Psychologist's advice: what to do if your husband changes you?

Every woman hopes that her partner will be faithful to her and never look to the side.

But, unfortunately, statistics reports that so many men are prone to intrigues on the side.

If after all the husband has changed, then what to do? Psychologist tips will help to understand such a difficult situation.

Causes and psychology of infidelity

How to understand why my husband is cheating on me? Let's name the most common causes of adultery on the part of husbands:

You and your relationship have become a habit to him.. No fresh pleasant emotions, solid routine. You do not treat him with tenderness, as before, but even a little cool. So he wants new sensations.
You have a relationship at a distance. If for some reason you haven't been together for a long timethen he may begin to look for ways to satisfy his sexual need.
He needs self-affirmation. Many men believe that the number of women he put to bed reflects their masculinity.
And there is another opinion: if he works hard and achieved great heights in his career, then he deserves a mistress.
He lacks attention. If you are constantly busy with children, work, home or anything, only on your own husband, then he can go to look for care and affection on the side.
You stopped caring for yourself. Yes, over the years, beauty fades in women. But you can always support it in various ways! Banal self-care has not been canceled.
He was bored. At home all the same, at work, too, nothing changes. The days are alike. A man wants to add bright colors to his life. And they may well become a mistress.
You are too in control. Men love and highly value their own freedom. And if you constantly check his phone, require passwords from all social networks, check his browser history, track his communication and make constant scandals about likely changes, then sooner or later the husband can not withstand and really get on the side.

What is looking for a married man on the side? The real causes of male adultery:

What does a man feel after cheating?

Most often, immediately after the betrayal man experiencing euphoria and joy, even some inspiration. But when this wave comes off, he begins to think whether he acted correctly.

And here a feeling of guilt may appear, though not at all. A man can even represent the reaction of his wife, if she suddenly finds out about his infidelity.

But if a man decides to treason again, and then again and again, then he soon ceases to experience both joy and guilt. He becomes accustomed to this situation, it becomes completely normal for him.

What if he himself confessed?

What if the husband still told you about his adventures?

For a start, take it easy. No need to immediately arrange a tantrum and chase him away. Think, because if he confessed to you of infidelity, then he repented.
Stay alone with you. Think about whether you can live in peace further, knowing that this man was with another? No secret resentment, the desire to take revenge. Know that it is not easy.
Now talk to your husband again. Find out from him the reason for treason and ask how he sees the future.

Walking and not recognized: how to be?

What if my husband changes and lies? If you somehow found out about treason, but you can’t get any recognition from your husband, then pay attention to the following points:

Talk to your husband. Find out from him what he thinks about your relationship, what he likes and does not suit. Perhaps you will discover many new things.
Don't push a man. Give him time to think about his betrayal and prepare for a frank conversation.
Help your husband. Try to gently push him to talk, make it clear that you are configured to adequately and constructively discuss the problem.
Do not throw out a storm of your emotions. Yes, you hurt and hurt. But to a conversation with a man come with a cold heart. Cry, yell alone with yourself, and only when you realize that you can calmly react to this topic, return to an unpleasant conversation.

What to do if a man changes? Psychologist tips:

How to behave and what to say?

Such a conversation does not pass without a trace for both parties. Both you and the man will be difficult and painful to discuss this topic. But it can not be avoided.

No need to make a scandal, pour charges and insults. First of all, report that you have doubts about his loyalty or proof of treason. And give him a word.

After he confirms his deed, calmly ask why he did it, what he lacked in your relationship and how he sees the future. Listen carefully answer, and then tell me how you feel and what you think about your relationship now.

I hate your spouse for betrayal

How to calm down and recover from the betrayal of her husband?

To control yourself and treat your man adequately after you learn about treason - extremely hard.

Therefore, the first thing to do to avoid breaking the wood is to retire and think about everything. Are you ready to forgive it? Can you temper your hatred? Or will each time you look at a husband represent him on the other?

Take a break for a few days. Get together and decide everything for yourself. And if you decide to put an end to the relationship, then you should not be afraid and worried. You have every right to do this.

If you decide to keep the family, then you will have to make a lot of effort to return the relationship and trust to the previous level. To do this, you will need to talk a lot and discuss the problem, as well as treat your husband with understanding.

It will be necessary to drive away every negative thought concerning his betrayal or hatred towards him.

And only after long and hard work above yourself you will be able to treat your spouse well again.

What to do if a husband has a mistress? Primary actions:

Is there a family life after what happened?

Real stories:

Anna, 32 years: “I fell in love with Maxima from our first meeting and thanked fate for what we met. Soon we got married. I was absolutely happy until I saw him with another woman. And since then my life seemed divided into two parts. After long tears and reflections, I decided that I would not keep him. If he likes it there, then let him go. So he told him, and he almost in tears, so he begged to stay. I apologized constantly, gave gifts and flowers. At some point, I gave up, and he returned home. Now 2 years have passed, we seem to be living quite well, so we are waiting for our first child. But, you know ... Trust in him never returned. Just now there is no time to think about it. ”;
Olga, 45 years old: “My husband is such a simple man, big and unsightly. I did not think that someone would put an eye on him. Never even worried about cheating. And then I learned that he had been cheating on me for about 5 years. At first he denied everything, I repeatedly collected my things. My husband swore that there would be no more of that, and then I learned that he had taken the old and was walking with her again. Gradually, just the attitude to all this has changed, has become humorous with respect. Somehow this woman called me, said that I was disturbing their happiness. But I don’t keep him, let him go! But he does not want him well with me. That's how we live. But he sort of stopped walking left. Understood, perhaps, that except for me he needs no one ”;
Catherine, 35 years old: “Our city is small, and Igor did not hide the fact that he has 2 mistresses. Then he got Marina, with whom he cheated on me for about 8 years. I knew about it, but never raised the conversation. I am his main woman, and she is secondary. I was worried about this for some time, I thought that our family was just a theater. But what is really there if, in principle, everything suits me. For the most part, he is a caring husband, there are no problems with money, he loves children, and me too. So she just resigned at some point ”;
Inna, 27 years old: “I immediately felt that he cheated on me. I hoped that it was just a little affair and we would soon live as before. But then she saw that he was directly in love with her. What to do, I decided to fight for my happiness. I made the family take up all his free time: they went to friends together, relatives in the nearest cities, and even went shopping together. Then the repair started, too much time spent together. Gradually, I felt that the threat had passed and that was all. ”;
Elena, 30 years old: “We were so happy. A year after they met they got married. I was an exemplary wife: order and comfort at home, always a delicious dinner. Yes, and took care of herself: in the gym, to the beautician. And then I learned from friends that he had 2 years as a mistress. Roared of day 3. He did not confess at first, and then told me that he had changed by drunk, and then somehow everything began to turn out. I did not know what to do. She loved him madly, so after much deliberation she decided to forgive. He promised to stop everything with her. In general, we lived like that for another year, with hysteria and distrust. And then I filed for divorce. I can not. I look at him and immediately remember how I betrayed him. I do not regret the divorce. I think that if a person really loves, then he will not change. ”

If you changed a husband or a loved one, what to do? Personal experience:

How to restore a relationship?

How to return a husband after adultery? If you decide to bring your husband back to the family, then use the following tips:

Try to understand the reason for treason. Something went wrong? Why did he decide to have an affair? This will help you to understand which way to go next.
Take care of the appearance. Such a change will help a man to look at you in a new way. Perhaps he has even the old feelings break out with a new force.
Find a hobby. This will help you to distract from the incident and to attract the attention of her husband.
Stop controlling him. Men love their freedom. And if you give it to him, he most likely will not change it.

How to learn to trust? The most difficult thing after treason - to restore the relationship. It takes a lot of strength. But you must understand that there will still be no previous trust between you. But you can try to work on it:

Understand that cheating won't be forgotten at the click of your fingers. It can take a lot of time and effort. Be prepared to work on yourself.
Talk to him. Long and long. Discuss everything, express your feelings. This will help you get closer.
Consult a psychologist. He will teach you how to forgive your husband, help you understand your feelings and begin to re-trust your husband.
Notify your spouseThat you do not trust him as before. But you can try to learn it, only you need his help and support.
Concentrate on the positive. It will be difficult, but you need to constantly celebrate his actions, which show his good attitude towards you.

I can not believe my husband again after treason: what to do? Not all women can continue to live with her husband, after they learn about adultery. What if I can not believe my husband?

Learn to build your relationships together. Your husband must be patient and teach you to trust him again.
Consult a psychologist. If you don’t manage it yourself, then a competent specialist will work on your offenses and help you move on.
Go away. Yes, it's hard. But if you can not believe your husband, then why such a family life?

What if the husband is constantly changing? How to improve family life?

Understand that constant treason will not cease. One thing one-time affair, and another - a regular lover. So you can either put up with this state of affairs, or break up - the choice is yours.

What to do so that the husband never cheated?

Follow these tips:

watch for yourself. Men love to see their wife nice;
be interested in his affairs. Sincerely ask how his day went, what was interesting, how are his parents. If he is not in the mood, ask what happened and, if necessary, give advice. Support him in everything;
watch your emotional state. If you constantly grumble and take offense, then who will like it? You also do not need to supervise him, to monitor every step;
don't be addicted to it. Men do not like it when a woman completely submits to their will. It must have a rod. So let you have your own interests, time to meet with friends and various hobbies. Do not give all your free time to your husband;
Diversify the intimate life. Try new poses, costumes and experiments.

Forgive treason or not - it's up to you. But be sure to make your choice consciously and deliberately.

Husband changed! What to do if you find out about treason? Tips sexologist: