Perhaps some time ago you learned meditation and felt its amazing effect on yourself. And now you want to talk about how to meditate, your friends, relatives. In this article I will tell you what no new meditators should talk about and The most common mistakes teachers of meditation.
Maybe you practice your practice on your own, but you have problems and intractable questions. Perhaps you follow inaccurate instructions or formulate such instructions themselves. Or do you professionally train people in meditation and notice that many of your students sometimes do not understand you. I hope this article will be useful for both teachers and students in meditation, as it will consider typical inaccuracies in popular meditation instructions.
Why is it wrong to say “watch thoughts from the side” or “concentrate on breathing”. Why teach meditation for free correctly? And why is it right to teach meditation for money too? Answers further.
I like to say that meditation is simple and difficult at the same time. This is simply because the description of the correct technology can fit into one sentence. And it is hard for the reason that the principles underlying the practice contradict our usual patterns of thinking, perception and behavior. Therefore, many people do not immediately grasp these principles, and they need time to learn meditation and grasp its essence.
Of course, the one who educates people, the teacher, plays a significant role in this process. The clearer, clearer and clearer he conveys his knowledge to his students, the higher the likelihood that the latter will use meditation correctly, do not abandon the practice in a few months, integrate its principles into everyday life and encounter amazing life metamorphoses, as many people have already done who have been meditating regularly for a long time.
But the fact that meditation is both difficult and just applies not only to learning it. But also to that, to teach her. To do this, it is not always enough to independently master the basic aspects of meditation. It is necessary to clothe one's own experience in clear and necessary instructions that will not cause confusion in people's minds. And this skill does not always come immediately. Sometimes you have to go the way of mistakes, step on some rakes. This makes it possible to understand exactly what people need to talk about the technique of meditation so that they can derive maximum benefit from it.
I started meditating around 2011. Since then, I have tried many different techniques and made improvements to my basic technique. However, the basic principles of my meditation have not changed dramatically. That is, technically, my current meditation at home is not much different from how I started practicing meditation 5 years ago in suburban trains on my way from work to get rid of depression and anxiety. Although changes in the quality of meditation have certainly occurred since then.
But despite this, my article “How to meditate correctly” has undergone multiple revisions: I deleted whole paragraphs, added new ones, changed the structure, terms, ways of explanation. Yes, my technique has not undergone major changes, but the ways to transfer it to others have not remained the same. I continue to improve them, based on my experience of teaching people meditation and feedback that I get in the comments. I am more and more aware of what a delicate and delicate process is to teach. And during this process I had to step on some rakes, which I am going to voice in this article. I read a lot of instructions on meditation, both in Russian and in English, and concluded that certain mistakes, “rakes” in teaching people are typical and common to meditation teachers.
I continue to improve my meditation and learning skills. I actively read and look at the work of other meditation teachers and try to learn new approaches to the transfer of practice. But, perhaps, my experience is also useful to someone and will help to avoid misunderstanding.
Before turning to the "rakes" themselves, I will explain that the task of this article does not include criticism or a review of various "shizoteriki" that arose during meditation. I will not discuss all sorts of "wealth attracting meditations" and other dregs. The subject of this small study is normal instructions for normal meditation (as a practice of developing awareness), written by normal people who, however, contain some inaccuracies.
Rake 1 - "Watch the thoughts from the side"
"You close your eyes and try to focus on breathing. You may have different thoughts in your head, but you don’t follow them, you just calmly watch them from the side. Isn't that so difficult?"
~ Instructions for meditation in one glossy publication
Indeed, nothing is easier! I watch the thoughts from the side every day! Yes, everyone can do it! Do you think the guard in your office spits all day at the ceiling? No, he watches his thoughts from the side! This explains his serenity, which another person will unfairly call out laziness.
I'm kidding of course. It's not like that =)
Most people, after reading this manual and trying to meditate according to it, will see that all the time of meditation they are strictly in one of two states:
- They observe breathing sensations (or any other object of meditation)
- They walk in their thoughts
And the whole meditation they only switch between these two modes, unconsciously moving from the first to the second and consciously returning to the first.
The promised "observation of thoughts from the outside" does not arise. And then, of course, a person begins to think that he is meditating incorrectly. At best, he will ask a question or find clarifying information on his own. At worst, he will decide that he cannot meditate, meditation is not for him and will give up the practice.
At one time, I received a lot of comments with such questions and stopped receiving them only when I decided not to place such a large emphasis on observing thoughts and express this wording more delicately.
Notice, I do not write that I decided to abandon it. Why? The fact is that such instructions are not written by the teacher of meditation from malicious intent to confuse everyone. Moreover, it has a certain sense. It demonstrates the striking difference between meditation and our everyday experience (that is, the "complexity" of the practice I spoke about at the beginning).
Through practice, a person begins to realize that he does not have to be a direct participant in his emotions or thoughts. Thoughts seem to be born arbitrarily. This is just the chaotic work of our mind. Practice shows that we do not have to follow every thought every time (the thought of insult, non-existent danger, the thought of lighting a cigarette after promising to quit smoking, I mean any thought!).
We do not have to identify ourselves with thoughts. You must admit that this does not at all correspond to our habit of going on about every mental impulse, being sure that our mind is us. Practice makes it possible to choose which thoughts and urges to obey, and which ones not to let go. Thoughts, emotions and desires cease to be orders for us, binding, they turn into sentences that we can consider and then either reject or accept. It is an indirect control of the mind that makes us free and flexible in life.
At the heart of this control is a certain skill. We develop it during meditation. It is a skill not to respond to emotions, thoughts or desires, returning your attention back to the object of concentration. And sometimes in the course of this process, when our concentration has already stabilized, when the mind has calmed down enough, it turns out that we are seeing our emotions from the outside. We do not do anything with them: neither we develop, nor we suppress, we just notice how they come and go.
But if the principle of observing emotions can still be somehow comprehended by the mind, especially after the first experiments of meditation, then with the observation of thoughts everything is more complicated. In the center of Tushita, where my meditation training took place, I asked a question to an experienced teacher. "Is it possible to observe from the side how in our mind whole concepts and ideas unfold?"
He replied: "Of course not!". The fact is that when we watch our mind, we already use a part of the “processor memory”, which is usually involved in thinking. In other words, we see in part the same as we think. Therefore, naturally, it is impossible to build up whole ideas in your head and to observe from the side how the development of mental concepts takes place. That is, "observation of thoughts" should not be taken quite literally. Nevertheless, this observation is to some extent feasible, and I will describe, from my own experience, what it might look like.
Sometimes during meditation, after the first minutes of the chaotic wandering of the mind have passed, and the mind has found relative calm, thoughts come. The mind, obeying its habit, begins to cling to them. But due to the fact that awareness is awakening, we immediately notice this “clinging” and do not allow the mind to follow thoughts to the end. And just a moment after the mind barely had time to cling to the thought, and we quickly noticed and turned our attention to observation, then we could observe the "tails" of thoughts (like the tails of meteors that instantly burn in the atmosphere). We are no longer thinking a thought, but it still “rolls” for a couple of moments by inertia. And we are able to observe this process. This is just my experience. Perhaps the more advanced meditators do things in a different way.
(Incidentally, the Tushita meditation teacher from the center said that we cannot observe our thoughts and emotions because we try to concentrate too much, using all the “processor memory” in observation. Therefore, attention during meditation should be stable, but relaxed and soft.)
Here it is important to see that this happens by itself when our attention is focused and the mind is calm. This is a product of meditation, but by no means its technical condition. It is not quite correct to say: "close your eyes and watch the thoughts of emotions from the side." Because it will come when the mind settles down. And the mind will calm down when we keep our attention on the sensations that arise when breathing, returning attention to them as soon as we notice that it is distracted. The last sentence is the meditation instruction. Only this needs to be done, which already guarantees that you are doing everything correctly.
And observation of emotions will come by itself. Or will not come. If it does not come, then it is also normal. You should not think: “whether it has come or not, but now I’m watching or not.” What is your only task? Hold attention to the sensations that arise when breathing ... then you know. What will come at the same time, what emotions will “crawl out”, then come and “crawl out”. And what does not come and does not "crawl out", it does not come and does not "crawl out". That's all.
Indeed, the observation of thoughts and emotions is possible, at least to some extent. And this formulation demonstrates the difference of meditation from the usual way of thinking and reaction, reflecting in part its essence. Therefore, it can be in the instructions for practice, but only in a soft and explanatory form, and not in the form of a specific instruction or, especially, the goal of meditation.
Watch emotions or watch breath? What is right?
Before proceeding to the next "rake", I would like to briefly touch on the aspect that is again associated with the observation of emotions. Many meditation instructions say: "when an emotion comes, do not suppress it, do not evaluate it, just observe." And in another paragraph it can be written: "your task is to observe the breath." Accordingly, many people have a question: if there comes any sense of what to do, watch it from the side or watch your breath?
