This is a continuation of the article "why people do not meditate." Here I will write what other reasons, in my opinion, prevent people from getting all the benefits of the practice of meditation. The purpose of this is not to list the possible reasons for refusing to meditate, but to try to deal with these reasons and eliminate them. After all, I believe that in order not to meditate, there are practically no valid reasons! I will try to prove this in this article.
Since I have already analyzed three reasons in the last part of this article, I will immediately begin with reason 4.
Reason 4 - “Meditation is nonsense.”
So it turns out that people are trying to automatically form an opinion about what they have a bad idea. This is how the human mind works. There is no need to go far for examples. Look at the number of "opponents" of evolution theory on the Internet. Most of these people did not even open high school biology textbooks. Nevertheless, they want to have their own opinion about a rather complex scientific problem, without making any effort to form an adequate opinion (I'm talking about training, studying biology, etc.).
People can not always say: "I do not know. And what it is, tell me!" They prefer to say: "I know! And I even have my own opinion! I do not want to listen to anything!"
But meditation is not a theory of evolution. If you can find a lot of scientific information about the latter and such information is easy to separate it from pseudoscientific waste paper, which is also not a little, then with meditation it is more difficult. Meditation is an ancient spiritual practice and various people write about it.
There is no formal license confirming the right of a person to write and talk about meditation and teach her to others. (And in the scientific world there are scientific degrees that indicate that a person understands questions of biology, physics, etc.).
Therefore, on the Internet, mainly in the domestic, you can find a variety of opinions on the practice of meditation. Making an adequate picture of meditation can be difficult. So the reason that meditation is considered nonsense may be not only the militant ignorance of individuals, but also a lot of esoteric materials about meditation. Many people, when they read about the opening of the energy channels through meditation, have a completely natural skepticism.
For the widespread opinion of meditation as incomprehensible fun of hippies and all representatives of the new age are responsible, including all sorts of esoteric "gurus".
In my opinion, meditation is an applied practice for training self-control, awareness of actions and thoughts. It is also a practice that helps to relax, free your head from unnecessary thoughts and get rid of stress. Meditation helps to combat bad habits and psychological ailments (for example, depression and panic attacks).
Meditation is awareness, relaxation, therapy and self-knowledge at the same time. Is such a statement easier to understand than reasoning about the opening of the chakras?
Despite the spread of esoteric texts, information about the applied application of meditation in modern life can be found not only on my website.
Also, if you doubt the applicability of meditation in modern life, you can read about scientific research practices. Information about this is also in abundance found on the Internet. I recommend, of course, the English-language Internet, especially Wikipedia. There is more quality information than in RuNet.
(I realized that on this site there is not enough intelligible article about the scientific studies of meditation. I will definitely write it.)
I urge you to learn, study, and only then make up your own opinion. Try to draw this opinion from authoritative, adequate sources (including from scientific research). And this applies not only to meditation, but to all questions in general. Learn this world, give up opinions based on ignorance.
And, of course, make your own opinion about meditation on the basis of independent practice. As I wrote in the last article, it may be too early for you to talk about what the practice can give you, and what it cannot give, until you yourself try to practice meditation regularly.
Reason 5 - There is no effect.
"Hello, Nikolay. I have been meditating for two months now, but so far I have not felt anything."
I often get such comments. In this case, the first reason why a person can quit the practice is that he is waiting for an instant effect. He does not intend to endure, and wants to get everything at once.
What is most interesting is that such a person can consider quick means of achieving the desired state (drugs, alcohol, pills, etc.) as a real alternative to meditation. A friend of mine said: "Why should I make an effort to sit still every day for some effect, which will not manifest immediately? It is much easier to use antidepressants to relieve depression symptoms or drink alcohol. Why look for difficult ways?"
In fact, quick and easy ways to achieve happiness or deliverance from unhappiness are not an alternative to meditation. Here the choice will be this: either quickly easily, but ineffectively, temporarily and possibly harmful, or long-term, but efficiently, forever and usefully. These two alternatives lie in different planes and therefore cannot be alternatives. Either you find a temporary way of relief, or you are aiming at working on yourself and real help.
Change of personality, elimination of deficiencies, getting rid of past habits - all this takes time and work. It will never happen quickly and by itself. Fast and easy means will give you only temporary relief, but you should not expect any qualitative positive personality changes in this case.
Recently, I read a great quote in English: It can be translated as "what comes easy, not forever, and what is forever does not come easily."
Therefore, if you want to change yourself, get rid of your ailments, you will have to work. It takes an effort! So what, what is terrible in the effort? The meaning of any effort is not only in the subject of effort, but in the effort itself!
The applied forces, the regularity of practice disciplines you, trains your willpower, which is so necessary for many people who begin to meditate in order to get rid of personal problems. And the lack of effort only corrupts you, forms laziness and aggravates your problems.
Meditate, you will not lose anything.
The second point due to which the abolition of practice may occur is that the effect is, but you do not feel it. I actually had the effect of meditation in a couple of months (when I first managed to stop a panic attack), but I only felt it in half a year.
Therefore, I tell everyone that they will have to wait, perhaps for a long time. But not until the effect comes, but until the time when you can notice it. Changes due to meditation occur smoothly, gradually. Often, even imperceptibly. But such changes remain forever.
Sometimes an abundance of affairs and concerns prevent us from listening to ourselves. Our awareness slumbers. I was able to pay attention to some changes only when I had a small respite from work in the form of the New Year holidays. Before that, constantly working, I just did not notice anything.
The third point is that people may have wrong expectations about the effect of meditation. They can sit meditating and simply “wait for the weather by the sea” when sudden insights and happiness due to practice just come and knock on their door. "Knock knock, you sat in a fixed pose and watched your thoughts for a long time, so you are given relief and bliss." But people do not always hear this knock and give up the practice.
To get all the “bonuses” of meditation, it is not enough just to sit and meditate, however strange it may sound. You should also apply the skills acquired during meditation, in real life: to deal with your fears, to communicate with people, to analyze, to get rid of stress, to control emotions, etc.
The effect of meditation is not only the “net effect of practice,” but also the result of the training of awareness, self-control and acceptance. Such training is undoubtedly meditation.
I will tell you more about how to use these skills in real life in my seminar, which will be held in Moscow on March 22nd, as well as in future articles and videos.
Reason 6 - Deterioration
People, especially those who are depressed, may experience a worsening condition when they begin to practice. This happens in many people. This happened to me.
Often, these people begin to meditate, including in order to get rid of depression. Therefore, they quit the practice as soon as the condition becomes worse.
That the mood can get worse is natural. And most often this suggests that meditation has begun to act. I wrote about this in the article the harm and danger of meditation. This effect can be associated with the “release” of repressed thoughts, including negative ones, with a sudden awareness of one’s own mistakes and shortcomings, as well as with changes in the biochemical processes in the brain, which are caused by the action of meditation.
This effect is usually temporary. If a significant deterioration of the condition is accompanied by several months, then you should be very careful, probably, to reduce the time of meditation. But in my personal experience and in the experience of my readers and other people, this effect goes much faster.
I believe that the more a person has a negative inside, the less balanced and harmonious he is, the stronger this temporary negative effect from meditation can be, this statement is my personal opinion, which I cannot back up with any empirical data. But still, I think so.
If you suffer from depression, then you should not expect that you will immediately feel better if you practice (although this happens).
Reason 7 - Meditation Can't Change Me
I told my friend, an advocate of fast and easy ways, which I mentioned above, that in order to get rid of his problems he needs something more effective than pills, something that will help him change. After all, the cause of his problems lies in the properties of his personality. And meditation helps people change, get better.
He does not argue with me that the reason for his troubles lies in his personality. But he does not believe in the possibility of changing it.
He says that he is not a robot and cannot reprogram himself.
