There are moments when your child from a little angel turns into a fiend of hell. Each parent is familiar with situations in which it is difficult to suppress the desire to leave a screaming offspring in a supermarket or to throw out all the toys in the window that he does not want to put in place.
A child misbehaves: how to act?
Consider the most common examples of children's disobedience and the best ways to solve these situations.
1. "Mom! Buy it!"
A child in a public place begins to loudly demand to buy him something, for example, an expensive toy. In such a situation, it is not necessary to wait until the whim turns into a tantrum. It is better to leave the store immediately and take away the child under any pretext. Say that mom has forgotten the money at home and you need to return, that buy the desired thing tomorrow, after lunch, in a week.
On the way home, divert your baby to something else. Try to repeat the learned verse, collect chestnuts or cones for crafts. If you do everything right, then at home the child will not even remember the thing he demanded in your supermarket.
It is not recommended to take with you for shopping children under the age of 6 years. With a first grader and an older child you can already agree in a similar situation. Ask for reasons why he needs this or that thing. Ask if he can wait, do some time without her? If the child has pocket money, check if he is willing to spend it on the desired item? Count how much he misses. Promise to donate the missing amount for Christmas or motivate him to save for the right thing from pocket money.
Such situations arise in every family and signal that it is time to pay due attention to the financial education of the child. Start with the pocket money he will receive at the end of each week. These should be small amounts, but using their example you need to teach your child to save money, to properly dispose of them.
2. "I do not want! I will not!"
Refusal to collect toys, finish lunch, help a mother is able to make even the most balanced parent nervous. Usually, protest is accompanied by tears, screams and whims.
Here you need to act gradually:
- let your child calm down;
- Strictly explain what sanctions a refusal to carry out your assignment will entail, for example: for a week he will lose the game console, phone, pocket money, TV;
- in an hour, when the passions in the child’s soul subside, suggest an alternative - to fulfill your request or receive punishment. If you again hear the rejection, explain that he made the choice.
Write a list of the duties that the baby must perform. Let this be a feasible help around the house: sweep up, put down your belongings, toys, wash the dishes, etc. Consider a system of penalties for not complying with these points and rewards for good behavior.
3. Hyperactivity
Another problem that most families face is the increased energy of the child. From the morning he does not stop, runs, jumps, grabs everything. The feeling that you got a bunny from advertising batteries.
Any toy in his hands after half an hour turns into a pile of garbage. Plasticine in the hair, painted wallpaper, a cat in the microwave, traces of destruction throughout the house. If you have guests, it is impossible to take a tomboy with anything. He will definitely interfere in the conversation, sing a song, pour tea on the neighbor, break something, break it, but won't leave you alone for a minute.
Screaming at a child is absolutely pointless. He will not stand in the corner either. Any punishment will not fix the situation. It is better to think about where to direct the increased activity of your baby.
Give it to the sports section, dance school. Make a daily schedule so that it does not have a single free minute. The child will leave an excess of energy in the classroom, and there will be no more strength left for his pranks. With proper motivation, a professional dancer or athlete will grow out of it over the years.
Be sure to make an appointment with a pediatric neurologist. There is such a diagnosis - hyperactivity and attention deficit disorder. He does not foretell anything terrible. But, in this case, you should listen to the recommendations of a specialist.
The reason for the hyperactive behavior may be the desire to draw attention to themselves. Give your child more time, be interested in his problems. Play active games, often walk in the fresh air, play sports.
4. The manifestation of aggression
Does the child torture animals, hit children on the playground or in the garden? And in joint games trying to bite, hit, hurt? Do not rush to scold him. Pay attention to family relationships. Perhaps from here the child took such a model of behavior.
The authoritarian style of communication of one spouse, hidden rivalry for supremacy in the family, physical violence, moral pressure on the child can form the conviction that the one who is stronger is right. Because of this, there are manifestations of aggression in childhood. The child is not self-confident and knows no other way to assert himself, to defend his rights.
In such a situation it is difficult to change something yourself, you should turn to a child psychologist. It is also necessary to work on the atmosphere in the family.
Develop in the child sympathy for sentient beings and other people. Explain that the one who is stronger must take care of the weak and protect him. The main thing is to show your love to your baby, surround him with care and warmth. Then, subconsciously, he will project this feeling onto the whole world around!
Start a child with yourself
Children copy the model of parental behavior. The idea of what is good and what is unacceptable, the child draws from the family. Correct your faults to be a worthy example.
Eliminate the following mistakes in the process of education:
- Do not let negative emotions guide you.
- Do not say hurtful words. Agree, you can do without unpleasant comparisons, for example: "Masha studies well, and you are mediocrity!"
- Do not hang tags: slut, clumsy, stupid, etc. After all, a child has your genes. But the elementary rules of behavior sooner or later comprehend everything.
- Do not shout, do not use profanity. Learn to speak the same language with your child. Explain calmly and easily what you want from him.
- Never use physical force.
- Be consistent: if something prohibits, then without concessions. If something is promised - be sure to follow!
- Do not forget to say compliments, kind words. Let the baby know that you love him, appreciate. He must feel the protection and support of his parents in any situation.
Another mistake is the lack of a clear daily routine. Many children's protests and whims can be avoided if you teach your child to live according to a schedule. The task of parents to monitor the strict implementation of all its points. The baby should know that every morning he does exercises, then feeds the cat, eats himself, dresses, etc. Be sure to include in the daily routine items "help mom" and "free time".
There is no universal solution how to make your children obedient and quiet. And is it necessary? After all, each child already has his own opinion, his own view of the world. Do not suppress his personality. Excessively obedient children often grow up completely unsuitable for life by adults. Such a person is accustomed to, that all other people decide for him - parents, educators, teachers. Give your child some freedom of action, choice, the opportunity to learn from their mistakes.
Ideal children do not exist. A child behaves badly not because he does not love you and acts on evil. This person is just starting to live and does not always understand what is good and what is bad. Your task, as a parent, is to go with him this way. Explain the structure of the world and help to become a part of it!
