Trainings on how to learn to love yourself remain popular; people continue to seek help from specialists to get rid of the complexes. But usually it does not have the desired effect. Many techniques are aimed at improving the appearance, while the main problem lies in the world perception. The article contains recommendations for those who really want to love themselves. The emphasis is not on the mantra "I already love myself, I am so wonderful, beautiful, the best," but on finding the causes of self-dislike and liquidation.
Take your appearance for granted
Practically there are no those who would like their appearance entirely. But stop shy away from the mirror, constantly criticizing yourself, the power of each. When people abstract from comparisons with processed images in glossy magazines, they are much more loyal to their appearance. Fashion is fleeting; The parameters of the ideal body are constantly changing, so you should not lose weight / gain weight to fit the norms of society.
Many voluntarily take part in the race of the most attractive, trying to look more beautiful and keep up with celebrities. These competitions take a lot of emotional power, lead to a complex. Sometimes it comes to the fact that a person hates himself for a "non-ideal" appearance.
It is worth considering - is it really necessary this race for an unattainable ideal? Why try to copy someone, getting rid of their own uniqueness? Taking a body, a person ceases to depend on beauty patterns, becomes more confident and spends his resources on more important things.
Do not turn the reward system into a lifestyle
Guided by the phrase "do not deserve / a," some of us deprive ourselves of pleasant moments. “I did a bad job today, so the evening trip to the cinema is canceled,” “I didn’t complete the to-do list, I’d have to take a walk with my friends” ... .
The incentive system works, but it is not always worth using. Sometimes you need to invigorate yourself just like that, even if the day didn’t go away at all, deadlines are thwarted, conversation with friends ended in a quarrel. At such moments it is necessary to support yourself with some pleasant trifle.
Stop communicating with those who constantly complain about life
Almost everyone has a friend / acquaintances who are constantly dissatisfied with everything. It is too cold, it is too hot, the boss does not respect, then the family does not appreciate ... Everyone has problems, but this is not a reason to constantly complain about fate. If a person surrounds himself with such personalities, his self-esteem only deteriorates: he himself gets used to discussing extremely bad things, to find cons in everything, and also makes sure that he is a loser, and all losers around. It is necessary to "filter" the circle of communication, limiting from contact with the forever dissatisfied.
Talking with those who are positive and accustomed to solving their problems, rather than complaining about them, will be much more productive. In addition, those who are determined to see the positive in almost all ways help them to love themselves in a wonderful way - they sincerely notice the best sides of friends, give sensible advice, do not allow them to become depressed and support in any situation.
Get rid of jealousy
Even those who do not have a loved one are subject to this feeling. You can be jealous of anyone - parents for their brothers and sisters, friends for other acquaintances, etc. These feelings arise suddenly, seem natural and uncontrollable. But jealousy is an indicator of two problems at once: attempts to “embrace” other people completely, self-doubt. Both should be eradicated.
The first is more or less clear: just put yourself in the place of another. Then it becomes easier to realize that everyone needs communication, and it should not remain communication with only one person. With the second one it is a little more difficult - it is harder for the self-doubt to get rid of comparisons with other, more successful, beautiful, interesting ones. A simple thought helps - relatives still remain with him, love and appreciate, are not going to change for someone who is supposedly better. Confidential conversations with loved ones, the feeling of a strong connection, sincere feelings - that helps to get rid of destructive jealousy.
Do not feel sorry for yourself and others
No, this is not a call to become insensitive, callous, offend friends and step on the tails of homeless kittens. It is necessary to distinguish between the concept of "pity" and "empathy." The second helps to realize how other living beings feel, to understand who needs help, and to provide it. Pity, alas, does not always lead to action. People pity many - themselves, the neighbor who was abandoned by his wife, all the sick and destitute in the world.
But this feeling without action does not bring anything good, even on the contrary, it is capable of depleting emotional resources. Therefore, it is worth getting rid of pity, stop justifying yourself, start acting. Where it is more productive to pick up one stray kitten, take care of him instead of silently sympathizing with all the animals that were thrown by the owners.
Do not be afraid to express negative emotions.
In childhood, parents pull children when they are angry, screaming or crying. Memories of such moments can sit firmly in my head, and already at a conscious age, people suppress feelings with a minus sign. This leads to sudden uncontrollable outbursts of anger, hysterics, or even depression.
The accumulated negative is worth "splashing out" in time with the mind. A good option can be considered regular trips to large concerts, where you can sing in full voice, do not hesitate to lack of hearing, and dance as you like. Sports help to fight against negative emotions, as well as benefit health. Some get a lot easier after they put their feelings on paper - draw or write. Each person chooses what suits him best. The main thing - do not save money in a negative.
The habit of suppressing negative emotions is inherent in uncertain people. They fear that the environment will consider them crazy after they raise their voices or express their displeasure. Being accustomed not to restrain himself at certain moments, a person is revealed as a person, accepts his right to any emotions, including negative ones. He can say straightforwardly what he is dissatisfied with, why he is angry, instead of nodding and smiling, accumulating anger in his soul.
Some tips explaining how to learn to love yourself may seem complicated or radical. Yes, the recommendations really mean a way out of the comfort zone, so the person feels unusual. Many fear change, uncertainty, preferring to remain conservative. But a harmonious life is worth it to perform bold actions, which were previously difficult to decide. Getting rid of complexes, prejudices changes a person only for the better, and he is justly proud of himself.
