Often the question arises: what to do if the relationship is at an impasse.
Psychology gives the answer and helps get out of a difficult situation by keeping the union.
Signs of wilting
Relationship never not stable, periodically there are crises, misunderstandings, people get tired of each other.
Sometimes mutual understanding goes away, and further it is not clear whether it is worth keeping the relationship.
How to understand that they are really stumped:
- constant quarrels;
- no trust;
- Lying;
- partners tend to spend less time together;
- pressure from one of the partners;
- unwillingness to compromise;
- appearance of a potential or real opponent;
- rare intimacy compared with previous periods;
- leaving home;
- intervening in the conflict of other people - parents, children, friends;
- loss of emotional intimacy;
- dissatisfaction: life, work, family, partner, self;
- fear of living together, lack of desire for one or both partners to take a more serious step - to register a marriage, to give birth to a child.
Your man should inspire you. If only negative, criticism, attempts to humiliate come from him, then such relations are doomed to failure sooner or later.
Do you want to suffer all my life next to those who do not perceive you as a full-fledged and equal person? Your person will encourage you, support you in difficult times, and not show indifference and indifference.
After some time sharing, ask yourself: are you satisfied with man?
Of course, everyone has disadvantages. But if the relationship suits you, then you can put up with some shortcomings.
Of great importance sexual compatibility. It seems at first that this is a minor problem, especially since at the peak of romance your intimate relationships are bright.
But then differences in preferences, frequency of contacts are revealed, and this also often becomes the cause of quarrels and misunderstandings.
One of the signs that your relationship is at an impasse is that you do not develop together. That is, everyone lives as if by itself.
One partner at the same time may strive for development, the other is comfortable with the comfort zone in which he resides. Different needs, pace of life, goals again become causes of misunderstanding.
As a result, you start to think - what's next, do I have prospects with this partner?
What to do: tips of psychologists
So, you understand that the relations are deadlocked, you need to urgently do something, change, otherwise collapse is inevitable.
Guys
Relationship with a girl stalled: what should a guy do?
Your girlfriend does not want to do what you want. She had her own interests, she is moving away more and more.
It is likely that respect for you is lost. Do you feel all the same affection, want to preserve and develop relationships? What to do in this case.
- Rate how truly relationships are important to you.
- Think do they have the same meaning for a girlhow for you? The best way to learn is to talk.
No need to guess and think out, know how to build a dialogue, but without criticism and complaints, and with the desire to find a compromise solution.
- Grow yourself. What have you achieved at this stage of life? What is your job? Do you want to have more or are you satisfied with that level of well-being and profession? I must begin to change from myself, and not demand it from others. If your girlfriend does not see you as a promising partner, then her disappointment can lead to the search for another candidate. Therefore, you will have to meet her requirements or look for someone else.
- Be interested in the events in her life. When was the last time you asked how she was doing? Are you not interested? Then why do you think your girlfriend will be interested in you. Relationships are fueled by mutual interest. But do not build a dialogue in the form of interrogation. Just ask: what was new today, how was the working day, meeting with friends. Listen, listen and do not pretend.
- Remember, the need for tactile contact. Girls need a caress - hug, take by the hand, iron your hair before going to bed. Tactile contact brings and calms. Do not hesitate to touch your partner on the street - take the girl by the hand, hug the waist.
Take control of your emotions. This is not easy, but if in your relationship the prevailing negative emotions - anger, irritation, anger, then the gap is close. Try to be positive, create mood, and first of all yourself.
The girl does not like to be next to the gloomy and always dissatisfied guy. Change your attitude to life if the prevailing mood is pessimism.
Be sure to take time to be together - go to the cinema, go for walks, arrange dinners and picnics. However, do not limit your world only to you two, otherwise there is a danger of being tired of the presence of a partner. Good discharge - meeting with friends.
Deushkam
Relationship with a man stalled: what should a woman do?
You really like a man, you understand that you would like to continue to communicate with them and, perhaps, live life and start a family.
But there is a crisis in your relationship, and you do not know how to deal with it.
- Do not despair and do not panic. Look at the situation with a realistic look, rejecting emotions, assessing, analyzing your relationship: at what stage you are now, for what reason conflicts arise, whether both parties are interested in partnership.
- Talk. Learn more about each other, goals, motives, future plans for life. The dialogue should be conducted in a positive way, without reproaches, interrogations - you just want to get to know the person better.
If he does not yet want to answer any questions, do not rush, do not insist - show maximum friendliness.
- Change. If you are the same all the time, nothing new happens in your life, then you are not interested in other people.
- Constantly strive for developmentdon't stop there.
- Do not live only man. For the stronger sex, there is a certain contradiction - on the one hand, the partner wants his woman to always be there, to fulfill his wishes, but on the other - too docile and the executive quickly becomes uninteresting. It does not need to conquer, it is not going anywhere, so why not spend it time.
- Decide for yourself - do you really need this relationship in perspective. Why are you together, what keeps you near your partner. It is possible that your relationship is suitable for the type of "toxic", then you need to urgently work on yourself, but it is better to visit a psychologist.
It is very important to understand whether the man himself sees the perspective in your relationship or he perceives them as a temporary phenomenon.
Unfortunately, many women realize too late that they were only a "spare airfield"and when a brighter, more interesting, active, rich one appeared on the horizon, the man begins to look in her direction.
Bad habit - try to change another person and impose their views on him. Change yourself, and then close people will pull after you.
Each person is free in his choice, so if your man does not want something, does not do it, this is his personal decision. You can only begin to look at your life in a different way, to change it.
In the same time no need to fully adapt to another personYou must remain a person.
As mentioned above, a man is actually interested in a self-sufficient woman with an active lifestyle.
Do not dissolve in a partner, stay yourself, and then you will be interesting to him even if you are 40, 50 and more years old.
Couples
What should a husband and wife do if the marriage is at a dead end? Family life consists of several stages, each of them ends with a crisis.
Unfortunately, not all couples successfully survive the crisis period, many are divorcing.
However, if you approach the family relationships correctly and take into account the dangerous stages, you can save the union and make it stronger.
- Do not make a decision on the peak of emotions. Large quarrels often lead to the fact that one of the spouses leaves the house. Think before you collect things.
- Develop trust - share with each other what is happening, personal experiences, but do not criticize, but support.
- If one of the partners says that he wants to take a break and rest from family life - this is alarm bell. Talk, before deciding to leave for a while, it is likely that this will not be necessary.
- Learn to compromise. Misunderstanding arises because everyone wants to achieve his goal, completely ignoring the interests of the partner. But if you decide to live in a family, it means that you need to find solutions that will satisfy both parties.
- Arrange a romantic trip together. Leave the children to relatives, go to nature, resort or just to the neighboring town to have a good time.
- Try not to push each other. Relationships destroy phrases: you should, why you did not, you are mother, father, you have to do, you do not do anything, you are useless, etc.
- Children should not be witnesses of quarrels. Moreover, do not try to pull them over to your side. For children, this is stressful, but, being in troubled relationships, parents often do not notice what kind of blow is delivered to the psyche of the child.
If, despite the ongoing quarrels, the partners still feel that they need each other, there is still hope that the relationship can be forged. However, this requires the desire of both parties.
Analyze for what reason you have conflicts, who provoke them, how spouses react. Many quarrels are easily prevented just by learning to ignore the little things.
For example, everyone wants order at home, but an unclosed tube of toothpaste - no reason for inflating scandals and disturbances in the family.
If you are really tired of your relationship, monotonous life, then make changes in your life. What is stopping you? Change your place of residence, work, hobby, make new friends with completely different interests.
Even the rearrangement of furniture in the house already affects your mind. The human psyche needs a change, new events, otherwise life becomes fresh. So in the family.
Monotonous life, scandals for the same reasons tire, cause the desire to flee, hide or just become indifferent and not pay attention to what is happening.
To break the deadlock need to work on them, change reality and change yourself. Start with yourself, show your partner that you are active, purposeful, optimistic, and he will have no choice but to begin to change himself to fit the new reality.
What if the relationship is deadlocked? Find out from the video:
