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Family and Children

How to raise a child without screams and punishments?

Who among us does not like to teach others? And children everybody loves to adhere to the true path.

Especially standing in a pose, raising his voice and moving his eyebrows. At the same time, many people forget, and some do not know that such a manner of communicating with children is not upbringing, but something completely different.

Raising children: concept and psychology

Someone under the education implies a set of techniques that are not always approved by normal teachers for restricting individual freedom sculpturing a small person from the subjectconvenient for adults around him.

But in fact, the result of the process should be the child getting the skills of incorporation into the society in such a way that the benefit of this will be received both by the new member of the society and by it.

Ideally, these skills are desirable. broadcast in the most humane formin the eyes of the teacher, fed by the heat from the fire in the eyes of the educated person because of the desire to learn as much as possible. In fact, it goes far not so fabulous.

And sometimes the parents, somewhat calmed down after another teaching life lesson, even become ashamed of their pedagogical efforts to convey to the children the essence of something there.

But not all. How to go to the category of dads and moms, able to raise children without crying and prolonged moralizing?

Raised child - what is he like?

If we proceed from generally accepted standards, it is expected from a raised child that he should:

  1. To be combed and with a good grasp, like clerks in old Russian films, to keep a snowy handkerchief in the top pocket, not to pick their noses, not to pull girls by the hair, to all grandmothers at the entrance to say “hello” and not to torture cats.
  2. Always “keep quiet in a rag” when an adult is broadcasting nearby.
  3. Do not go into hysterics in the store about the sharp lack of "out of that toy", some product or any other goods.

With regards to the rules regarding cats, girls, nighties in the nose and tantrums in the store - hard to disagree with themBut in relation to grandmothers, the child should be explained that it is necessary to greet only with well-known aunts of old age. And with strangers it is not necessary - they, in fact, there are all sorts.

Regarding the merchant and a handkerchief in his pocket - also a matter of taste and level of progressiveness of views. For example, a bag with wet disposable wipes where more practical and hygienic nosovichka, and the hairstyle under the clerk is no longer in fashion.

And the habit of always silently agreeing with all the statements of adults, judging by statistics psychologists from different countries, direct road to neurosis - at best. At worst, it will result in the inability to resist the unlawful actions of a pedophile or a person with a tyrant's manners.

Another thing is the skill not to interrupt or wedge a “tank” into someone’s conversation, demanding full attention to one’s person ... Therefore, striving to raise a raised child, do not go too far and do it in the interests of yourself and the children, and not the world. Naturally, within reason.

If you want specifics, then we can say that parenting is good if the child is able to:

  1. Take for granted that the statements and demands of their adult, i.e. family member - in priority. If mom-dad said that something must be done, then it must be done. So that the child would not be offended, and if there is time, normal parents explain the need for action.
  2. To understand that "no" is almost forever or until the moment when age will be possible. But not before.

When these clauses are implemented, then children from an early age are easy to learn;

  • use sand, spitting, cuffs, as arguments in the dispute;
  • treat anyone rudely;
  • take other people's things without permission from friends;
  • to take something from strangers in general, if the mom-dad is not around and they are absolutely allowed to use the proposed;
  • throw food;
  • eliminate the need for entrances, parks and other places where there is no toilet;
  • going into the transport, crowded place, pushing others with your elbows;
  • actively warm up outside the game room, playground;
  • litter in the house and on the street.

Methods and styles

In any situation strive for dialogue. Try to explain why it is desirable to comply with a particular rule of conduct. Then it will be remembered easier, and it will be easier to carry it out.

It is best to bring up their example. Then the child will not suffer from cognitive dissonance and feel inferior due to the fact that you can do certain things, but he does not.

The need for age restrictions must necessarily justifyif the child is already able to be aware of what is being explained.

How to raise girls:

  1. Like a princess in the sense of creating an atmosphere of respect and love. Then the daughter will be easier to become a queen for life. And here we do not mean the removal from duties at home or the inculcation of the self-perception of one's superpersonality. The queen, figuratively speaking, should strive to create a comfortable environment around herself and should be able to achieve this partly on her own.
  2. Respectively gender. Dress should be a priority dress, but if the daughter is against, do not insist. But still look for options for exactly girlish clothes.
  3. Strive to never raise your voice when communicating. Then, in the future, she will not perceive someone else’s aggression as the norm, which will save her from toxic bonds.
  4. Teach to the proper care of yourself, explain how to properly use hygiene products, cosmetics, clothing.

How to raise boys:

  1. From an early age, emphasize that he is a man and should be attentive to the weak.
  2. Learn to understand emotions.coping with anger in safe ways. For example, by performing active physical exercises.

    But at the same time focus on the fact that seeking help is a worthy and normal practice.

  3. Learn handle tools, follow hygiene, order.
  4. Teach monitor your health, explain with vivid examples the consequences of bad habits.

Problems

The main problems of parenting:

  1. Too many people willing to participate in the process.. The usual practice when a young family lives with their parents and different generations of different methods.
  2. If a grandmother climbs into raising a child, in his absence one must either persistently agree on the coherence of measures in raising or go live on a separate living space.
  3. The desire to raise is not the same as me, but a certain strategy is missing.
  4. Inability to withstand the test children's hysterics, which is why it is difficult to establish the boundaries of what is permitted and forbidden.
  5. Ignoring the factthat the world around us is full of the same subjects as you, therefore they also do not like it when their rights and interests are infringed.

    And if you do not teach your child the desire to observe a mutually beneficial compromise in any matter, it will be difficult for the child to become overgrown with useful and friendly ties.

Parental mistakes

Mistakes of parents in raising children:

  1. Prohibition Abuse. When all is impossible, the prerequisites are created for the formation of an absolutely apathetic child or rebel.
  2. The desire to assert itself at the expense of the child. Alas, in this case, parents are rarely interested in the topic of proper upbringing of children, since adults consider their behavior to be correct and are satisfied with the opportunity to suppress and command the younger ones in the family.
  3. The habit of raising the voice in communicating with children. After a short period of time, they will begin to abstract from what is happening whenever they feel a rise in decibels in your voice — you will not be able to shout at all for any reason.

  4. Unwillingness to delve into children's problems and put yourself in their place to adequately perceive the size of the problem that is troubling the child. For example, the baby is afraid to sleep in a dark room because of the fear that "the monster living under the bed will climb out and attack." Ignoring the manifestations of fear of the child, the parents leave the son alone with the problem, demonstrate their detachment from him and push to the formation of a sense of uselessness in the baby.
  5. Hyperprotection in child rearing. Help in the home, self-service and other areas should be provided if the child is not able to perform the amount of work on their own.

    It is better to show how to do correctly, to perform the initial stage of work, but not to carry out the whole process until the end independently, depriving a small person of the opportunity to gain skill.

    Yes, for some time the result will be crooked, but with time the situation will even out.

  6. Lack of consistency in actions, advice, recommendations. When there is a situation in the family between parents and other older relatives, which resembles the plot of Krylov's fable on a swan, pike and cancer, then the child does not have the opportunity to choose a certain behavior strategy and this makes him very nervous, has problems with concentration, learns to manipulate people.

The right tactic without crying and punishment.

Is it possible to wean yourself from raising a voice to a child? If there is a strong desire.

  1. Screaming is not educationand your statement about your own helplessness and inability to communicate normally with others. Think about it when you want to raise your voice again.
  2. If in childhood you were often shouted, remember, at least once, in detail your feelings. Do you really want your child to experience this now too?

Since birth

How to raise a baby from 0 years?

All that is required from the parents of such a baby: caress, love and care about providing comfortable conditions.

The latter is easiest to create using the daily regimen: it's easier for both the child and parents.

1-2 years old

How to raise children aged 1-2 years:

  1. Patiently explaining simple rules.
  2. Without engaging in a long controversy: if something is impossible, then it’s easier to keep it away from your eyes than to explain a crumb, why not.
  3. Practicing skills training through personal example.
  4. Always looking cause of categorical failure from anything that seems natural and attractive to you.

In 3-4 years

How to raise a three year old child? Psychological advice to parents:

  1. Consider that the period begins imitative behavior by gender. Girls copy the behavior of the mother, the boys - the father.
  2. Strive to satisfy intellectual hunger: this is the best period for the formation of a love of reading.

    Pick up books with the right motivating stories.

From 5 years

Raising children from 5 years and older:

  1. Manifest tact in any matters.
  2. Try to explain in detail, but well. consequences of actionswhile avoiding the drama's heightening.
  3. Charge feasible classes and do not forget to praise for a good result. In case of difficulty, offer unobtrusive assistance.

If there is no husband

How to raise a child without a husband:

  1. After reaching two years it is desirable to provide the opportunity sometimes chat with other men from among relatives or friends.
  2. Do not arrange in front of a child incriminating speeches with the wording, all men are scoundrels, and your father is first.

If there are two children

How to raise two children:

  1. Necessarily equal. Separation of the pet and the scapegoat is unacceptable.
  2. Upon reaching one of the children of 12 years old, provide him separate territory.

    If it is not possible to transfer to your own room, you can intelligently divide the nursery into an older and younger zone.

The development of courage in kids

How to raise courage in a child:

  1. Never don't mock over his concerns.
  2. Find out a source of fear and show that, as a rule, there is nothing to fear. For example, to demonstrate that the frightening shadow on the wall is just a silhouette of some kind of interior item.
  3. Shift shoulder while overcoming fright.
  4. Play with familiar toys problem situation.
  5. Teach brave deeds taking into account the age of the child.
  6. Whenever possible eliminate factors, increasing the nervousness of the child, and only then gradually develop self-confidence in him.

Julia Gippenreiter

Having no practical experience in raising children or facing a problem that is difficult to resolve by independent efforts, many parents turn to help. from the outside world.

For example, looking for answers to questions in books on the topic of child or adolescent psychology.

For some parents, good help is literature Julia Gippenreiter - one of the deserved and recognized child psychologists in Russia.

Thanks to the works of Yulia Borisovna, it is easier to overcome the difficulties that, as it turns out, arise in almost every family with children.

Numerous examples with descriptions situations from the lives of other people who were looking for a way to establish a dialogue with their own children, helps readers not only realize that they are not alone with their problem, but also allows you to look at it from a different angle.

In education, the main thing? The correct promise, competent transfer and timeliness of the process.

Therefore always consider these three factorsif you want it to be correct and effective.

How to raise a child without shouting and punishment? Psychologist tips:

Watch the video: Punishments for Children Medical Course (November 2024).

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