Husband hates me: causes and ways to deal with the problem

Relationship spouses are often ambiguous. Love coexists with irritation, and over time, such emotions can turn into real hatred. Psychologists note that the negative emotions of a man to a partner are more often temporary. And yet, one should not let the situation take its course, because the duration of the marriage will depend on the wisdom of the woman and her desire to overcome the crisis.

Causes of Hate

Such a strong feeling, like hatred can not just arise. He always has serious prerequisites directly related to the relationship in a couple. So why can a man hate a woman he chose as his companion?

The marriage was originally his pain, and over time, the representative of the stronger sex finally disappointed in his feelings and began to hate his spouse.
A woman has committed some serious misconduct, radically changing the relationship of a partner to her.
A lady behaves inadequately, is often jealous or makes tantrums, which ultimately affects the emotional state of a man.
A lover has a middle age crisis that turns into hatred for everyone around him.
A man has difficulties at work or in other areas, but without feeling support from the second half, he burns with rage towards her.
Hatred can arise as a result of long-standing psychological problems from childhood. Most often they are associated with a bad relationship with the mother, which ultimately affects the communication with all other representatives of the weaker sex.

Psychologists emphasize that hatred does not arise just like that, and almost always a dark feeling is a consequence of long-standing grievances or childhood injuries. So, for example, if a mother was thrown to a man as a child, he may have a secret anger towards all representatives of the weaker sex. Moreover, the person himself will not be fully aware of what his aggressiveness is connected with.

Problems in the family can come from the woman herself, and a man in such a situation acts only as a source of response. For example, if a woman is rude or indifferent, this can eventually degenerate into mutual hatred. If the lady constantly changes the spouse, he is quite likely to react to this with anger and hatred.

Most often, hate each other spouses are mutual. Often it is connected with the fact that the decision to marry was made in a hurry and turned into only quarrels. Such unions will not bring to the good and often, according to psychologists, make husband and wife mentally unstable, not ready for new relationships.

How to identify male hatred

Despite the fact that hatred is almost always obvious, some ladies sometimes doubt whether men are really so negative. They feel that relationships have changed, but they cannot connect it with the collapse of marriage.

Here are just some signs that will help determine male hatred in time:

beloved is quick-tempered, every comment, every word of the second half drives him out of himself;
a man often behaves inadequately, destroys everything around, is able to raise his hand;
in a relationship, such a person always takes a leadership position and does not respect his wife's opinion;
quarrels with such a person arise from scratch almost every day;
a man who hates his wife often changes, disappears at work for days, just not to spend time with the second half;
the partner often makes fun of the woman in public, trying to make her mad;
the man’s negative also extends to his relatives, as a result of which women have conflicts with them;
he refuses to have children, and if the couple still have heirs, he can also hate them.

Most often the negative in relation to the partner is expressed in elementary aggressiveness, undisguised anger. Often, men do not disdain to use force; assaulting becomes quite normal for such a family.

Psychologists emphasize that in the absence of measures to save relationships, the feelings of a partner will only progress. Over time, a man will be hysterical every day, beating his partner, tearing evil on children.

It is important to understand that hatred can be not only overt, but also hidden. A man brought up with a standard set of values may be embarrassed by a suddenly flared negative to his partner. As a result, he will hide it by any available means.

However, his behavior is still deformed. So, the partner will become silent, secretive and extremely irritable. Literally any comment from the mouth of the partner will infuriate him. In such a situation, you should immediately contact a psychologist or try to resolve the conflict yourself.

Ladies are accustomed in such situations to perceive themselves as victims. However, psychologists advise to consider the problem from two sides. Usually both lovers are to blame for the conflict, and when this is understood, the problem will disappear of itself. If, however, blaming responsibility for hatred only on a man, the marriage will surely fall apart and bury possible joint happiness under the ruins.

Ways to deal with the problem

What if the husband hates his wife, and how can this be corrected? Such questions are asked by many women who are faced with a problem. The first advice that psychologists always give when working with couples is to try to establish a dialogue.

It is very important to talk and not hush up the conflict. Some ladies believe that communication with the beloved will only worsen the situation and give rise to a new conflict. Yes, a man can really become enraged that his secret hatred will become an object for discussion. However, gradually the admonitions of the beloved will be sensible and turn into the fact that the couple will be able to make contact.

In the process of dialogue it is worthwhile to find out why the attitude of a man has changed. Perhaps he learned something extremely unpleasant about a woman, or maybe his feelings simply disappeared. One way or another, one should discuss the source of the conflict and try to eliminate it, because the happiness of both depends on it.

What other methods of overcoming hatred exist?

A woman should try to create maximum comfort, surround a man with such care and love so that he would not have a reason for conflict.
If this does not help, you need to try to take a break in the relationship. Often, the termination of a relationship for 3-4 weeks helps a man to realize how much he needs the second half.
You can try to make a variety of relationships. Joint leave, relocation, experiments in sex can help a man change his attitude.
It should be more often to remember the best moments of life together, trying with their help to awaken positive emotions in a partner.
If a woman has changed or committed another serious misconduct, you need to apologize and prove with all your actions that this will not happen again.
If the listed techniques do not help, it is recommended to contact a psychologist to undergo a course of pair therapy.

First you need to try to fix the problem on your own. If this does not work, you can always contact a family psychologist. Specialist with the help of special games and constant dialogue will help determine the root cause of the conflict and eliminate it.

It is important to understand that the relationship is not always possible to save. Sometimes the mutual dislike of the spouses is so serious that only a divorce helps to defuse the situation. If the lovers continue to live together, it will only inflame the relationship.

Often, a temporary break helps both men and women to realize how much they are attached to each other. However, the break should not last more than a month, and during this whole period it is recommended to maintain verbal contact.

Psychologists advise to arrange romantic surprises, often get out somewhere together. Perhaps, if a man is constantly reminded of happy days, his hatred will end, and he will want to save the marriage.

Sometimes hatred arises from the misconduct of a woman, her infidelity. In such situations, lightning resolution of the conflict should not be expected. It almost always takes a man a few months to cool down and re-start feeling feelings for his wife. He should not be rushed, but it is recommended to prove impeccable loyalty in the future with all his actions.

When it is not worth fighting for relationships

Psychologists emphasize that it is not always necessary to save relationships. Sometimes they are doomed initially, and the struggle for them turns around only mutual suffering. In what cases should not a man be held ablaze with hate next to him?

If his negative has been living for several months and does not disappear, despite the best efforts of the woman.
If the lady herself hates her lover.
If the relationship has long outlived each other, and the spouses are not happy.
If a man does not stop battling.
If the partner is abusing alcohol or illegal drugs.
If lovers constantly change each other, and this has already become a habit.

There is a stereotype that is well established among people with conservative views that partners always, no matter what, should preserve marriage. In fact, it is not. Sometimes the mutual dislike between them is so strong that the continuation of a relationship turns exclusively into misfortune.

Psychologists are advised to analyze their emotions, to talk with a partner. If the lovers are not connected with anything other than mutual antipathy and a few years spent together, the relationship must end.

Pay attention to the behavior of the partner. If a man abuses alcohol, does not stop to beat a woman and children, then you should not fight for such a union. The fact is that such a partner is justly dangerous for others. He is unlikely to change, which means that outbursts of anger will always accompany family life.

Another circumstance that destroys relationships is mutual betrayal. If a man has several mistresses, and a woman takes revenge on him with the same or suffers, the marriage is unlikely to be happy. Mutual claims will continue to accumulate, pouring more and more scandals into the stream. Such alliances are doomed, because they lack mutual respect

However, if a woman realizes that she loves a partner and wants to spend with him for the rest of her life, the relationship must be fought. Psychologists emphasize that while the feelings are alive, the couple have the opportunity to find joint happiness.

Hatred of a man for a woman and its consequences

It seems that everything is so simple: if a man hates a woman, you just need to get a divorce and the torment will end. In fact, such a painful experience has serious consequences for the future, and here are just a few of them:

in the future, it will be more difficult for a woman to build a relationship because she will fear repetition of the story;
the hatred of a husband can give rise to complexes in a woman with whom it will be extremely difficult to cope in the future;
parental tensions will adversely affect the psyche of common children;
constant quarrels can adversely affect the health of both partners.

Perhaps the main problem is the emergence of complexes and the inability to create a new family in the future. After such an unsuccessful experience, both a man and a woman will be wary of a new relationship. Their mutual hostility can turn into a long loneliness, prolonged depression.

If a couple has children, their conflicts will certainly affect the younger members of the family. So a son can adopt the father’s manner of communicating with the opposite sex, which will create conflicts in his personal life in the future. The girl because of the hatred of her father for the mother may begin to be afraid of men, which will result in an unhappy personal life for herself.

And, of course, constant friction affects the physical health of partners. Since ages, they may start having heart problems due to domestic hassle. That is why it is not worth delaying the resolution of the conflict, because the future of all family members depends on it.

Often the conflicts of the parents turn into the fact that they do not have enough time for the children. Younger family members grow by themselves, reproaching mum and dad deep down. This only increases the degree of tension in the house.

Hate between a man and a married woman occurs quite often. This may be a reaction to adultery or a manifestation of an elementary inability to build relationships. Often the representative of the stronger sex hates his beloved because he married her against his own will. This sometimes happens if the couple officially registered the relationship due to a sudden pregnancy or under the influence of fleeting passion.

Psychologists advise women to pay attention to the slightest changes in the behavior of a partner, his irritability, or vice versa, the mysterious silence. Having identified the problem in time, there will be a chance to fix it. However, sometimes marriage brings too many disappointments in the lives of both spouses, and therefore it should not be fought for.