We live in a society, therefore common phenomenonoccurring almost every day is a conflict.
A conflict that involves at least two participants is interpersonal. Examples and ways to solve interpersonal conflicts will be discussed in the article.
Psychology and concept
What is interpersonal conflict?
Interpersonal conflict is a conflict between individuals during their psychological or social interaction.
Usually in the course of such conflicts there is an exchange of charges.
During interpersonal conflict the parties take all the blame, shifting responsibility to the partner with whom the conflict occurs.
This does not solve the situation, since the accusation in itself inflames the conflict, and it inflames with even greater force.
Examples from history, from literature, from life
Interpersonal conflicts haunt humanity from its origins. The Bible also tells about the two brothers Cain and Abel. Cain envied his brother and killed him.
- History knows many examples. Starting from conflicts on domestic soil among ordinary people, ending with various ideas about the future of the state among leaders. The history of the conflict is known Ivan the Terrible with his son, during which the king killed his son.
In literature, narrative is often based on a conflict between two parties.. In Russian classical literature, Onegin’s conflict with Lensky is known, during which one kills the other. In Pushkin's story The Undertaker, there is a conflict between a group of artisans and an undertaker, who are scoffed at because of the nature of his work. Turgenev also has a conflict in the novel Fathers and Sons, where the clash of old installations of one generation with the more innovative views of another takes place.- In life, interpersonal conflicts are found everywhere, starting in kindergarten. You can start a squabble in public transport, to participate in the conflict with a colleague at work.
Many can remember how they could not get along with a classmate or teacher, no one is immune from this.
In literature, narrative is often based on a conflict between two parties.. In Russian classical literature, Onegin’s conflict with Lensky is known, during which one kills the other. In Pushkin's story The Undertaker, there is a conflict between a group of artisans and an undertaker, who are scoffed at because of the nature of his work. Turgenev also has a conflict in the novel Fathers and Sons, where the clash of old installations of one generation with the more innovative views of another takes place.Causes
The most common cause of interpersonal conflict is intersection of interests of one individual with interests of another. The most common situation: one person in the bus is hot, he is trying to open a window, but another is blowing out of the window and there is a conflict between individuals.
Of course, you can immediately stop this situation, if people could listen to each other and compromise. For example, ask someone to change seats, do everything calmly without recriminations.
Unfortunately, it's pretty hard to plead guilty, easiest to blame someone.
People often conflict over resources when not enough at all.
When people find themselves in difficult conditions (lack of resources for life), they can sink to the level of savages.
In everyday life, the lack of something also often manifests itself. For example, in a prestigious job there is competition in several people into place. It is very likely that a conflict will arise on this basis.
Also the cause of the conflict becomes human intolerance: to the opinions of others (even if it does not concern anyone personally), appearance or behavior. One person can be quite active in communication, this is unacceptable to other people.
Differences in cultural values also provoke conflicts. This is especially common in families where the values of one generation diverge from the values of another.
At work, often people are in conflict because of social differences. The boss may order to do what the employee thinks is wrong.
If two employees have different ideas about the goal of the team, there will be a conflict on a domestic basis, because everyone sees their own way to the goal.
About the causes of interpersonal conflict in this video:
Classification: Types and Types
May allocate motivational conflictsthat affect participants' plans.
For example, in a family there are different views on raising a child, on his future, husband or wife, against how a spouse spends money.
A boss, for example, can cancel an employee’s vacation by transferring him to another term. If a interests are incompatiblethen this can lead to dramatic development.
It becomes difficult to come to an agreement, for example, if there is one TV in the family, the wife’s favorite series is on one channel, and the husband’s favorite team decides on the other channel. It is impossible to combine interests, and if conflict occurs frequently, the marriage will disintegrate.
Exist cognitive conflictswhen two participants have a diametrically opposite system of values. The value system reflects what is most important for a person at the moment.
If we are talking about work, then a person decides whether his work will be only a source of money or the path to self-realization.
Cognitive conflict may occur if the spouses different ideas about family goals. The entire system of values includes all those attitudes that are most important (for example, philosophical and religious).
Of course, it is not necessary that people will conflict if they have different values.
But conflict will surely happen if one of the individuals encroaches on the values of the other, to doubt their importance.
If two people have the opposite view of things, then it is possible that when trying to change another person conflicts will occur. This also applies to situations where people tend to rehabilitate adults, change their attitudes and habits.
Role conflict occurs when one or both parties to the conflict neglect the rules of behavior and communication. This may be a violation of etiquette (although no one talks about him, but this is self-evident in society) or a breach of contract in business.
This can lead to claims, mutual recriminations. People can break the rules of conduct, because they are not familiar with them in the new team.
If a person deliberately violates the rules of behavior, then this may indicate that he does not like the situation, and he wants to reconsider it.
Often a child in adolescence begins to be rude to parents. This may be due to the fact that he I do not agree with the existing rules.
Special features
The first side of interpersonal conflict is dispute object.
The second side is the psychological part (the level of the participants' intellect, upbringing).
Exactly this distinguishes interpersonal conflicts from political.
This makes conflicts between individuals so different, different from each other. People are drawn into the conflict completely, manifesting in it all their features.
Quite often, the psychological side covers the subject of the dispute, it becomes not so important, everything goes into mutual reproaches. In conflict neither one of the parties is not trying to understand the opposite, transferring all responsibility to an opponent, removing it from itself.
Manifestations
Spheres of conflict are most often divided into 3 areas: family, workforce and society.
In a family, conflicts go along the lines of spouse-spouse, spouse-children, spouse-relatives. Perhaps the defiant behavior of one of the parties.
Often in family conflicts takes place material side and recriminations in lack of funds. There may be a restriction of freedom, jealousy, attempts to control one of the spouses. Perhaps the presence of sexual problems in relationships with spouses.
AT work teams conflicts go along the lines of chief-subordinate, worker-worker, worker, non-working.
There may be conflicts in connection with the disagreement of the distribution of resources, responsibilities.
There are also psychological sidewhere the employee or the boss finds out interpersonal relations, culture of behavior, etiquette.
In a society, conflicts arise most often along the lines of person-person, person-society. The most common cause is insufficient culture of behavior separate individuals.
How does the development mechanism arise?
Every person have their own interests and aspirations. If, in the process of achieving a goal, another person gets in the way, a conflict will arise. There is a gap in the relationship between the individual, as the consciousness immediately analyzes it as an obstacle to the goal.
If the relationship is more important than the goal, then the conflict can be settled. If the goal is more important, the confrontation will heat up.
In a conflict, a person will try to prove his case, bring a mountain of arguments and devalue the arguments of the other side.
The conflict is filled with emotions, and not every person can control them. Parties to the conflict are skeptical of any compromises., believing that their decision is the only correct one. Indoor installations exacerbate the conflict, and it flares up even more.
How does interpersonal conflict arise? Find out from the video:
How to behave?
First of all, in a conflict, you need to assess who is in front of you.
If a random person from the street who scolds you, then you can just get away from the conflict.
For example, you accidentally stepped on your foot, you just need to apologize.
If a person is close to you, and he has some specific complaints, then you need them listen and offer your solution. But for this, it is necessary for a person to be in a state of calm, because agitated people often do not want to listen to other people's arguments.
If a person offers some kind of solution, does not agree to a compromise even in a calm state, then here you will be offered 2 scenarios.
In the first variant, you agree with the person and accept his arguments, in the second variant you will have to say that his proposal is unacceptable, and you have to stop touching this question or even terminate the relationship.
Ways to resolve interpersonal conflicts in this video:
Ways of resolution and principles of overcoming
As they said, famous psychologists "We fish for a worm, although we ourselves love strawberries." To the opposite side of the conflict went to his resolution, you need to give her what she wants, and at the same time, promote her point of view.
One of the principles of overcoming interpersonal conflict is not personal communication, but correspondence, good, modern means of communication allow doing this. Offer more and listen more. Try to ask questions to the partner about how he sees the way out of the conflict.
If you prove your partner’s arguments are incorrect, your conflict may from business to develop into psychological. A person will simply refuse to accept your rightness, he will, from the principle of defending his point of view, even realizing that he is wrong.
Prevention methods
Prevention is respect for the rules of decency, etiquette.
It is necessary to behave politely with everyone, so as not to give cause for irritation.
In the work you need follow the chain of command, strictly perform their duties.
You never need to express harsh criticism, even if it seems to you that you are right. You should never clash in a raised voice, it is better to get away from the conflict and continue to sort out the subject of the dispute in a relaxed atmosphere.
Also good prevention is the choice of suitable partners in communication and in family life.
It is quite difficult to conflict with those not inclined to clarify the relationship, and all business decisions are made with a cool head.
Although interpersonal conflicts haunt us all our lives from its beginning, we hope that you will be able to solve them constructively and without serious consequences.
How to avoid conflicts? Example:
