Unfortunately, schizophrenia - most common psychiatric problem our time.
At the same time, children and adolescents suffer from this disease on average 5-6 times more often than adults. And it is no secret that mental disorders of children, as a rule, are provoked by their parents.
Who is this schizophrenogenic mother? Why is she pushing her child into a disease, although, it would seem, it should, on the contrary, in every possible way protect the child from this disease?
Term meaning
First of all, it is important to understand that most schizophrenogenic mothers sometimes healthy kids grow up.
And in the most normal, perfectly healthy and happy families, there are cases of schizophrenia in children.
That is, no behavior of the mother leads automatically to the illness of her child. There is no hard determinism here. We are talking only about statistical laws.
Say, the chances of getting sick for a son or daughter, if their mother treats them correctly, educates them correctly, loves them, is about a tenth of a percent. Schizophrenic mom baby they can approach 70-80%. Nevertheless, we all ruin ourselves and save ourselves.
Psychiatrists and psychologists have the expression “care for a disease”. So, when we get mentally ill, it is always “going into a disease”. That is, we do it ourselves: we ourselves are going into a disease - and not someone shoves us there.
Man by nature is an internally free being: he chooses his own way. However, the chances of choosing this path — the path to the disease — are very great for a son or daughter of such a mother, which will be discussed here. In growing up in a healthy family - insignificant.
A mother can provoke a disease by her attitude towards the child, by her behavior. But not her mother calls her, but, strangely enough, the patient herself. This is his own decision, albeit an unconscious one.
And the second is a very important point. Such a woman is not a villain and a criminal. She herself is ill and needs help.
True, in the overwhelming majority, such women who unwittingly provoke care in the illness of their children, mentally quite healthy. But they all have serious internal psychological problems.
It is the unresolved nature of these problems that leads to the wrong attitude towards your child.
A woman hurts her children: yes, it is terrible. But she herself suffers too. She does evil, but at the same time is a victim.
It can not be condemned. She is needs understanding and sympathy. She is in trouble: with her child.
Portrait
Olga is about 35 years old. This is an energetic modern business woman with two higher education: she is a journalist-photographer and manager. She works in two jobs.: the chief editor of a major magazine and the director and teacher of a photo school. She has two children: boy and girl. They are 9 and 6 years old respectively.
These children - from different fathers. With the father of Svyatoslav (that is the name of the son of Olga), she was never painted. They parted before the boy was born. Then Olga for some time was married to her colleague and subordinate in a photo school, but together they were brief and separated from the scandal.
All day Olga is painted by the minute. She is always in a hurry. She lives alone, with children. When Svyatoslav was only born to her, her mother lived with her, but they were constantly in conflict. Mom left, now she is in another city. Olga almost does not communicate with her.
General she never communicate with anyone informally. She is very businesslike. Just to communicate, in her mind, means to lose time. In addition, she is very insecure in communication, even afraid of him. With any informal contacts, she feels like she is naked: she is heavy, ashamed, scared, I want it to end as soon as possible.
Her style of communication is jerky and sharp.
She is not an obvious boor, but her subordinates are afraid of it. She is very demanding and picky.
She also treats children. She talks to them a little: basically, these are what commands, orders.
However, Olga - extremely caring mother. Svetoslav engaged with three tutors, goes to the pool and music school. Olga even drives him to the pool and to the music school by car (there he goes by himself, by public transport). Sonya, her daughter, is already engaged in dancing, although she is still only going to go to the first class.
Olga is well versed in cooking, can cook. She feeds children well, clothes.
However, despite all her concerns, the children, even in appearance, look miserable.
Svyatoslav has a thin, pale face, big ears, he always looks tired, dull, somehow impressed. At Sophia, the corners of her mouth, like an old woman, are lowered far down, and her eyes are always with dark circles under them, as if she is not getting enough sleep or constantly crying, although this is not so.
Children talk to each other a little: they each have their own room. Olga is a wealthy person: she earns more than 100 thousand rubles a month, not counting the journalistic fees and advertising revenue. Her total income is more than 250 thousand per month. She pays a big mortgage. She has a beautiful apartment in a prestigious area, in a new house.
Olga never consults with children about anything: all decisions are made by herself. Children never try to express their opinions: both Svyatoslav and Sophia are submissive and obedient. All day their painted mom, from lifting to rebound. There is nothing of their own in their lives, and they cannot imagine what could be.
Mom - their complete, absolute mistress. Olga does not tolerate the slightest contradiction of herself, nor the slightest disobedience.
And not only from children. And at work she instantly gets rid from those who at least something, at least some trifle, did not please.
Outwardly, Olga is a typical business lady and typical boss. She is tall, dense build. Her face is amymic, somewhat pale, cold. The gaze is also moving away, cold, and the same voice, sharp, jerky.
She never looks into the eyes of the interlocutor. Her movements are also sharp, fast. She often drops and beats the dishes, because she always rushes somewhere and does not have time. Despite her efficiency, she is scattered: she often forgets that she has appointed someone to meet, and does not come to her. She is sleeps badly and takes potent sleeping pills.
Olga completely abandoned her personal life. After a scandalous divorce from her husband, she has been alone for 2 years, she has no close man, and she does not try to do anything to make him appear.
Portrait of a schizophrenogenic mother in this video:
Main features
The strangest, from an ordinary point of view, the peculiarity of such a woman - she is extremely caring mother.
True, there are the opposite type of mother: psychologists call it "rejecting." Such a mother openly hates her child, constantly scolding, criticizing, ignoring. But this type is extremely rare nowadays.
Now almost all such women differ precisely in their exaggerated caring for children. However, if you carefully analyze the relationship of such a mother with her children, it becomes clear that she does not feel any joy from communicating with them.
Olga, whose portrait is given above, by the way, writes popular articles for parents (her magazine is a glossy magazine for parents), in which calls child care "work and responsibility".
For her, this is not the joy of human communication, not happiness — but hard labor, hard work.
We can easily see that exaggerated care for a child is not the result of a great love for him.
Moreover, such a mother is in fact never loves her child can't love. And deep down he feels it. Sometimes she is even full of hostility from her own child.
To hide it from herself, she takes care of the children so fanatically. This is a kind of self-hypnosis. A woman inspires herself: "I am a beautiful mother. I give myself all to the children." However, we can also easily notice that not only mom herself does not look happy at all, but also her children licked from head to toe.
Such women are prone to connivance, even outright indulgence. They close their eyes to many things in their children that would not pass by the attention of a healthy mother, for which she would scold and punish children. But at the same time such women are despotic.
They strive to control literally every step a child wants. achieve from him unconditional obedience. In fact, their goal is to turn the baby into a dead doll, which can be manipulated according to its whim.
If the child resists, such a mother in many ways seeks to break it, make it obedient. This is not always hard pressure. Sometimes the mother cries, pretends to be ill, to "play pity."
If you talk with such a woman about her child, whom we know even a little, we will find that she, his mother, knows almost nothing about him. That is, she knows many facts from his life, his external features, but her inner world is completely incomprehensible to her, she does not understand him as a person.
At the same time, it seems to my mother that she knows her child, but in fact in her mind she is a fantasy image invented by her, having no relation to reality.
It is with this imaginary baby that she builds relationships ignoring the real child.
So, main features of a schizophrenic mother:
- She failed to arrange her personal life, she is unhappy.
- She does not know how to build relationships with children, communicates with them informally, but at the same time surrounds them with exaggerated care.
- She does not give the child freedom, independence, demands unconditional obedience from him.
- She actually does not love her child and is not interested in his inner world, his human characteristics.
Why does this behavior provoke care in the disease?
A growing person faces certain tasks. First of all, this is the task - find oneself, take place as a person, person and individuality. Every human being pushes every child on this path.
However, the little man is extremely dependent on his mother. He can not do without her literally not a day, he is associated with her psychological umbilical cord.
And his mother, his support, his hope, his closest being, his earthly God - in fact demands from him: do not be a man. Become my doll, which I will manipulate. Give up on yourself to please me. Then I will be pleased with you.
To choose the path of development means to be in conflict not only with the mother (although this is unbearable for most children), but also with himself.
After all, a kind of deification of parents is a characteristic feature of the psychology of all children.
Therefore, this position of the mother pushes the baby on another path (and there is no third) - giving up on yourself. This is the way to the disease.
What determines whether the child gets sick or not?
If the child really decided to give up his independence in order to please the mother, he does not turn into a doll in fact, but remains a man - and it will remain until his death.
What happens in his soul? He still needs to feel himself as someone, although in reality he is nobody and nothing, because he himself decided so.
Then he starts to dream. He invents himself and life, which does not exist, begins to believe in it, as if all this is real. The connection between his fantasies and real behavior is lost.
In fact, he is a manipulated, albeit biologically living, doll. But he is different within himself. Such a phenomenon in psychiatry is called "split personality". It is appropriate to recall that “schizo” is “to split into pieces,” and “frenos” is “head” (in a figurative sense, “soul”).
So a person ceases to be a whole person, which is characteristic feature of any healthy person. This person consists of pieces of at least two that are not related to each other and may not even know anything about each other.
This is a schizoid psychopath. If left untreated, the disease will enter a clinical stage.
However, there is always a chance. The child can help friends in the yard (if any). He can help his favorite thing (if he found it). An adult friend can help him (if there is one).
He can be helped by internal resistance to the influence of the mother (this is theoretically possible, it is very rare in practice). But if there is nothing to grasp, the chances of getting into the disease are very high.
Schizophrenogenic father
Fathers rarely, in comparison with mothers, provoke a disease. However it is possible. Such a father if he has a daughter, rejects her: obviously does not love her, is not interested in her, does not take part in her life. He is the father only formally. In fact, this is a stranger.
If he has a boy, his father provokes the disease when he makes impracticable demands to his son and severely punishes them for not fulfilling, especially if these punishments are connected with the abuse of the child’s personality and humiliation.
It is also provocative in appearance exactly the opposite behavior of the father towards his son: permissive, spineless, without any requirements. Such men are also called “rags”. Such a father cannot be relied upon, relied upon. This is also not a real father.
Family
More than half of future schizoid psychopaths grow up in single-parent families.
However, a complete family can push the baby into the disease.
This happens if adults live each their own interests, do not have common goals. They live in the same apartment, but in fact are not family. They are not together, but separately.
If mom and dad are constantly arguing, in front of children, including this too provokes care in the disease. If relations in the family are cold, alienated, formal, there is no friendship and love, this is also a disease factor.
It is necessary to add that the increase in the number of children with schizophrenia is provoked by modern society itself.
From the point of view of his norms and values, such a lady as Olga, for example, is an absolutely perfect mother.
It is the lifestyle and values of the Consumption Society. lead to the emergence of a huge number of unhappy women with a simple personal fate, and already these women, trying to compensate for the lack of genuine meaning and happiness in their lives, unwittingly begin to push their children into illness.
As a rule, an adult who behaves in such a way does not recognize his problems and in every way is protected from information that could open his eyes. However, in the depths of her soul a woman is full of despair and begs for help. She and her baby can be helped, but only if she herself wants it.
ABOUT schizophrenogenic relatives in this video:
