Treason husband - it is always a blow to the heart, and no matter how many years have passed since the wedding day. It is very difficult for a woman to survive this, because the betrayal for most women is a real betrayal for which it is impossible to prepare.
What if this ordeal still fell to your lot? How to behave in case of infidelity husband?
The content of the article:
What you need to do after learning about treason
If the husband decided to leave the family completely
Practical recommendations
Psychologist's comment
Try to calm down
The first thing a woman needs to do if her husband has changed is to try to calm down. It is quite difficult to do this, because not everybody can cope with the pain and grudge that has come over, but it is necessary to start moving on.
Consider this stage as the beginning of a new life, and not as the collapse of everything that you had. Whatever decision you make afterwards with regard to the wrong spouse, you cannot deny that irreversible changes have taken place inside you, which have affected your world view and attitude to many things.
Stop scrolling in your head the pictures of your husband's adventures - what happened could not be changed, so why torment yourself with these obsessive images?
Express your feelings
Tune in to your own feelings. Try to express in words or on paper what you feel. To speak out is what you need now. Here are some simple ways to help you get rid of negative emotions, devouring your inner peace:
- Write a letter to your husband (or his mistress) on paper, telling about your insult, pain. You do not need to send it. Best of all - burn it immediately after writing. When you watch your grievance burn with a bright flame, turning into ashes, you will free your heart from it.
- Invite a close friend, mom or sister and speak out. Try not to dwell on the fact of the betrayal itself and on the curses addressed to the traitor - instead focus on what you are feeling at the moment and describe this as closely as possible to your loved one. Voicing your own emotions helps get rid of negativity.
- Start keeping a diary. There you can write whatever your heart desires. Psychologists say: keeping personal records helps not only to calm down, but also to understand oneself, to understand oneself more.
Consider the situation
Before starting a conversation with her husband, consider possible options for the development of the situation. Understand for yourself what you want. Of course, you need to weigh up other aspects of living together before making a decision to divorce, or forgive and live together further:
- division of joint property;
- children: with whom they will remain, as the likely divorce will survive;
- your financial condition after a divorce (can you immediately find a job if you are currently a housewife).
In order not to break the firewood in the process of a subsequent conversation with your husband, weigh all the pros and cons - so you will feel more confident and calm. Of course, much depends on the position of the husband, but it is in your power to prepare for the conversation, in order to voice what you really want.
Talk to your husband
It is better to postpone a conversation with your spouse for a couple of days after the moment when you learn everything: you will need time to put your emotions in order and be ready to make the right decision. It is not necessary to chop off the shoulder and decide everything at once - this can cause actions that you later regret.
If you feel that you can talk with your husband adequately and defend your own interests, then you can no longer postpone the conversation - the sooner you put all the dots on “i”, the better for both of you.
The only advice before talking with her husband: listen to him first - it is likely that you will hear a lot, which is not expected. Such an act could change a lot in your faithful, so you need to understand what he is ready for in order to save the family (if he wants to).
If the husband decided to leave
What to do if the husband decided to leave the family, and your persuasion does not act on him? Of course, you will not be forced by force. If your man fell in love with another woman, then all your attempts to keep him only hurt you both and adversely affect your children. Do not be humiliated, trying to fight for the wrong husband - in such a situation, he should do it.
If you still want to return it, use your advantages: you know your husband well, his tastes, addictions. Show that only you can take care of him, that you love him unselfishly. Different means will be suitable for this depending on what your husband loves.
Practical recommendations
If you find it hard to cope with your emotions, try these actionable tips:
- When you want to break off and shout at your husband or others, leave the room (lock yourself in the closet, leave the house and walk along the streets) - try not to do
of what you will be ashamed of later. - As soon as you feel a new rush of anger, start doing something: wash the dishes, iron, cook or knit.
- Buy a soft bear, with the most unpleasant to you, and use it as an outlet: you can throw it against the wall, beat it, take out your anger on it. Rough method, but very effective.
- Update your wardrobe and hairstyle - many women change their image helps to tune in to a positive new wave.
- Spend more time with children (or with close friends, if you have no children) - get positive from them.
of what you will be ashamed of later.Whatever decision you make, try not to think about how your life would go if you chose a different path. Our emotional state depends primarily on our attitude to the events taking place. Do not take her husband's betrayal as something that you can never survive and forget - time will heal your wounds, and you will have a different look at those events that now haunt you.
The secret of harmony and happiness lies in our attitude to life. Take all the hardships of life as lessons that teach you something and make you stronger. Do not despair if your family eventually collapsed - it made you free for new relationships, which, quite possibly, will be much more optimistic than the previous ones.
Olga, St. Petersburg
