The word "betrayal" can have many definitions. But above all, it is a loss of trust in things important to a person. Most importantly, betrayal is never foreseen. This happens unexpectedly and entails sharp emotions that destroy feelings, emptiness in the soul and deep pain.
It is absolutely impossible to unequivocally answer the question: "Forgive or not forgive the person who betrayed you?" Each individual person has the notion of betrayal, individual. For some, a simple deception can be a betrayal, but for someone a deception is a common prank. Everything depends on the person, his worldview, perception of reality. As a rule, the traitor is a close enough person to whom we are not afraid to turn our backs. People who we trust are betrayed and we pin any hopes on. The more we believe a person, the greater the pain of his betrayal.
Betrayal can be different - betrayal in the family, betrayal of a business partner due to material gain, betrayal of a friend. In any case, two ways out of the situation are considered - to forgive or not to forgive the traitor. It is completely dependent on the person, the depth of his pain and shock from the experienced perfidy.
Before you decide to forgive or not to forgive, analyze your relationship and try to find the cause of betrayal, which pushed the person to such a despicable step. After all, he is not in a jiff decided to do it. Most likely, he thought before committing such an act. Most often, the reason for the betrayal lies precisely in the person whom they betrayed. It is necessary to find this reason, to find its shortcomings, which entailed such consequences. And, oddly enough, to ask for forgiveness for an unintentionally committed evil. Believe, you will feel better. You can, if not forgive your offender, then at least clean your soul.
Find someone who can listen to you. Tell us about your trouble. Most likely, having voiced your experiences, you will see that everything is not as scary as it seems at first glance. And until you calm down, it is better not to take any action. Perhaps by next morning your pain will subside a bit.
Forgiving betrayal in family relationships
- Analyze your feelings, decide for yourself what should happen in your soul so that you can forgive the traitor. If he realizes his mistake, asks for forgiveness, confesses his love, while your heart at this time is trying to find an excuse for it, it penetrates pity for his pleas. You remember the past years together, the general plans for the future, dreams. And at some point you drop pride and forgive. At such a moment, warmth spreads in the soul, calm comes.
- If you have forgiven the traitor, you have become calmer, you hid your painful feelings experienced in the far corners of your consciousness. But then the question of trust arises - will it be the same as before? Perhaps you will occasionally have thoughts that he is capable of another betrayal, that someone may appear between you again, etc. In this case, think, are you able to forgive a person? If you do this, maybe such thoughts will haunt you for a long time, from time to time there will be suspicions, perhaps unfounded.
- Forgiveness for your own benefit. There are many couples in which the wife or husband prefers to pretend that he does not notice deception, betrayal. This is done in order to preserve financial position, social status, etc. These people practically betray themselves, can not accept the bitter truth. External calm fights internal pain. Usually such people are very unhappy and are constantly fighting with themselves, putting up with betrayal.
- Not every person is capable of sincere forgiveness, even if the traitor repents and in every way proves readiness for reconciliation. If a person does not regret his betrayal, then he does not need your forgiveness. If you do not want to break off relations with a traitor, then you need a great strength of mind, the ability to overcome internal pain, in another case, the insult will reach for you, eating away at your soul.
If it so happened that you had to endure treachery, then try to learn from this the appropriate lessons. Try to find in this the positive side. Such experience will make you stronger, help you in future life to adequately deal with difficult situations, teach you to forgive, save you from the fear of loss.
To forgive or finally break off relations with the person who has betrayed you is only your decision personally, it is a deep work on yourself. No one except yourself can make this choice. Neither the advice of relatives and girlfriends, nor the reading of various reputable books and publications will replace your inner voice, your feelings. Trust yourself, draw conclusions and choose - to forgive or leave forever, forgetting about the existence of this person.
On this topic:
How to forgive the betrayal of a loved one - 5 tips
How to get rid of depression - personal experience
