How to stop jealous husband

Women's jealousy - a terrible, destructive force. She eats from within, pushes on unthinkable acts, destroying trust in a relationship. Everybody suffers - a jealous wife, husband, as well as friends, children and loved ones, who often become not only unwitting witnesses, but also participants in the drama. So that the family does not collapse, it is finally important to get rid of this painful feeling, but how to stop being jealous of your husband?

Where does jealousy come from?

All people are different, some are jealous, others are not. Why is that? Some people think that jealousy is an integral part of love. However, the problem is much more serious and deeper.

In English, jealousy is designated by the words "jaundice" and "jealousy". It is curious that they are also translated as "envy", "suspiciousness", "ill-will". In fact, feelings of envy and jealousy are very similar to each other. An envious person, as well as a jealous man, feels deprived. The only difference is that envy is often caused by a lack of a material plan, and jealousy is a lack of attention and feelings.

Psychologists say that successful, self-sufficient women are not inclined to be jealous of their partner. This feeling is more typical for people with unstable self-esteem, insecure, dependent on others. Possession of jealousy and the following personality features:

• the complexes connected with appearance (the ugly person, excess weight);
• psychotrauma suffered in childhood (parental divorce, lack of love and adoption in the family);
• negative experience of cheating on the part of men;
• heightened sense of ownership;
• increased anxiety, fear of rejection;
• psychological type of "victim".

Sometimes jealousy in women does not occur from scratch. New passwords, locked phone, delays at work may indicate a betrayal of her husband. But the problem is that pathological jealous people are not able to assess the situation objectively. A woman can make a scandal, if her husband did not look like that, he came home 5 minutes later, was too tired and did not want sex.

Reason for jealousy

Men admit that constant baseless jealousy makes you really think about treason. Unfair accusations, scandals and tantrums exhaust, destroy relationships. To avoid this, it is important to learn how to control your feelings. A woman should distinguish between what is the fruit of her rich imagination and what is really a sign of infidelity.

When there are reasons for jealousy:

1. The husband often lingers at work, goes on business trips. When checking it turns out that he is lying.
2. He suddenly begins to disturb his own appearance. He watches himself more carefully, regularly shaves, pours toilet water, polishes his shoes before leaving. Buying new clothes, the husband is not interested in your opinion, frankly "young", changes style.
3. Husband hides or blocks the phone, deletes SMS, goes to talk to another room, they call him late at night.
4. Sexual preferences change. An unfaithful husband may show coldness, refuse sex, or, conversely, a strong passion awakens in him, he is experimenting with new postures.
5. The husband has become unusually affectionate, or unreasonably rude, annoyed. Some men, feeling guilty because of adultery, are trying to smooth it in every possible way - they suddenly start giving flowers, gifts, surround with attention and care. With emotional attachment to a mistress, the attitude to his wife often changes with the exact opposite - there is constant resentment, rudeness, rudeness, and even aggression.

In this case, the woman’s jealousy will be quite expected and justified. But then again, nothing good will bring it. It is important to speak frankly with her husband, to dot the i's. It is necessary to confirm or deny the fact of treason, and then work on yourself and the relationship further.

When you are not jealous

Jealousy is a feeling in itself negative, painful, but even worse when it arises from scratch. “Your friends are immoral, they are pushing you to commit adultery,” “you visit your mother too often, she wants to separate us,” “I saw how you looked at her, probably you dream of getting under her skirt”, “you are ready to sleep at work just not to see me. " Such allegations are imbued with insecurity, self-pity. A woman most often understands that her husband did not cheat on her, but she does not cease being jealous of it.

Top 7 reasons for unfounded jealousy:

• time-consuming work;
• single friends;
• past life, "former";
• parent family;
• film actresses, singers, TV star;
• hobby, hobby, hobby;
• children from a past marriage (and sometimes their own).

It turns out that a woman is jealous of all those who, one way or another, have received attention from her husband. She feels offended, offended, does everything to switch her precious attention to herself. Consciously or not, she seeks to control the man, to subordinate his will to herself.

What to do?

How to stop being jealous of her husband? The first step you have already taken is that you have recognized the problem and found out its cause. Now comes the hard part. It is necessary to work on your personality, change your attitude towards yourself, learn to trust your man. Of course, such a deep work is best done in conjunction with a psychologist. But something can be done independently.

1. Ask yourself the questions: why am I jealous? What gives me this feeling? Do I want to test it again and again? Often the jealous person revels in self-pity, enters the role of the victim when he is one good, and the partner to whom he is jealous is bad.
2. Give your husband more freedom. Stop controlling him, understand that this will not save you from treason.
3. Learn to attract attention in other positive ways. Prepare an interesting surprise for your husband, bake your favorite cake, put on sexy underwear, just praise.
4. Try not to compare yourself with other people. Every person is an individual. In the end, it’s not for nothing that the husband called for you.
5. Get rid of the complexes. Sign up at the gym, repaint your hair, change your hairstyle, go to a rejuvenating procedure.
6. Find yourself a hobby. You have to be passionate about something, then there will be no time for bad thoughts. This may be drawing, knitting, embroidery, dance circle. You can start baking cakes to order, sewing clothes, writing a novel or a collection of poems.
7. Be honest with yourself and your husband. Talk openly with him, tell about the internal struggle, honestly tell me what you are missing. Do not be shy of your feelings and thoughts, learn to talk about them directly, without using manipulations with jealousy.

Advice from the author. Once upon a time there was a girl Sophia, she was a wonderful wife, but only a little bit unhappy. All day long she was jealous of her husband for work, offended by her friend for not inviting shopping with her. The children seemed to like her father more, and even the cat Vasily often ran away from her. She suffered and felt unnecessary. All life.

And in the neighborhood lived Marya. Everything in her life was going on - her husband worked a lot, provided his family with everything necessary. Children do not like it in general. And they had a cat - a fluffy pet of the family, although he is still picky. Marya lived a long and happy life.

It would seem that two different stories, but in reality they are only distinguished by the perception of reality. We are what we want to be. Do not look for excuses, just look at the situation from the other side. Find the reasons for happiness and finally become happy.

All people experience jealousy to one degree or another. The main thing is not to overstep the bounds and not to go with your emotions on the occasion. "Jealousy always looks into a telescope that makes small objects large, dwarfs - giants, suspicions - with truths," Miguel Cervantes.

Watch the video: How To Stop Being Jealous - 5 Ways To Stop Jealousy NOW (November 2024).