In childhood we are taught not to cheat and at the same time they prohibit telling a familiar aunt that she is fat. The school convinces that knowledge will help to get in life. The office calls for a frank conversation with the leadership and dismissed the first brave man who asked the question. All this is a different facet of hypocrisy and in combination with the sin of the “double-soul sin”. But after all, hypocrisy today is the only norm of mutual relations in society. The article will be useful for those who do not like to pretend, but know how they don’t like pravorubov in society.
What is hypocrisy
Hypocrisy is a conscious pretense of words and deeds, dictated solely by selfish interests. It is manifested by discrepancy of behavior and actions to true thoughts, goals, interests, motives. At the same time, it is a necessary tool for socializing, maintaining good relations with others. Hypocrisy allows society to hide its flaws, so it condemned and claimed at the same time.
Facts about hypocrisy:
In the New Testament, hypocrisy was recognized as the “sin of duplicity” and threatened with a direct hit to hell. The negative behavior of hypocrites was as follows: it is clear that these people fast, pray, give alms not at the call of their hearts, but to SEEM before other people. Pretense is the opposite of sincerity, without which repentance of sin is impossible. And unrepentant sinners never go to heaven.
In classical Greek, "hypocrisy" was applied exclusively to theatrical acts. Translates as "play", "pretend". A hypocrite is an actor playing in a mask. Although actors have always been considered professional pretenders, in the sale and purchase community many professions require virtuosity in the art of hypocrisy. These are diplomats, politicians, officials, lawyers, advertisers.
Popular wisdom also condemned the hypocrites. Proverbs "gently spreading", "curve is not a problem, but woody grief"accurately describe what hypocrisy is. When an insincere person convinces you in every way to cooperate or trust him, and then he will get all the benefits for himself.
In the literature, hypocrisy was an obligatory trait of the character of many antiheroes. In the Russian literature such heroes are most often described by N. Gogol, A. Chekhov, M. Saltykov-Shchedrin, M. Bulgakov. according to the most cited hypocrite motto "To please all people without exception" lived the hero of A. Griboedov and many other bribe takers, embezzlers, flatterers, crooks and scammers from other works.
5 masks of hypocrisy
Most refer hypocrisy to negative moral qualities, and make-believeers are promised terrible punishments. But the ability to hide true feelings and emotions is the main criterion of education, and the desire to speak the truth alone is called rudeness. Sometimes the masks of hypocrisy worn in childhood grow together with their owners to such an extent that people even in adulthood do not understand that they are hypocrites.
Mask number 1. Fear of punishment
Hypocrisy for fear of punishment is a defensive reaction of the psyche, which can manifest itself even after numerous attempts to get rid of a lack.
To motivate a child to sport lying on the sofa is one of the favorite pastimes of many parents. Or try to instill a love of reading without reading a single book. But one thing - just to lecture, and another - to punish offenses. First, the child adopts the skills of hypocrisy from the parents, then the fear of punishment only enhances the effect. The acquired skill passes into adulthood. A trained brain instantly provides memorized phrases and facial expressions, only to avoid unpleasant trials with colleagues, spouses, or leader.
Mask number 2. Fear of becoming a universal ridicule
Hypocrisy for fear of being ridiculed sometimes takes on more serious forms — social anxiety, cataphelobia.
The roots of defensive hypocrisy are also drawn from childhood. Parents criticize the child for the slightest offense, or he suffers bullying of his peers for some "dissimilarity". In order to socialize in adulthood, to protect themselves from a possible psychotrauma, people put on a mask of neglect. They are afraid to trust and open up, hurt themselves again and stumble upon public condemnation. They portray indifference because they are afraid to confess feelings. Or, instead of sharing experiences, they catch on the mask of success, "I am fine."
Mask number 3. Cultural property
Cultural hypocrisy is the observance of cultural norms, the obligatory quality of a person who dreams of being accepted in society.
Sigmund Freud called the mask of hypocrisy a defensive reaction of a person to the aggressive influence of the cultural environment. Leo Tolstoy considered civilized society the quintessence of lies and hypocrisy, and the common people - the embodiment of sincerity and absolute morality. But universal hypocrisy is the basis of culture. People in society agree on the rules of mutual behavior and await their implementation. When we show elementary politeness, we are not so much hypocrisy, as we act according to the rules, we relieve the stress of alienation.
Mask number 4. Deadly truth
Polite hypocrisy is true, spoken in such words that will not stun a person, but will cheer and instill hope.
The main question we need to ask ourselves is whether the other person will be able to accept and sustain the truth. When we understand that truthful information will disturb the peace of mind of another person or worsen his condition (in the case of illness, for example), some kind of varnished truth is a justified measure. Pravdorubov, seeking to constantly speak the truth, in the society do not like. Because there is no "universal" truth. Allegedly, a truthful person expresses his subjective opinion and does not relate it to others. Therefore, for many, enforced politeness is preferable to truthfulness.
