Once again, interested views caught on themselves, but they did not dare to begin acquaintance? Or was the whole event hidden behind the screen of the phone without saying a word? Before you step by step instructions on the ability to fall in love with yourself from the first minutes of communication. Or it’s profitable to sell yourself - to the best in the world employer for indecently nice money. Therefore, we shake a whisker on how to start a conversation, and easily become a skillful speaker.
We increase self-confidence
Sometimes the desire to have a conversation is fought by the fear of becoming a stupid or boring interlocutor. And if behind not the most optimistic experience of communication with the employer, colleagues, of the opposite sex, the desire to hide in an unknown direction wins. What to do? Apparently, learn, rehearse, train. Let the first potential interlocutor be not the Prince on the White Horse or the Love of Life itself, but the first handsome stranger.
The art of a small conversation came to us from the West, its name "small talk" emphasizes the relaxed nature of the event. It is important to accept the idea that we pass the exam, and share our opinions, so any outcome of communication will not be able to darken the mood. After all, the most important thing is the experience that we will get in any case.
It is desirable to reduce the degree of responsibility, smile. Friendliness and eloquence are not innate qualities, they are capable of acquiring everyone.
We study our strengths
And we bet on them. Writing a marker on the forehead about the Grand Prix taken red diploma is not worth it - if the dialogue becomes the start of sincere relations, you can still have time to communicate your achievements to a new visitor. It will be very useful to pay attention to your own diction, tempo, speech literacy, gestures.
It would be nice to give yourself points for each of these criteria after watching the video with yourself in the lead role. The camera of the phone will do - here the role is not of technical equipment, but the ability to ask and answer a question with a bit of humor, spontaneity.
Having seen ourselves from the outside, we can designate tasks (lingering pauses, sweeping hands, grimacing, etc.) and start working on them. Also important is the harmony of image, appearance, profession, as well as behavior during the first conversation.
At the very least, a tall, tall gentleman with a sporting past, who is splashing exalted with his hands or blinking his eyelashes in surprise looks strange. Exactly the same doubts in sincerity can cause a sweet young lady with a long braid, loudly broadcasting endless monologue booming bass.
People feel calmer and more secure if their initial impression of the interlocutor is not the opposite of his further behavior. Incidentally, this is the evolutionary benefit of stereotypes - they unload the brain, allowing you to concentrate on the new. Therefore, the goal to hit and remain in the memory at any cost is carefully moved away from its adequate portrait.
Are watching
After reading and loving your communication features, you can proceed to the "offensive". Straightened his back, breathed, came closer to a potential comrade. They stopped to look around and look.
Sometimes a person who does not know how to start a conversation, deeply and in detail focuses on internal skills, forgetting about external circumstances. Before you begin to communicate, you need to make sure that this situation has both the situation and the state of the elect. Do they beat the chimes, does not the intermission end, does the future interlocutor ring the phone? No, go ahead. Yes - we exhale and try in 5 minutes. We try, remembering that the first impression is made only once. But it is better to produce it all the same than to sigh aside in anticipation of the perfect “high point”.
Looking for balance
To ask a question is a great idea. Even the most banal question "How do you like the exhibition?" can lead to success if attached to it a confident voice and good posture. If there is a desire to originate, the sense of proportion should always remain. To epatiate the public or to make new acquaintances, to deepen useful connections are different goals that require excellent approaches.
The best result in the second case brings treatment in the form of a friendly joke or a compliment. There are pitfalls here. The initiator of the conversation should avoid excessive irony, common phrases and ambiguous metaphors - given the place of acquaintance, of course. The conservatory assumes other conversation patterns than a rock festival, although in both cases the theme of music for exchanging remarks is quite appropriate.
Listen carefully to the answer
Now it is necessary to concentrate all the receptors and the sixth flair on the interlocutor. Having made our move first, we can let our parry it. Having turned into one big, benevolent and extremely attentive ear, it is advisable not to forget about body language.
It would be nice to keep the facial muscles moderately relaxed, to tilt the head to the side, and after several minutes of successful communication, repeat several movements of the interlocutor, without outright ape.
The message encrypted in the eyes and movements must be read unequivocally: “It is valuable and meaningful for me to hear you. I may not agree afterwards, but the point of view expressed by you is important.” You can try to have a conversation on the "question - clarification - approval" scheme.
In this case, a relatively uniform exchange of information occurs, not resembling interrogation with addiction. The code word "approval" refers to a few remarks about yourself, interesting to the interlocutor, useful or amusing. This is an excellent formula for those who want to know not only how to start a conversation, but also how to continue it actively.
Enjoy
Perhaps trying to start a conversation will lead to true friendship, a long business partnership, or a romantic relationship for life. But if not - this is not a reason to lose heart to the very core of the Earth. The luxury of human communication is valuable in itself.
The diversity of personality, thoughts, opinions filled the information field of the planet with new meanings. It is great if you were lucky to have a great time or to get a new life experience, to improve your oratory.
Each initiated dialogue brings you closer to the goal, is a wonderful training ground, even if it was not possible to gain a supporter in the person of the listener. It is important to learn to completely surrender to the process of communication, enjoying the taste of life.
We study the experience of others
The British king George VI stuttered, and also suffered from tongue-tiedness, but managed to cope with these shortcomings, because he knew where to start the conversation. The speech of the monarch, delivered before a multi-thousand radio audience, was able to inspire compatriots and raise their morale during World War II. The famous Colin Firth embodied the image of a bold and stubborn autocrat in the amazing film "The King Says".
If such stories ignite a spark inside and give strength, you need to look, read, listen to their health. Having surrounded himself with role models, a person is able to draw inspiration and replenish internal resources. New facets reveal the biography of pop stars, journalists, or even the biggest players on the London Stock Exchange - people who know firsthand how to start a conversation. Their dreams, ardent passion for communication will help to recharge with positive and energy for their own accomplishments.
Using at least three of these tips, you can achieve significant advances in the art of dialogue. And knowing how to start a conversation, it is likely to change life by 180 degrees. Courage, drive, openness to the world - these are the "side effects" of work on the ability to make acquaintances, having to yourself from the first minutes. With the Queen of England, Madonna or Ronaldo, we are divided by six handshakes. Let's get closer to each other!
