How to start working on yourself: first steps to success

People of different ages are wondering how to learn how to work on yourself.

Presence of will power, motivations help us move forward, if there are any.

But it often happens that a person does not know what he wants and how to change his way of thinking or lifestyle.

The hardest

Why say that hardest work - is it work on yourself?

And it all starts with working on yourself.

Force yourself to do something - no easy task. It is even more difficult to change the habits, attitudes, current thinking.

It all starts from childhood, when parents apply a certain style of education to the child. They teach what to do and what not. Mistakes in education are costly to an already mature person, who used to behave in a certain way.

Lack of willpower is another big problem. It must be educated and preferably from an early age. It is much more difficult for adults to overcome themselves.

You got used to a certain rhythm of life. You understand that you are doing something wrong, you have bad habits, you are trying to change, but you do not have enough for a while.

The thing is that you have no motivation - why do something. No goal - what to strive for. And there is no willpower - how to get up and finally change your life.

If you do not start working on yourself, then nothing will change.

You will stay either at the same level of development, or will roll back.

Work is necessary for yourself - this is a constant struggle, and it is this that helps to overcome and achieve success.

No standing position - either you are moving forward, or you begin to refuse back in your development.

Why do we want change?

By nature, man strives for self-improvement. This is evident from birthwhen the baby tries to develop independently of the will of the parents.

A small child learns the world, his curiosity acts contrary to the prohibitions of adults, but they often restrict his activity, guided by security and their own fears.

Development is inherent in us genetically. That is why, when there is no development, a person tries to replace him with alcohol, ingestion of hazardous substances, and deviant behavior.

We want to achieve some kind of result, leave your mark on this life. It is important for us to be known and remembered.

But unfortunately, it only succeeds. a small percentage of peoplewho could find their way despite the criticism, difficulties, overcoming themselves, their laziness and fears.

Reasons why we want changes:

dreams that do not give us peace;
desire to start life from scratch, as if nulling past mistakes and failures;
become a different person;
achieve excellence in something;
prove to ourselves and others that we can do something;
do not stop at one place, but always move forward.

When a person develops, it helps her to feel more happy because she realizes her inner potential.

How do I know what I want to change?

You want change, but you don't understand what exactly should be changed in your life, so that it becomes different and more successful. First you need to understand that it's really time to change something.

Signs of this:

Life has ceased to please. Everything seems to you boring and mundane, previous classes do not bring pleasure. People are annoying.
Stopped feeling emotions. The predominant state is indifference. You have something going on, and you do not care. Relatives share joy or sadness, and this has no effect on you.
You are experiencing moments of the past, they seem to you more vivid, interesting.and the present is faded. It seems to you that the beginning of your relationship was interesting, but now everything has become commonplace and even annoying.
This is actually the case, because the monotonous life becomes bored with time, and in the absence of novelty, people naturally tend to escape from it.
Worry about the future. You are worried, and what will happen next, that you have not achieved anything, that there is no self-realization. Perhaps, on this basis, you began to develop depression, because the fears about the future do not let go.
Have ceased to care about appearance. You don't care how you look, how neat the clothes are, whether your hair is combed. Even relatives began to notice how much your appearance has changed in a negative direction. Thinking and mood are first of all manifested in the way we look. This also works in the opposite direction - change your image, choose the right clothes and hairstyle - and you are already on the path of change.
Stop caring for health, junk food prevails, abuse alcohol and smoking, refuse to go to the doctor if you suspect the presence of disease. It doesn’t matter what happens to you.
There is a feeling of constant anxiety You worry about anything. Neurosis develops more and more, you torture yourself and your loved ones with constant fears and suspicions. As a result, the psyche is overloaded, approaching a nervous breakdown.
Envy the success of friends and strangers. Envy is a negative feeling, it burns from the inside and interferes with action, development.
You compare yourself with others and at the same time experience a negative feeling - why they, not me, why they are more successful, more interesting, they have love, money, but I do not.
Your apartment or house is a mess. This directly affects your way of thinking. As they say - that in the head, then around us. When was the last time you did general cleaning, were you throwing unnecessary trash out of the house? Or is all this trash accumulated in your apartment, lying uselessly and creating a mess?

Important matters are postponed until later. This is not laziness, but simply the lack of motivation to do something because of misunderstanding - why.
Close people cause feelings of irritation, rejection, anger, disgust. From them I want to be away. There is no desire to go home in the evening, to meet with friends, even if you have been together for many years and you have a lot in common.

Now you have to understand, and what exactly should be changed in your life. Answer the following questions:

Does my job suit me?
What exactly does not suit me at work - a place, salary, team, schedule?
What problems have you had in my family lately? Who was the initiator of the conflict and for what reason.
What level of well-being will satisfy me.
What abilities I want to develop in myself.
Do I have a life goal.
What makes me move forward.

Do not be afraid to answer the questions. First you need to be honest with yourself.

Yes, you suddenly can find out about yourself not quite pleasant things, finally understand where you acted incorrectly. But it will help you. create a strategy for your own change.

How to make yourself act?

How to start working on yourself? Getting started is the hardest part.

You will to the last postpone an important momentcoming up with excuses.

It seems that it is easier to start on Monday, next month or New Year. But it is not. The appointed date comes, and you postpone it again for tomorrow.

Need to start today. At this moment, and only then will you start moving forward. We decided to quit smoking - do it now. If you want to change jobs - go for an interview or write a letter of resignation, of course, if the funds allow you to live for a while until you find a new place.

If you want to change your life, change it, but don’t think how to do it and at what moment to begin. The longer you postpone, the less chance of a change.

The best changes are instantaneous, spontaneous.. We decided that it was time to end the relationship, which means that there is a crack in them for a long time, so why are you still pulling and trying to grab hold of the breaking thread?

What to do:

Accept reality as it is.
Arouse the desire and motivation to act.
Learn to take responsibility for yourself and what is happening in your life.
Stop blaming other people and circumstances for what is happening - this is the position of the weak.
Clarify your goals - what you really, truly want. Remove imaginary goals, as well as those that inspired you to other people, including parents. The goal should be only yours.

Identify your strengths.
Decide on the timing. Want to have a high salary - how much and by what time.
Act without delay.
Stop looking at other people, do what you need.

So the first rule of change is act now in the presentas soon as the decision is made.

Tips for men and women

How to work on yourself and improve? Work on yourself - the process is long and daily. You can not do today, and tomorrow to roll back to the previous level.

There must be a constant movement. This does not mean that you should not rest. It requires a reasonable alternation of work and leisure.

What to do:

Act no matter what. Your desires are your desires, and you have the right to fulfill them.
Understand that each person is free to choose. You cannot be told where to go, but you also have no right to force other people to follow you.
Look for like-minded people - those who want to develop, who have similar interests with you. They support and stimulate development. Act together and move forward much more effectively.
Make a schedule of changes. Plan what you want to achieve, to what point, what stages to go through.
Stick to the daily regimenmake a plan - it helps develop willpower. In addition, the regime is good for health. You know when and what you need to do, which means you plan better and are less nervous.

For self-development useful to do education, attend courses and trainings.

The main thing - to drop all fears and insecurities. This is not easy, so working with a psychology specialist is useful, but it is better to turn to a professional coach.

How to live by new standards today?

Deciding and doing is what you must do first.

New life must be from now on and daily. It will be difficult the first three weeks, then the body and mind get used to the new way of life.

You will have to change your way of thinking. Get rid of old installations that interfere with living under the new rules.

We are greatly influenced by our inner circle, therefore choose the people you communicate with carefully. Exclude those who pull you into a past life, hinder development. Communicate with optimists and successful in life. Find those you want to be like.

Solve problems. They do not need to run away, put it off until later. There was a problem - you need to get rid of it.

Many people are afraid to make mistakes - and this is their biggest mistake. Take any blunders, failures as an experience, an opportunity to learn something new, change. Mistakes help development.

To move forward need to let go of the past. And here it is quite difficult. We are afraid not to see our loved ones anymore, we feel hurt feelings, returning again and again to what was.

Just let go. The past is left behind, it does not return, do not change. Thank him for what it was.

Give thanks to people, even if they brought you pain, but they were part of your life. Tell yourself - I let go and move forward. Now there is the present, and only it matters.

How to learn to work on yourself - to constantly do something, develop will-power, motivation and love life changes.

How to start working on yourself: