The first kiss is almost impossible to forget. Although in reality the most awkwardness is remembered, an experience about a possible failure. Why are people so worried before this event? How to overcome your constraint and decide on such a step? And most importantly - how to learn to kiss?
How to learn to kiss for the first time
The biggest cause of fear is the ability to do something wrong. However, each reason for fear is also its original basis. Most often it is associated with the largest complexes. A person fears failure due to such thoughts:
- “They can quit, reject, leave me alone” (fear of loneliness, painful affection);
- “He / she will tell everyone that I have failed” (dependence on public opinion);
- “He / she will find out that I am clumsy, she will start laughing at me.” (low self-esteem);
- “I can't do everything right. In my movements there will be inaccuracies, mistakes. I still have little experience. ” (excessive perfectionism);
- “Nobody wants to kiss me later” (fear of the future, exaggeration, unhealthy maximalism);
- “I will start laughing, crying or behaving strangely, repulsively” (rejection of their emotions, their suppression, instead of control).
To solve the deep problems it is better to turn to a psychologist. However, to reduce the experiences that they do not interfere with enjoy the process, feelings, it is still possible without the help of a specialist.
How to overcome your fear
Conventionally, we can distinguish two methods of dealing with fear. Each of them is effective one by one, but in combination they act even better. Further - the basic principles of these methods.
Physical
- Concentration on breathing. In a stressful environment, a person begins to breathe intermittently, superficially. If he tries to restore deep measured breathing, it will become easier for him.
- Block removal. Nervousness causes straining of the abdominal muscles and causes their spasms. Because of this, there are unpleasant sensations (“sucks in the stomach,” nausea, stomach rumbling, bloating). To avoid them, just relax the point in the center under the ribs.
- Tremor reduction. Shaking and / or sweating palms are a frequent sign of an agitated condition. To reduce the level of this phenomenon, you can strain your hands for a few seconds, fingers as much as possible, and then sharply relax them.
- Fight stuttering. Mumble, mumble something out of place, stumble or stutter before his passion does not want to. Therefore, before each answer is better to wait a half to two seconds. This will be enough for the brain to group the information and form an adequate response.
Psychological
- Thoughts of the interlocutor. If this is the first kiss, then it is also exciting for a partner. And even for an experienced person in this business. It is enough to realize the fact that the couple, too, is experiencing some confusion, is worried, and it will become easier.
- Accepting any outcome. Often fears in the head turn out to be much bigger and more terrifying than they really are. You can think about your fears and make sure that they are not lethal, and time because of them does not stop its run.
- Confession. The short phrase “I'm a little worried” will help relieve tension, and for both lovers. Many consider such frankness quite nice. This same sincerity makes others open up, to show confidence, to become closer in general.
- Confidence. The most difficult, but the most effective way is to increase self-esteem. To love yourself is to respond to stress more easily. The road to adequate self-perception is long and thorny. However, even attempts, small steps in this direction will be noticeable.
Where the fears come from and how to deal with them is already clear. But how to learn the technique of kisses? Explanations in words are not always clear. Moreover, sometimes they are even more confusing. Then what ways can you grasp this art?
How to learn to kiss
Watch videos
The wealth of knowledge in this case is considered to be YouTube. Enough to drive the request “how to kiss” - and the site will give thousands of video tips. A plus such a method in its clarity, because in the commercials the kiss is shown close, almost in section. Although such drawn 3D-graphic clips probably also exist.
Main minus - lack of practice, tactile sensation. But it is easy to cope with this by resorting to the following recommendations.
Ask for help from experienced friends
Older brothers, sisters, already “experienced” friends can come to the rescue. It is enough to ask them to demonstrate in detail the kiss with their couples. Or at least just to show the basic movements of the lips, the tongue, if the “teachers” do not have any relations with anyone.
It is better don't ask show the technique on yourself. This, of course, will add to the experience, but, first, the beauty of the first time will evaporate, and, secondly, it will be awkward and then it will be difficult to look into the eyes of a friend or acquaintance.
Use your fingers
This technique is quite simple, practical, but very effective. Procedure:
- leave the index and middle fingers straight, and the rest bend to the palm;
- slightly straighten the fingers to the side - just a bit, so that between them was a small gap, equal to the slightly parted lips;
- practice in light kisses, biting. Try to gently lick the skin, checking that there is not too much saliva left on it;
- try to gently close your fingers over your lip, imitating the movements of your partner;
- barely pushing the thumb cushion between two straight lines is a “model” of the tip of the tongue on which to train;
- if this is not enough, you can bend the little finger of the other hand and use it instead of the thumb, adjusting the degree of bending so that it imitates the width of the tongue.
The method is good because it includes theory and practice, is carried out on its own, does not require abstruse approach. A drop of imagination, a pinch of effort - and everything will turn out.
Leverage the right products
The most common, still “grandfather's” way is especially respected tomatoes. However, the skin of this fruit do not like on the lips. It is smooth, while lips can be rough. The skin slides easily across the tomato, but with real lip contact rubbing, if not licked, can stick to each other.
Based on this, it is better to use ripe juicy peach. It is rough, softer on the outside and inside, vulnerable to rough movements, and still does not contain small seeds or seeds. It is enough to bite off a small piece, forming a small notch that looks like an open mouth.
the main thing - Do not overdo it and shlopotat allergies.
Practice in front of the mirror
Kiss requires a fairly close contact, so the partner will not be able to see the whole picture of the action. However he will notice jaw movements, head tilts, facial expressions in general.
To make the expression say "I am the most kissable person in the world!", but not "What a horror this is the first time! Now faint fall!”, You can practice in front of a mirror.
First, the skill is honed with open eyes so that you can follow everything. Then, when the actions become more or less automatic, the eyes close, and all the steps taken are reproduced “blindly.”
Rely on nature
Sometimes simple enough let go of the situation and let the event happen by itself. Reflexes will prompt the base, and then you will only have to adjust to the movements of the pair or just start mirroring them.
If this step seems too heavy, perhaps the first kiss will be better. to postpone. And time can be spent on rapprochement with a partner, overcoming a period of acute awkwardness. After the transition of such a milestone to decide on such an important romantic step will be much easier.
What to do if the first attempt failed
- Understand that life is not over, the sun still rises and sets, and the Earth turns in the same direction. However, it will be easier to transfer unpleasant emotions in solitude or with a close friend / relative / dog.
- Do not blame about retries. Perhaps not immediately or even with the same person, but everything will turn out. A year later, if not much earlier, the recollection of this event will only cause a smile.
- To analyze, something went wrong. Maybe the matter is inexperience or inattention. And sometimes the reason for failure is the lack of the same experience with a partner.
- Recall the reaction couples. If a person frankly began to make fun, then most likely with this laugh, he tried to cover his own complexes. If the partner encouraged, reassured or continued attempts to kiss, then not everything is so bad. Getting the courage to meet him again is the best solution.
This article describes how to learn to kiss, what to do in nervous situations. However, stories about the first kiss are numerous, unlike. Someone has been studying this art for weeks on end, and still it’s a trap. And someone does not bother about it at all and just enjoys the pleasant excitement that arises in front of one of the most romantic events of his life. The main thing after all is not a technique, but living emotions between lovers.
