The shortest and correct answer to the question "how to fall in love with a man", perhaps, will be - not to fall in love with him. But it is easy to say! It is even harder to do, but to stop loving - in general, it is sometimes not possible.
Indeed, is it possible overnight, or just in a short time, to throw out from your heart the one who was more desirable and dearer? The one whose image day after day was nurtured and cultivated in the heart and soul?
The content of the article:
What is love?
4 easy tips
Psychologist's comment
It turns out you can! Psychologists speak with full confidence and even give for example a couple of quite effective techniques, using which, you can not only painlessly part with your chosen one, but also stop loving him.
What is love?
What is love for each of us? Feeling! Everyone will answer first, and then the answers will be slightly different - a feeling of tenderness, affection, sexual, etc. And everyone will be right, because only psychologists have it all smoothly and clearly: love is a feeling of deep affection and sympathy for another person or object.
In fact, in life, everything is much more complicated and multifaceted. After all, someone just loves, someone is very, someone loves so much that he is ready to kill with jealousy ... - how many people, perhaps, so many manifestations of love. And it is beautiful! It makes us individual and not similar to each other.
The ancient Greeks were much closer to solving the phenomenon of love, and they even managed to classify it. According to them, there are the following types of love:
- Eros - enthusiastic, passionate love, with elements of adoration, which leaves no trace of doubts about its object;
- Filia is a feeling akin to friendship, warm affection, which is caused by conscious social choice;
- storge - love-tenderness, especially its manifestations between spouses;
- agepe - love-sacrifice, when a person is ready to give everything and everyone for the sake of the object of adoration, in spite of everything, it is rather akin to unconditional love for God;
- Ludus - love, which is built on sexual desire and pleasure, it is like a game and lasts, as a rule, until the first manifestations of boredom;
- mania - here the name speaks for itself; it is obsession, passion, jealousy, bordering on insanity;
- pragma - love, which is not based on the manifestations of the soul and heart, but on the calculation and benefit from the relationship.
It is using this qualification, you can understand your own feelings and attitudes towards a man and try to learn how to manage them. This, like akin to ailments, seems to be hurting the organism as a whole, and everyone can have their own symptoms, as well as their own medicine.
How to stop loving a man? Simple tips
It does not matter at all what prompted the break up of relations or just created the prerequisites for this - did he leave you or him, is he pathologically jealous or greedy, or maybe you foolishly changed him? There is only one conclusion - something needs to be done with this and the sooner the better.
And in this case, psychologists recommend to take a series of steps that will help to forget the chosen one.
Step number 1. It's time to face it.
It is not paradoxical, but not happy love or not divided does not exist.
There is simply self-deception, which a woman tries to compensate for the lack of feelings and relationships on the part of men. But, sooner or later (better, of course, sooner) a moment comes when you need to look and see the real state of things. Not only that: you can try to look a bit ahead so that the “rosy” perspective of your relationship finally returns from heaven to earth.
Is it worth it to spend all of yourself and without reserve on that man who is far from you, as on the first day of your acquaintance, and at best spends time with you? The answer is obvious!
Step number 2. Do not be shy emotions
Nonsense is all that strong women do not cry! Crying And even this is their strength, because they can allow themselves to be natural and real. To give vent to one's emotions is not a weakness, it is an opportunity to free oneself and truly feel free.
As a rule, the process of “falling out of love” will be accompanied by pain, because you have to tear off a very close and dear person from yourself. Letters are a good way to overcome this pain. Absolutely truthful, outrageous frank letters that are simply written, but in no case sent. They not only help to cope with the feeling of pain, but also put everything in its place.
And do not forget that pain is not always the end. The pain can be the beginning, for example, as the birth of a child, only in our case - the birth of a new, independent and self-confident girl or woman.
Step number 3. A bit of cynicism
This is precisely the situation in which a bit of healthy cynicism will not interfere with any woman. And the reasoning, by the principle - well, you think, it was, you think, she loved, but now she’s taken and stopped loving, and he is just an episode - it will not hurt any, but on the contrary, will betray confidence and energy.
Step number 4. We work on ourselves
It is the absence of this last and most important step that leads to a situation where someone needs to forget, stop loving and does not allow it to be done without serious consequences.
After all, if you think and answer honestly to yourself, putting a hand on your heart, so to speak, - is it a self-sufficient, successful woman who will humiliate herself, begging for love, and hope to the last for a condescension from a man. Of course not! She gets up, turns around and leaves, slamming the door loudly.
It is the lack of work on oneself, not knowing one's own hidden reserves and potential that lead to complexes, uncertainty and, as a result, unhappy love and a “broken trough”.
It is necessary to work on yourself always and even more so in love, and definitely losing it. Indeed, in the first case, it does not allow you to relax your partner and fade away your relationship, and in the second case, it helps you to feel more confident, to know your worth and proudly walk through life.
And absolutely it will still be what the talent will reveal or what will become a hobby - embroidery, chess, cooking, houseplants or tourism. The main thing is that an alternative to that man, whom it would seem impossible to forget, will appear in life.
Epilogue, or, if you wish, conclusions
How to stop loving a man - the question is rather complicated, and at the same time very simple. And if you are a little observant, then you can see how the man himself, sometimes, gives the woman a way (means, weapon) with which you can forget about him once and for all. And if there was a question about the break in relations, then, it is necessary, without disdaining, to take advantage of this. After all, nothing better characterizes him than his own actions, you just need to learn not only to look, but to see, and when you see, not to be afraid to realize this.
Men themselves, by their behavior, from the very first day, show themselves, so to speak, in all their glory. But the lack of work on oneself makes one look at him not critically, but "turning a blind eye to many things." And instead of sorting everything out, the laborious and painstaking work of fashioning the desired image of a man begins.
But in the end, as the song says: "I blinded you from what was, and then what I was, I fell in love." And now I go and suffer - I do not know how to stop loving.
Work on yourself! And remember, to find and love a decent man is akin to respecting yourself.
