Envy can be felt by any person, even the one whose life develops successfully.
it negative feeling invariably entails the emergence of pronounced discomfort, feelings of inferiority, negative emotions (such as sadness, irritation, anger).
Some people begin to hate a jealous person and may try seriously harm him: initiate persecution in the team, use violence, even trying to kill.
What is this feeling?
Envy - This is a negative feeling that arises when a person sees the progress of other people, their positive qualities, opportunities, pleasure, joy and realizes that he wants the same.
This feeling is most intense when the probability of getting what the other has is minimal or absent altogether. Patients envy healthy, old people - young, poor - rich.
But envy does not bloom from scratch. People who are satisfied with their lives, have adequate self-esteem (not understated and not too high) and managed to achieve a lot, rarely envy.
May occur slight envy, which will not be accompanied by deep negative feelings.
If a person is dissatisfied with his life, feels inferior, has a bunch of complexes and unfulfilled dreams, he will often experience this feeling.
What emotions envy? Emotions that may arise on the background of envy:
- sadness, sadness;
- irritation;
- aggression, anger, anger;
- anxiety (for example, caused by the thought that you can never achieve the same, no matter how hard you try);
- insult.
Each of these emotions may have different severity or absent altogether.
For example, a calm, peaceful melancholic is unlikely to experience anger and anger, but will certainly feel sadness, longing, anxiety.
Envy refers to feelings. There is a difference between feelings and emotions.: Feelings are always attached to an object, and emotions do not have such anchoring.
Types of envy
Main types:
- White It can even be called "positive", because it almost never leads to negative consequences and can have a beneficial effect.
This is the type in which a person practically (or not at all) does not have negative feelings towards an object of envy and does not seek to cause him any harm.
Even the discomfort that occurs when a person is jealous, can be absent or manifest very weakly. This feeling can push a person towards development, increase his motivation, the desire to be better than others. This type is also called competitive envy.
- Border In this case, the person experiences tangible negative emotions, feels depressed, upset, offended, can reproach himself for something that does not correspond to the level of the one he envies. At the same time, he well understands that what he is experiencing does not give him the right to treat badly those who are better than him. He tries to keep himself under control, minor notes prevail in his emotional state, but there is no aggression and anger or almost no. However, he is able to experience negative feelings towards an object, especially if there are grounds for this, but rarely gives them the will or does not give them at all.
- Black Accompanied by an extensive range of bright negative emotions. A person dislikes or hates the one he envies, and can purposefully try to harm him. Such people often break down on someone they envy, insult him, and may resort to physical violence. To restrain them is difficult. In rare cases, black envy becomes a pretext for committing crimes.
Each of these types can manifest itself in varying degrees and go into each other, as well as soften, especially if the envious person realizes that he is not doing the best and tries to find solutions.
Why is that bad?
There is a stigmatization of negative feelings in society, because they spoil image of the "ideal" personwhich you need to focus on.
A person who is not sad, does not suffer from mental illness, is always in a good mood, is sad only on very significant reasons, does not get angry, earns a lot, is never tired and inoperable, has a lot of developed skills and never gives anyone problems. Even to myself.
But the truth is that people throughout life will face negative feelings and emotions, fight with them, find ways to calm down. It's unavoidable.
Negative feelings have a weighty similarity with positive ones: both are a reaction to the existing reality, to the conditions created.
People are not able to forbid themselves to feel negative and positive feelings, but can only react in time to their appearance and determine exactly how to behave.
Every negative feeling should be treated as something what to work with, as a task to solve.
If a person who has envied someone starts to shame himself zealously for this, be angry with himself, try to drive the feeling deeper, it is only aggravate his mental state, add anxiety, strengthen the feeling of inferiority.
Suppress negative emotions - in principle, a bad path that increases the risk of development of complexes and mental diseases, which increases the level of stress.
It is important to recognize the existence of one or another negative feeling and start looking for a constructive solution that will get rid of unpleasant feelings and at the same time will not lead to the commission of illegal actions.
Negative feelings, including envy, can really be called bad. Mainly because they create internal tension, attract other unpleasant emotions, painful memories.
But the fact that the person felt them does not make him bad. We all feel negative feelings in different periods of life, we try to fight them, and this is normal.
It is important to respond to envy. Look for ways to eliminate it, do not allow yourself to cultivate hatred, do not behave inadequately, do not offend anyone.
About people first of all speak actions. And the bad is not the one who envied. Bad is the one who went on about this feeling and caused someone harm.
Negative sides
Why not be jealous? Main negative sides:
- It can lead to the development of mental diseases or exacerbate existing ones. If a person even before the collision with pronounced envy felt depressed, had low self-esteem, was in a state of stress, his mental state could worsen even more. She is able to become a trigger that triggers negative feelings towards herself, depression, a feeling that life is meaningless and can never change anything.
- Its presence is accompanied by internal discomfort. Her very presence of joy does not add: other negative emotions always come with her. As a result, it is more difficult for an envious person to concentrate on what is important for him, to relax. His self-esteem may fall.
- May push a person to commit bad deeds. But it is important to understand: only a person decides how to act.
If the person who feels the expressed envy does not have sufficiently strong moral principles, he is not empathetic enough and is prone to aggression, such a person can really cause significant harm to the object of envy.
If a man goes about envy, he can do a lot of bad thingsmost often including:
- insults of the one to whom envy is directed;
- attempts to put it in a negative light in front of as many people as possible;
- the desire to deprive him of what he has (up to the commission of serious crimes such as murder, deformation of the person with acid);
- the use of various types of violence (emotional, physical, even sexual);
- search for the weaknesses of the object, the knowledge of which would allow more effectively to cause harm.
How does it affect a person envied?
What actions are envy pushing?
One or more active envious people can seriously impair the life of a person who is envied.
The consequences of envious activities:
- a person envied may experience mental illness, especially depression, neurosis, anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder;
- his self-esteem may deteriorate;
- if the depression that developed due to the actions of envious people is too aggravated, the person may commit suicide;
- it will be more difficult for him to perform his job duties, to study;
- his somatic health may fail if envious people decide to resort to physical or sexual violence;
- he will feel helplessness, resentment, irritation and other emotions that will negatively affect his state of health and mood.
Psychology tips
To overcome the bad feeling, listen to the advice of psychologists.
How to learn not to envy? How to live your life?
It is impossible to completely exclude the likelihood of envy, but it can be reduced.
How to remove envy? Key recommendations:
- Fight against mental illness, fears, complexes. In order for strong envy to appear, it is necessary that a person not be pleased with himself and his life, feel himself not good enough.
It is impossible to get rid of envy if you do not start working with the root causes of its occurrence. This will help qualified psychologists and psychotherapists.
- Determine what you want from life. Think about what gives you joy, and how you want to see your own life, where you want to work, with whom you want to communicate. Make a plan of action and try to follow it.
- Refuse to communicate with people for whom envy and hatred are the basis of life. It is difficult not to envy others, if all close friends are the same envious, for whom it is a joy to get together and start discussing those who live better, insult them, make fun of them.
- Remember what you can value yourself for. Think about your talents, skills, abilities, positive traits. Constantly remind yourself of what you are worth, especially during difficult life periods. And try to improve.
- Communicate with pleasant people more often, take a walk in the fresh air, do what brings you positive emotions. It is also useful to find a hobby that will enthrall you, provide an opportunity to relax after a hard day, relieve internal tension, find like-minded people.
It will help you make your own life. pleasant, interesting, bright, a part of which I want to be constantly.
If a person got rid of mental diseases, learned appreciate yourself, I realized what really needs, envy will not chew on it.
Sometimes it can appear, but it will be weak, one that can be easily managed.
Is it possible to stop envy others? How to get rid of envy and become successful?
It is important to separate the concepts of “get rid of envy” and “become successful”. Success consists of many elements, therefore, getting rid of negative feelings, you will not automatically become successful. In order to achieve success, it is necessary:
- work systematically on yourself and your life;
- work with negative emotions, learn how to react to them;
- constantly develop, get new skills;
- leave the comfort zone;
- be able to cope with stress;
- timely treat mental and somatic diseases;
- to look constructively at reality and use all the conditions in order to achieve the desired;
- be able to identify priorities.
A truly capable and purposeful person can even turn his own envy into an instrument to achieve high results: for example, start using it as energy to fuel his own motivation, while refusing to harm anyone.
What to do when you are jealous and when you are jealous? Opinion of a clinical psychologist:
