Your child hysteria for any reason - there are explanations from the point of view of psychology.
There are adjustment methods that will help parents find common language with their children.
Tantrum: the concept and how it manifests itself
Tantrum in a child is behavior going beyond adequate and calm.
The baby may start crying loudly, falling to the floor, kicking, screaming. At this time, to calm him down is problematic.
Him convulsions may occur, at this time, the child does not hear the words addressed to him, and when trying to calm him down, he begins to scream even more.
Tantrum manifests itself in response to the inability to get what you want. A child wants a thing or to do something, but the parents or circumstances prevent it. As a result, an attack occurs when it is almost impossible to control the behavior of the baby.
A child during a tantrum becomes “temporarily unavailable”, that is, it is impossible to reach him, to make him think logically, to pay attention to the incorrectness of the act.
After there is a recession when the baby seeks consolation for his grief.
Causes at different ages
Already in one year the child begins to actively move around the apartment. His goal - to learn as much as possible, touch, try. He still does not understand the dangerbut her parents see her who are trying to ban unwanted actions.
If you can not get what he wants, the child begins to experience a feeling of frustrationthat is, his needs are not met. It spills into anger, crying, moving hands, kicking on the floor.
Towards two years of age, needs and desires begin to appear in children.
They actively master the world, they want to touch and touch everything. He is already walking steadily, he can climb on the chairs, reach the shelves.
The child understands that the store where they go, a lot of interesting things, and he also wants to have them. But parents understand the danger of the world around them and try to instill in the child some proper character traits.
Why does the kid throw tantrums? The causes of tantrums at 2 years of age are:
- misunderstanding - the child is trying to say something, but can not express it in words. As a result, parents do not know what he wants, and the baby begins to be capricious;
- the desire to attract attention - in the case when the mother or father devotes little time to him, they do not want to fulfill his request;
- tiredness, feeling of hunger;
- during the illness - the immune system is weakened, the baby feels unwell, needs increased care;
- imitation of the behavior of peers or adults;
- hyper care;
- when distracted from interesting activities;
- family conflicts;
- changes in a habitual way of life - leaving of someone from family members, moving, the beginning of visiting of a kindergarten, even repair;
- unmet need for love - the little man most needs warmth and the feeling of being loved.
He cannot express it in words, but he feels well the dislike, neglect, irritation from his relatives.
It upsets him, the psyche does not cope with the fact that the baby does not feel loved;
- hyperactivity.
In three years, the child passes crisis period. At this time, hysteria occurs in many children.
But they are especially pronounced with choleric or melancholic temperament, as well as mistakes in education.
When a child goes to kindergarten, he meets with a new environment for him. At this time, tantrums can happen on the basis of fears and unwillingness to visit a social institution.
About the causes of children's tantrums in this video:
Misconceptions and myths about baby crying
Crying for a child - natural reaction to internal and external stimuli. He thus expresses that in his world something is wrong.
Parents are annoyed by crying, sometimes they think that the baby is aching and worries about trifles, but in fact even simple situations matter to him.
The main myths of baby crying:
- It will pass. Some parents think that let him cry, he will calm down and everything will be forgotten. In fact, any negative state affects the psyche of a growing person.
- "Men do not cry" - inspire boys from childhood. As a result, they are forced to drive their experiences inside. negative accumulates, it leads to nervous system disorders and somatic diseases in the future.
- Children cry for nothing. For a child, everything matters. He is not able to distinguish between significant and insignificant. The machine broke - this is an important and annoying event for him.
Cry - the natural reaction of the psyche to the stimulus, so do not scold the child for such an emotional manifestation.
How to understand the cause of hysteria in a child and help him calm down? The main types of tantrums:
Why is he whining for any reason?
Whining a kid for any reason can mean lack of attention.
If the mother is more concerned with her problems, and the child annoys her, he tries to become noticeable by any means.
Whining happens in families where reigns unhealthy atmosphere - quarrels, problems of the household plan. The child can also adopt the behavior of significant adults - if one of them is used to complaining, the preschooler unknowingly begins to copy it.
Some children have hyperemotionalthat is, increased sensitivity. In this case, tears arise easily and for the slightest reason. It is necessary to take into account this property of the psyche, perhaps, to visit a specialist.
However, this should not be a strong cause for concern - it is just a special feature of the nervous system, a melancholic temperament.
What if the baby is constantly psyche and screaming?
How to wean a child to arrange tantrums and whine for any reason? Firstly it is important to determine the cause. Then it will be easier to prevent tantrums.
With each time to prevent tantrums is becoming increasingly difficult. Parents get lost in the stormy manifestations, start to shout themselves or try to cajole the baby.
In severe cases tantrums can repeat up to 10-15 times a day, which exhausts the parents and especially the child himself.
In advanced cases, it is better to visit consultation of a child psychologist.
After studying the characteristics of the family, methods of education, the state of the nervous system of the baby, the accompanying stress, he will give recommendations on how to most safely cope with the violent emotional and uncontrollable behavior of the child.
What if the child whines constantly? Psychologist tips:
Weaning hysteria in 10 months-1 year
Parents need learn to keep calm. The child adopts the emotional state of loved ones, and especially the mother. If the mother herself is nervous, annoyed at the baby, then his psyche becomes unstable.
To prevent the beginning tantrum, you should calm yourself. You must speak slowly and quietly with the child. A cry will only intensify fright and crying.
Child at this age easy to distract - give a toy, turn on the music, pay attention to the animal.
In 2-3-4 years
At this time, tantrums happen most often.
They can be spontaneous, happen at night when the baby suddenly wakes up and starts screaming.
Usually by the age of four the episodes disappear, but with the wrong approach, manifested in a later age.
Parents' actions:
- comply with the regime. With the wrong mode in the biological clock fails, the body is difficult to tune in to wakefulness and rest, as a result, the child increases fatigue, irritability;
- teach your child to express their desires in words. No need to push and force, help him find the right words;
- if the child is easily excited, minimize the chance of annoying factors;
- explain the reasons for prohibitions.
During an attack, parents need not to respond to shouting.
One of the ways is to continue to go about your business, turn away a little, but so that you can control what is happening. Do yourself something interesting that will cause children's curiosity.
5-6 years old
A child at this age is already quite conscious. He can understand the consequences of some actions, distinguishes wrong actions.
To prevent tantrums, you must:
- communicate with the child, to teach him to understand the consequences of wrong actions, to explain the simple rules of morality;
- give him the right to choose when there are several decision making options;
- explain to him that he is no longer small, and this behavior looks ugly.
In this age going to school, they begin to demand more and more from the child, they teach him the norms of behavior. The baby has fears, insecurity. Stress accumulates and spills out with hysterical seizures.
To guard, excessively cherish, to fulfill any whims of the baby is not worth it. This will have the opposite effect.
If a child is holding his breath during a tantrum, Do not get scared. One of the methods is to lightly blow in the face, and the baby will reflexively sigh.
Tantrums most often occur in the presence of certain family members, usually a grandmother or mother. Fathers are calmer and more consistent, so emotional outbursts are next to him less often.
One way to get rid of children's tantrums - send the child to the garden. There, children behave differently.
In the absence of regular viewers who react to his seizures, the child will not become hysterical. There are other children there, whom he will be ashamed of, and educators who cannot be manipulated.
In 7-8 years and older
The period when the child enters a significant stage - starts to attend school.
For him, this is a new environment, the need to comply with the rules, learn lessons, communicate with a large number of children, comply with the requirements of parents and teachers.
At this age, hysterics may arise for the first time or continue those who have accompanied the development of the baby over the past years, since the parents did nothing.
What to do at this age:
- explain the prohibitions. After 7 years, the child already knows what is permissible and what is not;
- pay attention to the inadmissibility of such behavior;
- note that his peers do not behave this way;
- parents should agree among themselves on parenting methods so that there is no contradiction when one permits and the other prohibits;
- Do not retreat or change the decision. If the child achieves his own behavior, the seizures will be repeated again.
After hysterics need make tactile contact - hug, take the hand. Then you can talk, calm. Tantrums are more characteristic of capricious and excitable children, so you should pay attention to surround the child calmly with the situation.
If during hysterics, convulsions occur, consciousness suffers, then it is better to consult a neurologist or a psychologist.
What not to do?
There are actions that can harm a child and aggravate tantrums.
- You can not punish, beat. To the feeling that it is impossible to get what you want, physical pain, resentment is added. The child starts screaming even harder, the hysteria does not stop.
- Do what the child requires. This will only lead to the fact that hysteria becomes a way to get what you want.
- Speak: “I don't love you”, “you are bad”, threaten to give to an orphanage, leave.
- Shout - The child is even more scary.
It is useful for parents to learn how to anticipate the onset of hysteria. Preventing it before the start is easier than calming a screaming baby.
If a child using tantrums still learns to pursue his own, it’s may have long-term effects. From the capricious preschooler, he turns into an uncontrollable teenager. Therefore, when the first seizures urgently begin to look for causes and ways to eliminate them.
What mistakes make parents, causing hysteria in children? Find out from the video: