She changed ... Rage and pain, resentment, misunderstanding - these feelings stun and tear you apart. The betrayal of the closest person knocks out of the usual rhythm of a quiet life. Anger and aggression - your protection, you do not know how to soothe the pain from the betrayal of his wife and survive the insult inflicted on male ego.
When the first wave of emotions subsides, you will have to gradually get used to the fact that this is not a dream and actually happened. Every morning you will wake up with the thought of the irreparability of what happened. The time will come, you can make a decision and figure out how to live. For now be engaged in "treatment".
Chill out
The best thing you can do when you find out about your wife’s real betrayal of a drunk is to leave. While rabies is boiling in the blood, you can do a lot of irreparable and it will get worse. Care will allow you to temporarily step back from the problem physically and calm down.
We need a close person who can speak out. Tell me about what happened, speak the problem or write about what you feel on paper. You will “splash out” the pain and it will become easier. You do not need to take immediate and irrevocable decisions and report them to others.
Take a break
If there is an opportunity to go to work "with the head", take advantage of the situation. If friends are invited to go fishing, hiking, hunting, to the gym, to the ends of the world - go, changing the situation is useful. Even after cheating on a wife, one should force oneself to move, communicate, work, load oneself so that there is no time left for mental “scrolling” of the situation in the head.
Sooner or later, the problem will require a solution, but you should have time out to calm down and get rid of unnecessary emotions caused by the betrayal of his wife. Try to step back and take no action in haste. If the spouse insists on a meeting, explain that when you are ready for a constructive dialogue, you will call yourself.
Do not “quench” the pain in drinking - alcohol will not weaken it and will not solve the problem.
Think about what happened
When the ability to think clearly returns to you, analyze what happened. It is important that no one “crushes” you psychologically and emotions do not take precedence over logic. Think about what prompted your wife to change, why did a once-close woman drift away from you? What is it: loneliness, disappointment or a new feeling that will not leave you a chance to restore the family?
Women who are not prone to physiological changes can decide to take this step for various reasons:
- too high demands from the spouse;
- dissatisfaction with sex;
- partner infidelity;
- total control of the husband, jealousy and suspicion;
- lack of romance, warmth and attention, a feeling of "uselessness."
If you have common children, make sure that they do not participate in clarifying the relationship between adults and they were not "enlightened" by compassionate grandmothers or all-knowing neighbors. After a while, calm and unhurried analysis of the situation will allow you to understand what has happened and will save you from the non-constructive desire to seek and punish the guilty.
make up your mind
When you soberly assess what happened and can communicate with your wife without reproaches and insults, you will have to meet, preferably in neutral territory. Easy listen to the explanation of the spouse. She will tell you about the causes of infidelity, about her feelings and plans. You will understand the position of his wife and decide whether you should continue the relationship.
If a woman sincerely repents and asks to give her a chance - do not cut it in a temper, try to understand and forgive, because everyone has the right to make a mistake. You will have a hard time, but if a close person remains really close you need to make an effort in order to save the family.
If cheating is not a momentary weakness, not a desire for revenge, and not a search for diversity in intimate life, but love, let go. It is foolish to try to keep a woman forcibly, who has no old feelings for you, because she is no longer with you in body or soul.
If the wife is deceiving is not the first time and asks for forgiveness, claiming that it is not you, think about it - she will not change, and you will have to experience these feelings again and again.
Psychologists believe that forgive the betrayal of his wife and live on, as if nothing had happened, will not work. Especially if a man is jealous pathologically. The fact that the beloved woman was in the arms of others, leads such a husband into a rage that is uncontrollable. If the spouses still want to be together, they will need the help of a family psychologist.
If you love a sincerely repentant wife and want to forgive her, infidelity can be perceived as a disease that happened unexpectedly and deprived your beloved of resistance forces. Such a psychological trick will allow both of you to quickly deal with the situation and move on, since female treason is not a tragedy.
Forging relationships, do not forget about the reasons that pushed your half to the path of betrayal. Pay enough attention to your wife, emphasize the attractiveness of your spouse, remind her of your feelings and confirm them not only with words, but also with actions.