(In fact, a person, possibly a robot, is a complex automaton, “made” of living tissues, and not of iron and silicon. And its programs are “written” in the language of proteins and nucleotides.)
His words are an expression of the opinions of so many people. They do not believe in the possibility of change, although many of them did not even try to do it. Therefore, they are skeptical about meditation. What can she give them, in their opinion?
They see no reason to devote time to practice every day just for the sake of being able to calm down and bring nerves in order.
They do not understand that practice can bring them immeasurably more than just relaxation. Figuratively speaking, meditation allows you to "open the program code", on which the person is written and make changes to it. If you draw a very rough analogy, then, before many people begin to meditate, they exist only as program code that executes itself. The role of a programmer, a senior manager, is weakly expressed in it (we cannot control our feelings and change traits, etc.).
But as you practice meditation, the role of the programmer increases. It is as if the old operating system of the Apple manufacturer (in which most of the settings are given "by default" without the possibility of change) is removed and Linux (open source operating system) is put in its place.
(I prefer simplicity of complexity on my home computer, that's why I have Windows, but inside my personality I prefer to have more freedom as a "programmer", therefore in this area I am an advocate of "open source".)
A programmer has more freedom and power over a mindless program. He becomes aware ...
This is a very rough analogy, and of course it contains a bit of humor. In fact, everything is much more complicated. But I hope that this comparison will help you more easily understand what meditation gives people.
You can definitely reprogram yourself. And often a person needs a global “restructuring” of the personality if he wants to get rid of his problems.
I wrote a lot about this, so I will not repeat. The great book by Carol Duke - Flexible Thinking is devoted to the problem of human attitudes associated with the belief in the impossibility of changing personality. I advise everyone to read this book.
Reason 8 - I'm afraid to be alone with myself.
Many people find it difficult to start meditating due to the fact that during meditation, their whole inner world is revealed to them, all concealed thoughts and fears are revealed. There is a collision of a person with himself.
Many people are afraid to meet their self. It happens that they themselves do not even realize this fear. All their life they are engaged in unconscious escape from this me. They hide from him under the cover of routine, entertainment, alcohol and socializing. If they are left alone with themselves at least for a minute, then they begin to experience discomfort and tend to interrupt this peace, find something to do to get distracted.
But during meditation come the peace and loneliness that they are so afraid of. And they think, since it causes such discomfort, then meditation is not for them. Or they simply cannot tolerate this feeling and stop practicing.
I like to say that the fact that it is difficult for you to practice meditation is an additional reason to practice it!
If it is difficult for you to play chess for the reason that you cannot keep attention on the game, to keep information about the moves in memory, this does not mean that you do not need to play. This means that you have more reasons to master this game than all the others. You need to develop attention and memory!
The same can be said about meditation. The difficulties with practice, which I wrote about above, are connected with your fear of being left alone with yourself, with your indefatigable anxiety, which constantly drives you away from yourself. You must cope with this alienation, face your hidden thoughts, repressed emotions and hidden fears.
Otherwise, you will lose touch with your personality, with its desires and goals. You cannot know and control her. And your constant escape will never lead you to happiness, you will chase after emptiness. And with each stage of this flight you will further and further move away from yourself.
If you are experiencing severe discomfort, being left alone with your thoughts, this means that you definitely need to meditate, not paying attention to this fear.
Give your brain a rest, let it "process" the received impressions, give it at least an island of peace in the middle of the sea of routine. And I assure you, your brain will thank you for this with clear thinking and mental tone.
Reason 9 - I fear the effects of meditation.
"What will practice lead me to? Suddenly I will change so much that I will no longer like myself? Suddenly I will stop loving what I love now?" Many people ask themselves.
These people believe in the ability to change themselves. They know that meditation can help them in this. But this faith turns fear to them. Fear of losing their habits and affections.
“Suddenly, I’ll stop enjoying the noisy companies? Suddenly I’m tired of spending my weekends shopping; suddenly I’ll lose the taste for the amusement“ on the side ”I’m so used to? These are my little weaknesses and I'm afraid of losing them.”
People who think this look at the effect of meditation as a loss, not as an acquisition. This can be compared to the feeling of an amateur drink in relation to alcohol.
On the one hand, he wants to quit drinking, on the other hand, he is afraid of losing what his weakness gives him: moments of calm, joy, relaxation, frank communication, enjoying taste and effect, some kind of “meaning” that envelops his whole life and directly related to his bad habit.
He thinks, "how will I live without all this if I give up?" In fact, these thoughts are due only to his affection. He is used to linking his life, his positive emotions with the use of alcohol, so he does not see life outside of it.
But he does not understand that there, outside his habit, a completely different life, happier, can be prepared for him. And the joy of this life will be not "attachment to the bottle", but in something else!
Если вы привыкли связывать свою жизнь и удовольствие от этой жизни с какими-то слабостями, то, по естественным причинам, вам трудно взглянуть за рамки вашего сегодняшнего "я", которое получает удовольствие в основном от развлечений, секса, наркотиков и т.д.
Но медитация все меняет. Она не просто отбивает интерес к вашим вредным привычкам. Люди, которые медитируют, как правило, меньше подвержены порокам, так как они более самодостаточны, чем другие. Все, что им нужно для счастья, уже есть у них внутри, поэтому они меньше нуждаются в том, что приносит удовольствие многим людям (алкоголь, курение, постоянные денежные траты и т.д.).
Их счастье постоянно, в отличие от временного удовольствия, которое можно вызвать употреблением наркотиков. Они пребывают в гармонии с собой, и их состояние меньше зависит от внешних вещей. Они всегда могут расслабиться и привести в порядок свой ум, им не требуется для этого что-то еще.
Не бойтесь утратить свои маленькие слабости. Это будет приобретением, а не потерей. Вы потеряете интерес к вашим прежним привычкам не потому, что у вас появиться апатия и равнодушие, а потому что вы приобретете нечто большее, новый источник радости и внутреннего комфорта.
Расставание с прежними привычками происходит на добровольной основе.
Ведь изменения во время медитации будут проходить осознанно. У вас всегда будет выбор, либо оставить что-то позади, либо взять с собой. Вас никто не будет заставлять менять свои привычки. Захотите - измените, захотите - не измените. На все будет ваша воля.
Когда я начал медитировать, я понял, что мне не нужны моя злоба, зависть, вредные привычки и уныние. Я решил этого не брать с собой, потому что просто не захотел с этим оставаться.
Причина 10 - У меня все хорошо
"У меня все итак хорошо, зачем мне медитировать?" Так думают и говорят многие люди. На самом деле, стабильность может быть кажущейся. Как я писал в прошлой части статьи, ум многих людей окутан иллюзией и их представления о себе и своей жизни могут быть ошибочными.
Это я знаю по себе. До того, как я начал медитировать, мне казалось, что проблем у меня не так много. Но медитация обнажила передо мной целую пропасть личностных недостатков и слабостей, о существовании которых, я до этого не подозревал или не видел в них проблемы.
Нельзя изменить и исправить то, о чем вы не знаете. Осознать скрытые проблемы, прийти к более трезвому представлению о своей личности помогает медитация.
Конечно, я не буду говорить, что если человек думает, что у него все хорошо и он при этом не медитирует, то он обязательно ошибается. It is not always so.
Существует множество гармоничных, сбалансированных, здоровых людей, которые никогда не занимались медитацией. Я думаю, что такие люди меньше нуждаются в медитации, чем все остальные. Ведь, часто, медитировать начинают не от хорошей жизни.
Кто-то нуждается в практике больше, кто-то нуждается в ней меньше. Но, каким бы ни был человек, практика может помочь ему обнаружить скрытые свойства своей личности, добиться более глубоко понимания себя и мира вокруг, научиться лучше контролировать свои эмоции и свою жизни и обнаружить новые жизненные цели!
