Are you satisfied with your life? Do you dream to change your unloved work? Or maybe you have long been pondering how to break out of the vicious circle? People, often, just go with the flow with only one desire - to survive. But at one moment they realize that without outside help they are no longer able to get out of the maelstrom of modern life. And even if the whole environment says: “dreaming is not harmful,” you need to find someone who can share practical advice. The teacher, the adviser, the mentor - he has many names, but the goal is the same: to help the student feel happy.
Who is a mentor
Mentor - This is a man with his life philosophy of building happiness. The role of a mentor for students is to help grasp, improve their lives, break through the viscosity of life in order to look at the situation from the outside. The current moment is festive or solemn, routine or everyday, too brief to be neglected.
Missed opportunities or underestimated moments in life - exactly what people regret in adulthood. But there is also good news - the ability to feel life here and now can be learned. And for this it is not necessary to change radically. Small changes in the way of thinking will help to acquire the ability to live in the present as when everyone was a child.
History knows many mentors who can inspire even hundreds of years. They are like guides - they absorb the experience of teachers, pass it through the prism of their own philosophy, experience, and then - share their conclusions with the world. Omar Khayyam, Anton Makarenko, Dalai Lama XIV and Bill Gates - they were students in their time, before becoming spiritual leaders or mentors.
Teachers had ordinary masters and emperors, and today without a mention of the names of mentors, not a single award ceremony, whether it is a prize in journalism or a college graduation diploma, is complete. Writer and motivational speaker Nick Vujcic wrote in his autobiography: "In those moments when you are thinking about the possibility to realize your plans, rely on people who are ready to become your mentors."
What do mentors do
Mentors are often evaluated from the point of view of how much their views on the path to achieving success coincide with their own ideas about it. Coincide - the right mentor. They do not coincide - you can not listen to his opinion. This is the first mistake. To avoid the follow-up, you need to draw a clear line between the concepts of "I want" and "I choose."
10 steps to success when a mentor helps:
- extract dreams from the air, where they hover, then materialize them in clear crystal clear goals;
- create your own scale of priorities for the realization that "I want" and "do" often do not match;
- find your own motivation;
- to realize the student what he is capable of, because he believes in the student more than he does;
- deal with old habits, and at the same time acquire new ones;
- take the first step in accordance with the internal choice, because only the action raises self-esteem and leads to visible results;
- not to give up, not to accept the position of the victim, even in a crisis;
- take responsibility for their actions;
- get feedback without emotion or subjective assessment;
- pause life in order to look at yourself from the side.
All of the above actions are aimed at helping the student to get out of the notorious comfort zone. For many, it is represented as a soft sofa, on which a person receives all imaginable and inconceivable benefits just like that. In fact, a comfort zone is an opportunity for a person to find a thousand excuses for doing nothing. The mentor helps to talk honestly with himself in order to determine the benefits that the student receives in his own situation, even if it is filled with visible discomfort.
Mentor - not just a fan. This is a man willing to listen and support. The methods with which he works may not be completely understood, but they will not allow him to stray from the intended path. On the other hand, a personal example of a person will help save time and energy in order to pass the beaten path and avoid mistakes. Because, after all, a mentor helps a student to become a better version of himself.
How to find a mentor
The first mentors are parents. At the conscious or unconscious level, they pass on their life scenario to the child. School, institute - during the period of training, teachers appear as if by themselves, people realize about their influence on their own lives much later. But with age, everything seems different.
An adult already has his own opinion, and he views life through the lens of experience. But in order to only designate your path, you need to learn how to coolly imitate your teachers. Musicians learn to recreate the melodies of popular bands. Poets imitate the style of famous lyricists. Programmers dream of creating their own GOOGLE. Before you go looking for a mentor, you should ask yourself 3 questions:
- In which area of life I want to achieve success. In the universe, everything is interconnected: personal achievement leads to change at work and vice versa. But if a person plans to develop as a professional, he must look for his own mentor (mentor in the business environment). For conscious work on oneself, which is often called self-development, a Spiritual Teacher is needed.
- What stage of development I am at. In order to get into the Olympic team, a novice athlete must pass several coaches. The first one teaches jogging or lace-up sneakers correctly. And another person leads to the heights of the sports Olympus. At different stages of development, a different philosophy works. For a beginner in any field it is difficult to comprehend the subtleties of the skill of a person at the top.
- What is my personal type of motivation of two possible options: the desire for success or the desire to get away from problems. Someone seeks health, and someone tries to get rid of the disease. Someone wants to earn more, and someone runs away from poverty all his life. The method of the notorious carrot and stick works on this principle.
Mentor does not have to be alone. Sometimes in order to begin the path of your own changes, you need to completely change the environment. The first thing that a person should do in the way of life change is to find "his flock" of like-minded people. When a person finds friends, associates who fully support his aspirations, the changes occur by themselves.
What is mentoring
Mentoring - It is a form of individual support for transferring knowledge and skills from a mentor to a student. This is a way to fix brains with powerful tools. The guarantee of success is probably the most harmful "stop signal" at the start of change. Mentoring does not provide guarantees. It provides opportunities for the implementation of the "jump from a high cliff without a parachute" - in fact a step into the unknown, but with the firm conviction of its own success. The purpose of the mentorship is to help the student to set the priorities correctly, to find the very "own business", for which no additional motivation is needed.
Mentoring is more than mentoring, which involves support only in the professional field. This approach is not new at all, because in the Middle Ages it was believed that the future master must necessarily be an apprentice. Today, he helps newcomers to master the necessary skills, join the team, and also help grow mentors themselves.
Why do you need mentoring
Mentoring in the classical sense does not imply strict restrictions or directives. Mentor acts as a personal example. He helps not only to grow a specialist from a green novice, but over time to prepare him for the position of manager.
Such a program in enterprises has the general name "Training of personnel reserve". During periods of rapid growth of the company or when changing jobs, it is much easier to find a narrow specialist than an employee who is familiar with all the nuances of the organization’s internal routine. Prospects are also beneficial for the employee himself, because they serve as motivation for professional growth.
Mentoring is commercial and formal.
- Commercial. Business partners, coaches in dance, in sports, tutors or teachers are directly interested in the success of their wards. According to the achievements of students judged by the skill of a mentor. The coach, who managed to lead to the Olympic award of one athlete, will be able to do it for the second and third time. A mentor in an enterprise that has trained a specialist can receive a cash reward for qualifying his or her ward. This type of mentoring is more typical of the North American career system.
- Formal. Mentors can be people who do not have material benefits from the success of the ward. The decisive role is played not by the influence of the teacher, but by his experience. The student is not called a protege, but a student. The model of "developing mentoring" is popular in the European system of professional growth. Without a student there is no teacher. You can join a volunteer charity or take care of young employees. And start to collect "your team" bit by bit. People who can not just give advice, but also cheer. Sometimes it will have to accept or gain courage. Who to contact first? To close people. It is a family, regardless of how it relates to professional achievement. These are old men who have accumulated worldly wisdom and are ready to share it with the younger generation. Such relationships are most valuable because they have been built for years. When a person feels himself to be part of a race, he is happy.
Life is a series of choices. Mentor helps to make choices consciously and regularly. Right or Not? This is already a personal matter, because each coach has his own technology, his own set of interpretations. Mentoring is not a mythical path to happiness. This is an opportunity to get out of the fast river and find your own way to the top. Sometimes the road will lead down. This is normal. After all, the downward movement is also part of the journey.