I think you can do both, both approaches will be correct. There are meditation techniques that strictly regulate watching the breath throughout the meditation. But, in my opinion, sometimes in the event of a strong emotion that prevents you from concentrating, it makes sense to “observe” it from the side. This may cause the mind to be less distracted by it and it will disappear. And then you can go back to the breath. This is a matter of practice only, everyone should try both approaches and understand what suits him best.
Rake 2 - Observe your breath
Such a formulation can be found in many meditation instructions. She, in principle, is true, but the phrase "watch the breath" is not so much specifics. Some people intuitively understand it correctly and begin to realize the sensations in the nostrils, in the chest and in the stomach, which appear when the air enters our body and leaves it. But others do not understand what it means to "observe the breath." Some begin to pay attention to the sound that accompanies inhalation and exhalation, others visualize the process of oxygen in the lungs, then in the blood.
In general, each perceives it in its own way. And most likely the problem is in the formulation, and not in people.
Therefore, it is important to specify what we are observing. Breathing is too abstract. In the technique of meditation, which I teach people (not just me, and many others), we observe sensations in certain parts of the body that arise when breathing. What specific sites? It all depends on your personal characteristics. I prefer concentration on sensations when breathing to other types of objects of attention (candle, mantra, sound, etc.), because this kind of concentration is quite flexible and can be adjusted to individual needs.
People who fall asleep during meditation (as well as those who suffer from derealization) are encouraged to be aware of sensations in their nostrils. Those whose minds are constantly distracted are more likely to concentrate on the inhalation and exhalation feelings that arise in the abdomen due to the movement of the diaphragm. And for those who can not relax, it will be better to realize the sensations of breathing in the whole body: from nostrils to the abdomen. Why so, I explained in the article "how to meditate." I will not stop here anymore.
Rake 3 - "During meditation you will feel it, feel it ..."
I came across instructions in which it was written: "if you do everything correctly, then your breathing will slow down, you will feel peace and relaxation."
Of course, this generates wrong expectations. Many people (like me, for example) often encounter the fact that meditation does not always bring pleasant sensations. And the body can react in different ways: hidden fears will “break through” for someone, and because of excitement, the heartbeat and breathing will speed up.
I keep repeating that the principle of meditation goes against our habits. When I teach meditations to people who hear about it for the first time, I often see how the interest in their eyes fades away, if I say that the meaning of meditation is not to get instant pleasant experiences or interesting experience, but that meditation is mind training that needs to be done daily
.
We are accustomed to strive for pleasant sensations and avoid unpleasant ones. Moreover, we are accustomed to raising our feelings to the rank of the measure of the "correctness" of what we are doing.
Sometimes I get comments from the category: “Hooray, I did it! I was meditating and felt the joy / euphoria / unity with outer space. I will continue to study!”
If you want to master meditation, then you need to stop evaluating the practice based on what you have experienced during it. It does not matter much.
But the habit of becoming attached to sensations is so strong in people that they continue to follow it during meditation, even when they explain in detail that the essence of the practice is the opposite: to accept any sensations, whatever they may be. Do not try to "evoke" pleasant emotions or suppress unpleasant, but accept. What to say about the instructions that make an excessive emphasis on what we supposedly “must” feel.
There are instructions that are not as radical as the wording I put at the beginning of this paragraph. Тем не менее, стоит лишь неосторожно написать, что: "во время медитации замедляется дыхание, запускается парасимпатическая нервная система, способствуя глубокому расслаблению", как сотни людей начнут думать, что они медитируют неправильно, в тех случаях, если они не наблюдают таких ощущений или когда они ощущают страх, тревогу или боль.
Не спорю, ощущения покоя и расслабления имеют место быть. И в общем и целом, можно сказать, что действительно, даже единственный сеанс медитации может оказать глубокий успокаивающий эффект на ваши тело и ум. Но это будет происходить не каждый раз. Более того, я считаю, что медитации, во время которых проявляются страх, гнев и другие негативные эмоции, бывают даже более плодотворными, чем "спокойные" медитации. Потому что во время таких сеансов деструктивные, подавленные эмоции находят свой выход.
Важно всегда делать акцент на том, что во время медитации практикующий может испытывать любые ощущения. И часто они не значат ровно ничего в контексте оценки правильности и качества выполнения медитации. Пришла радость - хорошо. Пришло чувство покоя - хорошо. Пришел страх - хорошо. Пришла депрессия, грусть - хорошо.
Как правило, если кого-то не предупредить о том, что не верно оценивать свою практику исходя из ощущений, то такой человек прекратит ей заниматься, когда эти чувства исчезнут. А они исчезнут. Может быть на время, но пропадут. Потому что все наши чувства временные.
О том, как маленькие ручейки превращаются в большой поток
Обучение медитации - тонкий процесс, требующий особенного подхода. Я внимательно наблюдаю за деятельностью моих отечественных и западных коллег, стараясь научиться у них как можно большему.
И вижу, как важно в этом процессе соблюдать баланс между тем, чтобы заинтересовать людей и тем, чтобы не вызвать нереалистичных ожиданий. Например, выкладки из научных исследований, доказывающих эффективность практики, вкупе с восторженными отзывами людей, чью жизнь медитация изменила, служат для всех хорошую службу, они побуждают широкие слои общества к технике. Но без адекватной и информации о том, как применять эти методы на практике, чего стоит ждать, а чего не стоит, многие люди могут бросить медитировать, когда после нескольких недель занятий они не обнаружат исчезновения всех проблем и страхов. В своих статьях я стараюсь постоянно повторять, что медитация - это инструмент, а не самоцель. И если аспекты практики не применять в своей повседневной жизни, то толка (а главное понимания для чего это нужно и, как следствие, мотивации) будет немного.
Жесткое следование списку формальных правил медитации оберегает учителей от ненужной самодеятельности и частного произвола, как это происходит в крупных центрах медитации. Но этот же фактор может сформировать отсутствие гибкости в объяснении техники, что в некоторых организациях может переходить в ранг какого-то секулярного догматизма. Поэтому и здесь тоже будет полезно соблюдать баланс.
Я и сейчас могу мягко критиковать некоторые подходы к обучению медитации. Но при этом я отдаю себе отчет в том, что разным людям нужны разные инструкции. Раньше мне казалось, что многие способы обучать людей медитации, которые отличались от моего подхода, неправильные. Но со временем я смягчил свое отношение к ним.
Люди отличаются друг от друга. Кому-то ближе мой "рациональный" подход к практике, как к упражнению по развитию внимания, осознанности, интеллекта, способа избавления от депрессии и тревоги. Другим же это будет не интересно. Зато они с удовольствием приступят к практике, если им расскажут о просветлении и работе чакр. Им не интересно то, что говорит наука. И это нормально.
Кто-то ни за что не будет обучаться медитации за деньги, веря в то, что такое знание должно быть только "бесплатным". И такие люди найдут соответствующие организации. А другой человек, наоборот, скорее поверит в то, что, если он не заплатит за обучение, то не получит эффект. И таких людей тоже не мало, в основном, это состоятельные люди, убежденные в том, что "бесплатно" и "качественно" - понятия несовместимые.
Думаю, вам будет интересно ознакомиться со списком студентов "трансцендентальной медитации" (это всемирная организация, которую я всегда считал крайне коммерционализированной, нацеленной исключительно на зарабатывание денег). Наверняка вы найдете в этом списке своих любимых актеров или музыкантов. И несмотря на то, что мне никогда не нравились методы этой организации по привлечению людей к практике, я вижу, что результат на лицо! Десятки известных людей изменили свою жизнь, избавились от депрессии, стали счастливее. Да, они заплатили немало денег, но по-другому они, возможно, никогда бы не дошли до практики!
Есть люди, которым, чтобы обучиться медитации потребуется лишь приблизительная инструкция, умещающаяся в одном предложении. Но есть также много тех, кому понадобятся месяцы работы с опытным преподавателем, чтобы научиться медитировать. Люди разные, и это абсолютно нормально!
Теперь я понимаю, чем больше разнообразие методов обучения медитации (за исключением всякой "шизотерики"), тем больше самых разных людей откроют медитацию.
Не так важно, что кто-то объясняет эффект практики раскрытием чакр, а другой изменением активности определенных участков мозга. Если медитация способна сделать счастливыми самых разных людей: верующих, атеистов, рациональных, эмоциональных, мистиков и практиков, то пусть для каждого типа личности найдется свой учитель!
Пусть это будет похоже на множество маленьких потоков воды, которые спускаются с гор, но в итоге, образуют единый, мощный поток!
