The question of why some people achieve success, fulfilling all their desires, while others, no less talented and worthy, “remain outside” is still relevant. The reason most often is simple: the first category is self-confident people; the second is just not enough. The article will talk about what constitutes self-confidence, how it can be improved and why you should be careful with the “dosage” of a useful trait.
What is overconfidence
Self confidence - it is self-confidence; the desire to move forward, develop, eliminate weaknesses, not engaging in self-flagellation. Quality, like other peculiar to man, refers to acquired, not innate. Its formation is influenced by various factors, including education, material and spiritual benefits, status in society, the environment and others.
Self-confidence can be compared with medicine - in large "doses" it cancels the benefit, bringing only harm. People suffering from its excess, rarely achieve heights, because they lack the ability to be skeptical about themselves, the results of their activities.
Overconfidence
This quality does not help to achieve something - more often it breaks off good beginnings. He who possesses excessive self-confidence cannot be critical of himself and of what he is doing. It seems to him that any of his creations is a priori beautiful, does not require revisions, and critics are just jealous. In this case, it is almost impossible to admit to yourself the mistakes made.
It would seem that there is nothing terrible in overconfident self-confidence - many would not hurt to become more assertive, to be able to dismiss useless criticism. But the problem is still there. Criticism is not always useless, it is important to listen to it, to be able to notice the shortcomings of what has been done. It is important to stick to the golden mean - to respond to reasonable comments and ignore the evil comments.
How to increase self-confidence
People reaching heights in their favorite business are not only talented and goal-oriented. They are confident, and this quality helps to achieve their goals. The artist, writing brilliant paintings, will remain unknown if, instead of organizing exhibitions, he will be tormented by thoughts of his own lack of talent. No one will know about a talented writer if he puts the manuscripts at home, in a secluded corner.
Self-confidence is needed for an adequate response to criticism: a willingness to correct mistakes and dismiss non-constructive statements of others. Complexes interfere with moving on, prompting them to abandon their favorite activity after a couple of negative comments. Confident personalities continue to engage with double zeal, with the main goal considering the achievement of goals, and not proof of the rest of their own talent.
There are some effective tips to help increase self-confidence. They are more global compared to the recommendations to pick up things on the figure, more often photographed and remember compliments, but they work much more efficiently.
Understand the essence of criticism
Criticism is considered destructive, designed to belittle. But in reality, it only represents an assessment of something (appearance, performance, etc.). Critical evaluations are both positive and negative. Listening to any opinion is a useful skill along with developing critical thinking. Redoing everything for others is not an option, but considering yourself and your stories / drawings / photos to be impeccable is also a bad idea. Criticism may be aimed at improving, correcting deficiencies; It is useful in moderate amounts.
Notice their own victories
If you managed to get rid of a bad habit for a month, learn to go to bed earlier and wake up without an alarm clock, go on a healthy balanced diet - this can already be considered a great achievement. Some things go unnoticed because the result is not lightning fast. But they just should be allocated.
The complete image consists of trifles; personality is formed due to small, at first glance, changes. It is worth encouraging yourself for even minor achievements, but do not stop, but move on. By setting the right direction and taking even small steps, one can reach heights that earlier seemed unreal.
Be able to laugh at yourself
Nothing boosts self-esteem like the ability to smile at your own blunders. Everyone at least once in their life put on ugly things, went outside in a messy form, smiled at a man / woman’s dream with dill or poppy stuck between their teeth, said stupid things, confused the directors and their films, got the wrong number, fell out of the blue, cried out for trivia. This is absolutely not scary, and often even funny. Here are just a laugh at a loved one strength is not enough.
Adults are used to being serious, and such irony is equated with humiliation. But only self-assured can joke over their own mistakes. They do not need to maintain the status of inviolable and wither all those who make a joke to the "royal person". It should be easier. The environment will not be considered to be able to sincerely laugh at themselves as stupid - on the contrary, they will appreciate the ability for self-irony, which is rarely found.
Do not be afraid to make mistakes
The council partially continues the previous one. Some events in life make us feel disgusting - a break with your loved one, a dismissal, an unsuccessful project, a breakdown of contacts with old friends ... It often seems that other people are not guilty of this, all responsibility is shifted to themselves. But everyone makes mistakes, you shouldn't be afraid of that.
Bad relationships are a bad excuse for spending the rest of your life alone / one bypassing attractive women / men per kilometer. After dismissal, it is advisable to look for a new job or rest (if possible), and not to tear your hair with shouts of "how to find a dream profession, it is unrealistic." Given the experience of past mistakes, shortcomings, it is easier not to allow them in the future.
Familiar fear - fear of doing everything wrong, as we would like. Because of the fear of "imperfection", you can fold your arms, forgetting that you need to act. Without trial and error there will be no experience, no result. It is more efficient to do everything imperfectly, wrongly, but to learn from it, than to live with the thoughts “it’s better than bad”.
Focus on your desires
From thoughts that peers have become presidents of companies, earned on a foreign car and a yacht, confidence will not increase. But you can save self-esteem, wondering if this is really the ultimate dream. Many are not ready to take responsibility when they run a company - they are much more comfortable and interesting in an ordinary position, even if it is less profitable. Yes, and the boat can be associated only with seasickness. A person who follows other people's dreams, is guided by the others, is doomed to lose self-confidence. When he ceases to follow the others with envy, switching to his own desires, life becomes more comfortable, brighter, fuller.
Rejection of derogatory comparisons is the beginning of a new path. Confidence in strength strengthens the spirit; it is much easier for a person to invent new projects, communicate with others, generate ideas, and achieve goals. He cannot be stopped by angry statements like "you will fail," ridicule and other dishonest ways. Self-confidence gives tangible benefits that should be used to the fullest.
