Quite often, our attention is focused on those people who cause us a negative reaction.
The saddest thing in this situation is that, sometimes, we ourselves don’t think about it - the attention involuntarily floats towards these people, sometimes even in obsessive form.
How to be in this situation? How can you learn to ignore people?
Why is it sometimes important to ignore people and their opinions?
Despite the fact that many advise to look closely to others and be careful with them, this is far not always helpful.
The fact is that the influence of some people can be characterized as negative.
Even harmless bad habits or actions of people with whom we are forced to communicate for one reason or another are capable distract from any activitymaking it difficult to concentrate.
However, there are more serious options - for example, openly aggressive actions, prejudice or imposing one’s own point of view, and the spreading of rumors and gossip by the people around us can lead to deep negative experiences and stress.
That is why it is necessary to be able not to pay attention to those people who interfere with self-realization, guide them to their opinion or simply distract from useful activities.
How can this be done?
How to stop paying attention?
To the opinion of others
Opinions of others may be useful for creating an objective assessment of a situation, but sometimes it can interfere with the conclusion that would be appropriate for you.
After all, man has an absolute right to own opinion, his vision of the situation, even if it will diverge from the point of view of the people around him.
In order to learn not to pay attention to the opinions of others, it should be understood that no one has the right to manipulate your point of view in their own interests.
In order to eliminate someone's influence, you need to abstract from your loved ones and acquaintances and imagine what you would do in this or that situation if it didn’t affect them in any way.
Thus, it is easiest to come to a decision that is truly yours.
Try to put your interests first, increase their priority, because most of the people around you do just that.
On gossip
Conversations behind the back can make worry and worry many people, especially those who are sensitive to the opinions of others.
If there are people in your environment who like to "flush the bones" in someone's absence, you should understand one simple truth - you will hardly be able to change their way of thinking and prevent them from discussing people behind the eyes.
However, do not despair about this - better look at this situation from the other side.
If you cannot change it, then it is better not to pay attention to it and thus distract on the unnecessary.
Of course, it’s necessary and try to give such people less food for gossip and Do not show off your privacy.
You should also understand that the rest, most likely, also perceive them as gossipers and do not particularly trust what they say.
On insults
Sometimes we are forced to communicate with people who often come into conflict with us, and at the same time it comes to direct insults - for example, in professional activities.
It should be understood that insults, first of all, give a rude person. Often this way people want to influence or humiliate another person.
That is why, than less influence on you they will havethe less achieved his goal.
Also, there are often people for whom such behavior is the norm.
At the same time, they don’t put as much sense in offensive words as a person suffering from them and completely forget what was said after a short time.
Switch your attention not the meaning of the words spoken, but the essence of the situation itself. Do what is beneficial to you, abstracting from emotionally spoken words - because emotions themselves are irrational.
Sometimes this question solves a frank conversation, which dot the i's. However, it should be conducted calmly, without irritation and not going over to an elevated tone. You have the right to defend your honor. and the dignity and, most likely, the offending person is very well aware.
On the negative
When you walk in the garden, you can watch both on flowers and on weeds. Similarly, in any situation you can find both negative sides and positive ones. In this case, the situation itself will remain the same.
Try to mentally overestimate any event. Mark all its negative sides, and then try to find the pros, even if they look absurd.
Learn to look at the situation from different angles. If you constantly pay attention only to the negative aspects of what happened, then soon it can go into the mindset. Try to break this pattern.
Frequently please yourself with trifles - some kind of purchase, pleasant pastime.
This will help to be biased towards any situation and look only negative aspects in it.
Sometimes required throw out the negative which is inside you.
Speak out to a loved one who you trust - it will help get rid of obsessive negative emotions, besides another person can help to look at the situation from a different angle.
Perfectly distracts any activity from the negativewhich causes you inner satisfaction. Even if it requires material costs - try to find funds and money for it, because peace and satisfaction will more than pay off all investments.
On the person who is unpleasant to you or annoying
How to learn to ignore a person who is unpleasant or annoying to you? It happens that we are forced to endure a person who is annoying, to be in the same room with him, to have contact for a long time.
To learn to ignore him, it is necessary, first of all, to establish the psychological boundaries of communication with him.
If you dislike communicating with him, keep it to the minimum possible. Do not discuss with him any personal situations., even if he is obsessively interested in them.
Arrange the priorities correctly - you communicate with him only because the situation requires it.
He no longer has anything to do with you and your life.
Therefore, the only thing left is to concentrate on solving the problems that drive you to an unpleasant person. Try hard treat him not emotionally, but practical.
If you are unprofitable to communicate with this person, and it occurs only on his initiative, you have the right to completely stop communicating.
if you have alternative communication - use it. Even being in the same room, you can communicate with different people. If there is no such alternative, try to get distracted by some occupation.
In this case, if this person will be imposed, you may well refuse to communicate to him, referring to the fact that you are engaged in an important matter.
On husband or wife
Sometimes there may be a situation where even a close person has a negative effect - for example, a husband or wife. This can happen in different variations - spouses can impose their opinions on each other, seek to gain leadership or try to limit their freedom.
In this situation, it is not necessary to openly conflict.
The best option would be calm presentation of the spouse or his wifewhich you are not going to take.
People may not agree on certain issues, even if they are close people.
On the contrary, following another's influence can later grow into accumulated grievances and cause quarrels. That is why if you are confident in your point of view and you know that you do not change it, better to say so directly to a loved one.
On girls or guys
It happens that the attention may be distracted by a guy or girl who really liked. It may even stop you from concentrating on any matters.
In this case, be engaged in what will bring positive emotions in advance - it can be a visit to the cinema or a concert of your favorite group, a hobby, reading.
Spend time with close friends - with those who you really enjoy chatting. Take a trip to nature or spend the evening in a cafe. The main thing - to divert your attention from obsessive thoughts, get the most possible positive emotions.
Open new - take a trip to the city where you have never been before, or do something that you have been planning for a long time, but constantly putting it off until later.
Visit the places where you can meet new interesting people - all this help switch attentionthat you sent to a guy or girl.
Our attention is sometimes involuntarily occupied by those objects that negatively affect us.
However, one of the most important and valuable abilities of a person is intentionally direct your own attention.
This helps to get rid of the negative impact of many factors, learn to perceive the environment in such a way as to extract the maximum positive emotions from it, to keep calm and emotional balance.
How to stop depending on someone else's opinion:
