People come to the desire to relate their destinies, experiencing bright mutual feelings, see their future marriage long and happy. Why does divorce statistics increase every year? What destroys families? The reasons for a divorce in each case are individual, but often differ from those that are indicated in official documents.
Why do people get divorced?
Families are destroyed for various reasons. The following are the most common ones:
- Early marriage.
The optimal age for marriage is 22 years and older. At this age, young people usually have acquired a profession, are able to work and provide the financial side of living together, have life goals and plans. Up to this age, both boys and girls are most often financially dependent on their parents, have no long-term relationship experience, and tend to idealize a partner. For these reasons, early marriages are short-lived.
Young spouses grow up, they form their own views on life, which can be completely different. Disorder of life, inability to provide for themselves, as well as unwillingness to take responsibility for the welfare of the family lead to divorce in this case.
- "Empty Socket Syndrome".
For this reason, many strong families are destroyed after 20-25 years of marriage. Adult children leave the parental home, and the spouses are left alone. The feeling of emptiness, caused by the realization that youth has passed, has reached a mature age and is approaching old age, visits both partners. Often, spouses come to the conclusion that all that kept them together and made them put up with each other’s shortcomings over the years is raising children, the need to educate them, to help them realize themselves in life.
The man and the woman are still young for new relationships and the realization of their personal plans. Divorce in this case is not the worst option. It is much worse when people, because of the fear of a lonely old age, are afraid to face the truth and prefer to continue their outdated relationships. In such a situation, it is important to maintain mutual respect and a sense of gratitude to the former spouse for their joint years of life.
- Financial difficulties.
Unfortunately, financial troubles in most cases lead to serious disagreements between husband and wife. If the income is not enough for the maintenance of all family members, someone from the spouses has to deny themselves the desired. There are quarrels on this basis. When debt obligations (mortgages, loans) are added to this, the spouses are morally suppressed by the situation and are moving further and further away from each other.
Spouses after a divorce in this case, most often awaits disappointment, since material difficulties do not disappear with the end of a relationship. We must try together to find a way out of the current situation and save the family.
- One spouse morally suppresses the other.
The authoritarian style of behavior of one of the partners may cause a divorce. In such a family, roles are distributed according to the following principle: "dictator" - "victim". The spouse, acting as a dictator, imposes his opinion, neglects the needs and desires of the partner, takes all important decisions alone. Sometimes the "dictator", in addition to moral pressure, uses physical violence against other family members.
In this case, the marriage can cease to exist for two reasons. In the first variant, the initiator of the divorce is precisely the “dictator”, who is bored with the submissiveness of a partner, he loses respect for him, does not see him as a person. In the second variant, the patience of the “victim” comes to an end, and she decides to break off the oppressive relations.
- Different temperaments.
When partners do not live together before marriage, in everyday life it sometimes turns out that they have completely different temperaments. For example, a girl is calmer, a homebody, she prefers watching a movie or reading a book to active entertainment. A man wants to spend more time in nightclubs, noisy companies, at parties at home with friends.
In most cases, the divorce due to the incompatibility of the characters of the spouses occurs in those families in which the man and the woman did not have time to study each other well before marriage.
Psychologists recommend to take such a decisive step as the creation of a family, not earlier than after six months of a relationship. This period will help to know the partner, his habits and preferences, which will avoid unpleasant surprises after the wedding.
- Sexual dissatisfaction.
Intimate relationships of spouses play a big role in creating a harmonious marriage. If one of the partners ceases to enjoy intimate life, to have sexual interest in the spouse (s), family life is threatened. Increases psychological stress, dissatisfaction of partners with each other. Often sexual dissatisfaction leads to adultery and divorce.
Pay due attention to your sex life. Your differences within the family, problems at work, financial difficulties should not affect it. When you find yourself with your spouse in the same bed, everything else should be left out. Bring a variety of intimate life, try to give each other pleasure, and you will see how your family life will change for the better.
- Birth of a child.
With the advent of a new family member, the relationship of spouses is changing. The birth of a child is a serious test for both women and men. Intimate life fades into the background. The child takes all the time a woman. The husband is fully responsible for the financial situation in the family. If both spouses worked before this time, or the wife could pay much attention to the man, then with the birth of the child the head of the family begins to feel overwhelmed.
A woman after childbirth is experiencing difficulties associated with changes in her body (external, hormonal), lack of personal time, as she is constantly forced to stay close to the infant. Separation and misunderstanding arise between spouses. If this is accompanied by an unstable financial situation in the family, then divorce is difficult to avoid.
This situation will last only 1-1.5 years after the birth of the child, it will be much easier further. Spouses need to find in themselves the wisdom and patience to survive this turning point together. Show care and understanding towards each other. The result is worth the effort, it is - happy happy family in the future.
Egoism leads to family dramas
Selfishness is the main cause of the destruction of many families. He is the factor that leads to misunderstanding, lack of respect from the spouses, physical violence and betrayal flourish on this basis. To create a harmonious and happy family, one of the most important factors is the ability of partners to make compromises, to yield to each other.
Love, mutual understanding and respect do not arise from scratch. This is the result of work on each member of the family. In marriage, it is important to be able to forgive, listen to a partner, set priorities correctly. The foundation for a strong and happy family are common goals, life values, support in overcoming difficulties.
In any situation, divorce can be avoided if both partners wish it. It is important to be able to conduct a dialogue, to strive to solve problems that arise, and not to run away from them. Remember why you once decided to marry and start a family. Put these reasons on one side of the balance, and on the other, the reasons for the divorce. What will outweigh? The answer to this question depends on you.
