talk to her lover, emphasize that she wants to marry, but not put a rigid time frame to her partner;
- it is necessary to impose certain restrictions in the relationship, for example, not to acquaint the partner with the parents until a marriage proposal is made;
- a lady should talk all the time about how happy she is in relationships, what she wants to have from her beloved children and spend the rest of her days with him;
- it is worth occasionally awakening jealousy in her beloved, emphasizing that as long as the girl is not married, other men will look after her;
- you need to surround yourself with friends who have already managed to join an official union, since communication with such couples will positively influence the attitude of a man towards marriage.
How to marry a beloved man, if he hesitates with the proposal? To begin with, you should make a few hints to your indecisive man. For example, you can spend more time with friends or occasionally come home with bouquets of flowers from fans. A man should understand that as long as the girl is not married, she can leave at any time, and she has the right to have third-party entertainment. The official union is a guarantee of long-lasting relationships not only for a woman, but also for a man. The partner must understand that a relationship based on love, sooner or later must end the wedding, otherwise they will fade.
If subtle hints and jealousy do not work, you can resort to a frank conversation. Psychologists in such a situation are advised to ask a man a single question: "How does he see his life in 5, 10 years." Usually, the representatives of the stronger sex talk about their careers, about their financial situation. However, the girl is not interested in this, but in the place prepared for her in future plans. If a man says that after 10 years he will have children, and the couple will be able to buy a new house, it means that in his future there is a place for quiet family happiness. The man is already ripe for the conclusion of an official union, and it remains only to slightly push him to the proposal of a hand and heart.
If the girlfriend’s plans do not mention the girl and their future happiness, it is worth describing how important the real family is for the lady herself. People need to understand that they are on the same road, that they have the same outlook on the future, otherwise the relationship itself will be a meaningless waste of time.
Bad attempt: how not to encourage a man to marry
Sometimes a lady is simply obsessed with the question of how to find a life partner and marry him, and for the sake of his decision she is ready to do almost anything. What methods are better not to use to stimulate your partner?
- No need to try to specifically become pregnant to persuade a man to the need for a union. Even 10 children will not keep in the family of the man who is unhappy.
- You should not constantly put pressure on your partner, openly telling him how you want to get married.
- Set a tight timeframe partner, too, should not be. No man will be delighted with the fact that he needs to make an offer within a month, otherwise the relationship will end.
- You should not deceive the guy to marry.
- Manipulations with the help of sex and pity are also unlikely to lead to the desired result.
Many women believe that a modern man can be dragged to the registry office only after the news of pregnancy. But psychologists advise not to make an artificial reason for a wedding out of a child. Of course, it happens that the partners suddenly find out about the imminent arrival of the baby and are forced to hurry with the wedding. However, both the bride and the groom must be prepared to say yes. The lack of elementary psychological readiness will lead to the fact that the so-called "marriage on a fly" will disintegrate within 2-3 years.
In no case it is impossible to resolve the issue of marriage through regular pressure on the partner. Constant prayers, tantrums and talks about the wedding will not bring to good: most likely, instead of a chic ceremony, the girl will receive the news of the break.
Psychologists emphasize that modern men strive for independence almost from birth. Therefore, the idea of the need to conclude an official union they need to instill carefully, without undue pressure.
Psychological readiness to create a family
How to get married to be happy is one of the most popular issues that bothers both men and women. Many ladies do not even think that it is not enough to conclude a union of one desire. Here it is important to gain complete mutual understanding in relationships, to test their strength, to make sure that the right person, the one and only, is located nearby.
Psychologists cannot unambiguously answer when the perfect match for marriage comes. Some couples are ready for this in 2-3 months after they meet, while others need 5-6 years. It's not about emotional immaturity, but rather about the relationship itself. Sometimes only after going through a few partings and hardships, people realize that they cannot do without each other.
Sometimes the dilemma about how to get married and completely fades into the background. A woman just enjoys communication with a young man, joint leisure, plans for life. As a result, the relationship goes to the same level when you just need to take a step towards many years of happiness.
Psychologists have long proved that relationships must develop, move towards something and strive, otherwise they will collapse. After the initial euphoria of love, the partners come to the need to live together, and a little later they have a desire to share not only the bed, but also the family budget. A little later, there is a mutual desire to get married, have children, spend the rest of the days together.
And even the happiest marriages sometimes turn out to be short-lived. People tend to lose interest in each other, but this does not mean that the institution of marriage will perish irretrievably. There are couples who manage to live together for decades without a formal marriage. However, a stamp in the passport is not so much a limitation as a guarantee of loyalty and devotion to the beloved. Only by entering into such a union, people manage to fully understand the weaknesses and merits of each other. However, before insisting on a wedding, a woman should think about what she really wants: a beautiful ceremony or long years with this person. If relationships give pleasure to both partners, then the official bond of feelings will become a natural stage in the life of lovers.
Sooner or later, the thought of the need for marriage will creep into the man’s head. The task of the woman is to push the partner, to encourage him to make this decision as soon as possible, while avoiding excessive pressure on the male ego.