If a woman is silent for a long time and is in constant thoughtfulness - expect trouble. Such an idea can often be heard from men. And sometimes it's true. If the lady has gone into herself, she is tormented by some question or she is tired. Moreover, some individuals actively show their dissatisfaction, openly expressing emotions. They are easier to assist in case of trouble. Others prefer to think everything over, “digest” in themselves. Problems from these women almost never. But is it easier for them?
What are the pros and cons of unity? And what if it is too long?
Care in yourself - is it dangerous?
Psychologists say that there is nothing wrong with occasionally spending time alone with yourself. Moreover, it can be a useful exercise, because solitude:
- allows you to better know your true desires;
- helps to analyze the current situation, life in general, to draw the right independent conclusions;
- makes you understand the chaos around, putting everything on the shelves;
- frees, gives a good rest from other people's emotions, imposed opinions and stereotypes;
- stimulates to set new goals, think about the best ways to achieve them;
- teaches to take care of yourself, to love, to accept and appreciate yourself;
- relaxes, drops the burden of fuss from the shoulders.
Particularly acute need for regular healthy privacy feel introverts. They do not avoid communication, they are able to receive pleasure from it. However, conversations, other people's experiences take away their power. Time alone with them helps them recover their inner energy, rest, and then re-enter people. This is a temporary measure.
But what if the need for silence and emptiness lasts too long? In this case, the situation faces alarming consequences:
- conscious isolation from society, loss of work, beloved work, friends, relatives, livelihoods;
- decrease in emotionality, expression (external expression of feelings);
- the development of depression, neurotic states, apathy or psychosis;
- loss of interest in life and all its components;
- suicidal thoughts;
- physical illness motivated by psychosomatic problems;
- loss of landmarks, the complexity of getting out of the oppressed state.
If there are at least 2 such signs, it is an alarm signal. Given the seriousness of the situation, it is better to start to deal with it immediately. But how?
What to do when left in yourself - 6 steps
Get to know yourself, find the main problem
Once the recess in itself has already happened, you can take advantage of it. This will require a desire for self-examination and a deeper acquaintance with yourself. At first glance, everything seems simple enough. However, in fact, self-knowledge leads to difficulties - the recognition of their own mistakes, the need to change themselves. Not everyone can do it. For such a move you will need all the desire to live happily, motivation, strength. How can you recognize yourself:
- pass psychological tests;
- visit the office of a personal development coach, a psychologist or a psychotherapist;
- fulfill your little spontaneous whims;
- listen to intuition;
- to meditate;
- keep a diary, write down plans, desires, goals, thoughts, feelings;
- think about the reasons for their actions, analyze their consequences;
- try something new - from an unfamiliar coffees to a balloon flight.
One of the psychological methods suggests using a clean sheet and a pen or pencil in order to get closer to yourself. The paper is drawn in four equal parts. In the resulting cells are written:
- exciting issues;
- the most joyous moments experienced;
- actions that were not committed because of fears, excuses;
- risky steps, something that was scary to do, but the panic was overcome.
Why do you need it? The difficulties laid out on the sheet seem to be less complicated, because they were realized and accepted. Joys from the past are motivation, proof that happiness is worth the effort. Regrets resulting from imperfect actions are the result of isolation, the rejection of a full life. Overcoming risk, decisiveness, described in the 4th cell, is a treasure. The successful completion of such cases is the argument that sometimes it is better to fold the patterns, trust yourself, take a chance. Failed moments are an experience from which wisdom spills.
Relax
The next step will be rest. At this stage it is important to gain strength, energy for future decisive actions. In this case, it is better to devote time to yourself:
- watch your favorite movie, series or read an interesting book;
- play a musical instrument;
- take a nice bubble bath, light scented candles;
- get enough sleep;
- play with your pet;
- sing or dance until no one sees, hears;
- do your hobbies;
- order food at home, getting rid of cooking, long fees in a cafe or restaurant. Sometimes eating sushi in an old faded sports suit, with chaos instead of hair, with a sleepy face is the best pleasure.
However, this relaxation is better not to delay - will become a habit. As soon as the forces are restored, it is time to move on to the next stage.
Go outside
It would not want to sit at home for an extra day, but it is advisable to explore the outside world. Find out how product prices have changed, for example. It is not necessary to immediately go to the weekly trekking or join the crowded crowd at a big concert. Enough:
- visit a small cozy cafe with delicious cuisine, muffled music, large windows;
- go shopping (books, grocery, textile - any), and not necessarily buy something;
- go to the cinema;
- visit an amusement park, landscaped park;
- feed the birds in the square, near the reservoirs;
- order a horse ride;
- ride a bike;
- buy ice cream, find a shop on the main street, sit down and watch the passers-by, nature, weather.
Meaning - to change the situation. It distracts from tightness. Ideally, it is desirable to meet someone. However, if this is not yet desirable, or it is terrible to decide on such a move, it is not necessary to force yourself. After going through the following steps, you can easily get rid of these problems.
Change habits
It would be good to quit smoking, biting your nails, sorting out with alcohol or tapping your fingers nervously on the table. But in this step, it concerns not only bad habits, but also good or neutral. If at the previous stage it was important to change the situation around, then this phase requires a change in yourself. Now more attention is paid to the rejection of personally created standards, labels, templates. What can be changed:
- type of breakfast (instead of coffee - scrambled eggs, instead of scrambled eggs - oatmeal, instead of oatmeal - pancakes or pancakes, etc.). The same goes for dinner, lunch, afternoon snack;
- any route - to work, mail, to the store, salon, home;
- own image - clothes (colors, styles, styles), accessories, shoes, make-up, manicure, hairstyle;
- mode of transport, including public, as well as bicycles, skates, rollers, even skis;
- the order of usual actions (for example, starting to paint the nails with the right hand, and not with the left, as always);
- working hand - to work more with the left hand, if the person is right handed and vice versa;
- occupation - both work and leisure.
Why change the already fixed habits? With such changes, the brain begins to work more actively, learns to quickly switch between different tasks. Boredom, routine, feeling of constant fatigue, melancholy disappear.
Workout
Everyone knows about the advantages of healthy lifestyles, sports, it makes no sense to list the benefits of this way of life. Except one.
Proper regular exercise increases self-esteem, self-confidence. Exactly what is missing a woman who has gone to herself. These qualities are so important because they help:
- achieve your goals;
- perceive defeat as experience, additional knowledge, motivation to try again;
- meet people of any status;
- overcome fears;
- set clear objectives, successfully fulfill them, move forward;
- be yourself, respect, love your inner world, appearance;
- enjoy achievements without regrets, notice happiness.
Sports activities will help open up, prepare for the next crucial step.
Tell about yourself
It is very difficult for a person deep in himself to talk about himself, his own experiences. This rule applies to both outsiders and loved ones. That is why the previous 5 steps are so important - they prepare for the most important stage.
Who and what to say?
Yes, anyone - a neighbor on the landing, a mother, a psychologist, a random companion, a new acquaintance in a bar. And anything about yourself - experiences, preferences, thoughts, attitudes, plans, goals, innermost desires.
The main thing is to understand that the outside world:
- not as cruel, as terrible as it is described;
- integral to normal life;
- full of unpredictable joys, wonders, surprises;
- allows you to find yourself, your own happiness, vocation;
- opens up new opportunities, gives amazing chances;
- teaches, motivates, inspires.
If a woman is tired of constant communication, went into herself to take a temporary respite, there is nothing to worry about. However, prolonged solitude threatens with loneliness, depression. Time spent alone with yourself is valuable, but only up to a certain point. If there is no desire to return to society, no one is needed and nothing is wanted - it's time to change the situation. The tips in the article are the first steps of self-help. However, for a better effect, consultation with an experienced psychotherapist would not hurt.