Mask number 5. Greed for
Duplicity or self-serving hypocrisy in its pure form is the most condemned, classic vice.
The most unpleasant manifestation is the so-called situational hypocrisy, when a person puts on different masks depending on the expected benefits. For example: in front of a manager, an employee plays enraptured adoration, then in a smoking room he puts on the mask of a “real friend” and scolds the boss along with everyone else. In such cases, the hypocrite deliberately hides his motives and skillfully imitates sincere feelings. This kind of pretense is always offensive, because with prolonged communication, hypocrisy is sooner or later revealed by others.
Of course, regardless of the root cause, hypocrisy remains hypocrisy. But here everything is determined by measure. There are even some acceptable forms of pretense dictated by upbringing, culture, intracommunal agreement. Therefore, negative qualities, like any poison, are even useful in therapeutic doses.
10 signs that help recognize a malicious hypocrite
The feeling that seems to be generally pleasant, polite, smiling interlocutor is not credible, many attribute their heightened intuition. But it’s not always unpleasant to us that a person turns out to be a malicious pretender. To help those who are not in a hurry to rely solely on the sixth sense, psychologists have compiled a cheat sheet.
10 signs by which you can distinguish a hypocrite from a sincere person. Hypocrite:
- He respects only the "powerful of this world", but disrespectful of ordinary people.
- He constantly criticizes others and extols himself, but never utters words of support, sincere admiration.
- Gossiping and dodging, but does not express a true opinion even on a direct question.
- It helps only when it knows that the assistance rendered will certainly pay dividends.
- Uses flattery and excessive praise as the main tool for the implementation of their own plans.
- Promises, offers help even when he is not asked, but in the end does not fulfill anything of the promised.
- He tries to draw attention to his person with stories about good deeds, donations, help.
- He constantly lies, and he does it even in the presence of old acquaintances or being caught in a lie.
- He treacherously reveals other people's secrets and does not feel a sense of regret or shame about this.
- The same fact presents in different ways, adapts to public opinion for their own benefit.
Malicious mercenary pretense in its pure form is extremely rare. But the more points will be noted in the list, the greater the likelihood of meeting with purposeful duplicity. The best means against such behavior are common sense and humor, which allows you to treat your and other people's actions with irony.
Hypocrisy as a mechanism of self-deception
It's one thing when we for some reason pretend to be around others, and quite another when we practice duplicity in relation to ourselves. To determine such behavior in psychology, one of the basic concepts is introduced - cognitive dissonance.
Cognitive dissonance is the discomfort that we experience from the realization of two mutually exclusive and opposite desires. Or we perform an action “as it should”, contrary to our deeply held convictions.
Examples of sweet self-deception:
- We verbally forgive an insult because “it is necessary to forgive”, but in our souls we continue to be offended.
- We suffer from excess weight, but we convince ourselves that the tenth candy in a day is the only way to calm down.
- We regularly repeat positive affirmations, but continue to feel anger, envy, resentment.
- A woman gives birth to children and believes that she should love them, but she does not have such feelings in her soul.
- A man gives all his strength to achieve success and defeat competitors, although he does not feel satisfaction from his own achievements.
Self-development coaches say: when our deep-seated beliefs coincide with actions, a certain resonance occurs and our internal values become a source of additional energy. But when we act according to imposed external motivation and contrary to our own values, there is a dissonance. Such a discrepancy does not just take energy away, but also shakes the psyche and can lead to real diseases.
Fighting discord is largely an unconscious mechanismwhich helps us maintain self-esteem and a good opinion of ourselves. But such self-deception can be manifested by ailments of varying degrees of severity. For example, the banal nausea of displeasure with my actions: I "do not digest" myself. Or a serious malaise, the cause of which cannot be identified by consultations with doctors, clinical examinations and testing.
In order not to experience real pain when there is a discrepancy between personal beliefs and actions, it is worthwhile to gather all the courage and write your own list of inner values. The purpose of the list is to understand what really motivates you the most. After all, those values that we do not confirm with actions are an empty sound and the reason for yet another frustration, despondency over one’s own imperfection. Accepting the fact is the best option for finding inner harmony: our inner values, not imposed values, are a real compass for mental equilibrium.
findings
- When your words disagree with actions - this is hypocrisy.
- Hypocrisy is not just a lie, but a self-serving lie.
- Condemnation of another person for actions that you do yourself is also hypocrisy.
- In any situation, it is important not to lose the ability to think soberly, and with a hypocrite, precautionary measures should be tripled.
- The methods of gaining trust, used for selfish or manipulative purposes, are felt by others on an intuitive level and cease to be trusted.
- Cognitive dissonance is discomfort from actions dictated by expediency, not our intrinsic values.
- Self-hypocrisy can lead to real physical illness.
