What to do if love is not mutual: the advice of psychologists

Wondering what if love is not mutual - refer to the advice of psychologists.

Man initially - a social being and seeks by any means to find a mate. This is due to the need for security, procreation, getting emotional nourishment.

What is mutual love?

First you need to decide on the concept of mutual love.

There are two people experiencing attraction to each other. Can one speak of mutual feeling in this case?

Love is not only the desire to be close to a person, to hold his attention, but also the desire to care, help, lead a joint life.

If the vectors of attraction are directed in one direction, then we can talk about mutual love. In this case, both people without coercion they want to be together. They understand that there is something that unites and attracts them.

Love should be distinguished from love and passion. Love - this is a kind of spirituality, a slight feeling of attraction, a desire to know an object, to get in touch with it. Passion - a mixture of burning, bright emotions that cause people suffering, pushing on rash acts.

Love is calm and responsible. There is friendship, emotion and physical intimacy.

Does it exist?

For centuries, love has been studied by philosophers, religious figures, artists, and even doctors.

Not paid attention to her and psychologylike the science of the soul.

Is there really mutual love - the question is very important. As a rule, in a pair one person loves more, the other experiences less vivid feelings.

In addition to emotions, there is search for benefits - why should partners be together besides satisfying mental and physical needs. Here the welfare factor often comes to the fore.

Of course, mutual love exists, it is on her that the strongest pairs are built.

But given the fact that the feeling undergoes various changes in its development, real, mutual love comes after the difficult life stages have been passed, priorities have been set, and the personality of another person is valuable.

Is there a formula for mutual love and a happy marriage? Opinion psychologist:

Why say that it is not?

Often there is an opinion that mutual love is just a myth. This is due to the fact that people have a feeling manifested in different ways.

One loves brightly, trying to give the partner maximum attention, the other one shows restraint, but this does not mean that they are not there.

We are not always capable control yourself and the desire to be close to others. If we like a person, this does not mean that he will reciprocate.

Each of us has our own ideas about the ideal partner, and they may not coincide with the vision of other people. You can't be made to love just because we have feelings ourselves.

You can try to attract attention, arouse sympathy, attraction, however this is completely does not guarantee the emergence of true love.

Almost every person had disappointments, unsuccessful relationships, some divorces, several marriages. This situation and forms the opinion that mutual love does not exist.

Signs of Reciprocity

How to understand that love is mutual? People in love send each other different Signals to help you understand what interest is:

eye to eye;
facial expressions - smile, facial expression;
gestures to help you understand that you are interested in a partner: turning the head, body, open poses when you are near;
tactile contact - people who have feelings, try to touch each other, hug, give kisses;
in the early stages of a relationship, insecurity may appear, an embarrassment from having sympathy for another person;
the desire to be alone with the individual, to meet as often as possible;
the appearance of a desire to enter into intimate relationships;
you want not just to meet with a partner, but to live with him, start a family, save her.

Mutual love is felt as a kind of energy that unites two people together.

Men can be more restrained in expressing their feelings. They tend to show love with gifts, care, and offer of intimacy.

Women are more emotionalit is important to them tactile contact, time spent together, romance.

The best way to find out how strong feelings are is to talk. Ability to conduct dialogue helps to solve many problems. If you allow understatement, it means that the relationship will always be present uncertainty in the partner and his feelings.

Unrequited feeling: what to do?

What if love is not mutual?

Unfortunately, mutual love is not found in all cases interactions of two people.

Feelings can be unrequited, causing moral suffering.

Sometimes people even dare to live together, common causes - unplanned pregnancy, the search for benefits, the desire to get married, because it is so accepted in society or all the friends are already married.

Non-reciprocal love is absolutely not a reason to immediately break off relationships and part. People are united by many moments, and you can live near by simply having friendly feelings and respect for your partner.

However, for this to happen, there must be some kind of joint goal that allows marriage to exist for many years.

If love is not mutual:

Learn to keep emotions under control.
Accept the problem to be solved. Unrequited love can interfere with normal life.
Do not rush to start a new novel, hoping that everything will be forgotten. The common expression "wedge wedge knock out" does not always work and will only lead to the fact that the next relationship will be unsuccessful.
Assess your chances - is there a possibility to win the attention of a person and is it worth doing.
If you want a person to forget, keep contact with him to a minimum.
Borrow your mind with other thoughts: about work, hobbies, creativity.
Get rid of negative attitudes. Events in our life are directly related to how and what we think. Stop pushing yourself to the bad, let there be more positive things in life.

Harmonious personality is not looking for recognition of other people., her love is present, as part of the personality, its foundation. It is very important to understand where you came from the need to search and receive love without fail.

Often the reason is childhood, when the child did not receive the required dose of attention and warmth. And now, as an adult, he is desperately seeking this love in partners.

In this case, the best way out is work on your personality traits, identify the causes of the obsessive need to seek reciprocity from other people. Changes in yourself entail changes in relationships with loved ones.

What if love is not mutual? Tips in the video:

How to find reciprocity in a relationship?

How to attract mutual love in your life? Everyone dreams of mutual love. This is an opportunity to create a strong, stable family. However, to come to her, you have to work a lot on relationships and your personality.

Pay attention to yourself. What makes you attractive to another person, what qualities of your personality make you special, why an object should choose you.
Be active. If you sit and wait for the one you like, he will come, then there is a chance and not to wait. The love object must understand what is attractive to you. However, there is a fine line here - your behavior should not be too intrusive, frightening.
Evolve. A diverse personality is more interesting.
Be mysterious. This causes a desire to learn more in you, to reveal the secret sides of the personality.
Respect yourself. People treat us the way we treat them.
Do not be available. What do you feel about the person who, on the first date, agrees to an intimate relationship? Most likely, as a one-day entertainment. If you want a long relationship, then you will have to approach the physical contact responsibly.
This is not so important for men, for them sex is most often a way of meeting physical needs, but they respect the affordable woman less.
Try not only to take and demand, but also to give. Mutual love is based on the exchange of energy, care, ability to show attention and help at the right time. Fight your own egoism and consumerism.
Look around. The person who will become dear to you is quite likely now passing by or working near you, living in the same yard or traveling with you on the same bus.
Be open to the world. Closed people try to avoid. They are afraid and do not understand, and building relationships with them is not easy. For some, openness is an innate quality, others have to learn, rebuild themselves.
Finding a loved one near you, appreciate it. We often miss our happiness when we slide down to the level of mutual reproaches, criticism, blackmail, the notion of "you should." This negative kills feelings.

The desire to necessarily find mutual love may lead to frustration. Reduce the significance of this feeling in your life, and then it will appear naturally.

How to achieve reciprocity? Find out from the video: