Why not lucky in love and in a relationship with the opposite sex?

Love is successful or not.

Sometimes it lasts for several years or ends very quickly.

So why not lucky in love and how to handle it.

What is unsuccessful love?

The concept of unsuccessful love is quite broad.

One person has this undivided feeling when there is no opportunity to be together with the object of adoration.

Another is trying to build a relationship, but they are crumblingdespite the apparent attraction between people, the presence of a joint child, long-term plans.

The stability and duration of the relationship depends largely on the desire, actions, attitudes of both partners. If one loves, and the second does not, then you can not talk harmonious union.

Unsuccessful love is manifested in dissatisfaction with personal life, quarrels with a partner, dependent relationships that violate the psyche. Such alliances exhaust, make a man miserable. Partners constantly in suspensefigure out the relationship.

The separation may be quick or last several years, causing neurosis and depression.

The so-called toxic relationship is especially dangerous when one or both partners are emotionally dependent on each other. However, they can not harmoniously exist side by side, but it is also impossible to part.

People are able to adapt to what is happening with them, therefore, even realizing that love is unfortunate, they continue to attempt to maintain relationships, not giving themselves a chance for happiness.

Why do not develop relationships? Why not lucky in love? Psychology of relations between a man and a woman:

Psychology and causes

We will understand the reasons why some men and women are so unlucky in love.

Women need only money

In order to be loved, you must first learn to love yourself and to distinguish this feeling from simple love and physiological attraction.

Of great importance in choosing a partner is the installation. Many patterns are laid in childhood. The boy adopts the model of the family in which he grew up.

An example of a father shows how to, or, conversely, do not communicate with a woman. Too critical and consumer attitude to the opposite sex affects the adequacy of the assessment and the ability to really love.

There is a widespread opinion that "all women need only money." It has some basis.

Modern girls often pay attention to external factors: the presence of a car, an apartment, generosity. Such relationships have nothing to do with love, but are only consumerism.

However, things are not so simple. Initially, a woman is looking for a male who will become a worthy father for her child and can provide a family.

Therefore, paying attention to material goods is a part of modern relations. The man, according to most women, should be self-sufficient, able to protect the family and provide a woman and their common child.

This does not mean that in love lucky exclusively wealthy men. A marriage based on finance may be strong, but there are no warm feelings between the partners. One loves, the second uses the opportunity.

The woman first needs sense of security.

Think about ways you give it to your lady. Does she feel calm, confident and relaxed next to you?

The main reasons for the failure of men in love:

critical attitude towards all women;
setting that everyone needs only money or that there are no decent women;
low self-esteem;
lack of ability to love;
the adopted negative model of the family in which the boy was raised;
excessive demands on women: she must be a good wife, mother, arrange life, be silent, communicate less with friends, be an ideal, and so on;
unwillingness to work on relationships, develop them;
search for an ideal that actually does not exist.

Before you seek love and demand an emotional return from another person, you should pay attention to your own character traits and internal attitudes.

Even small changes, the ability to look at the situation and people in a different way, is already potential path to a happy life.

Why are some guys not lucky in love? Opinion psychologist:

Don't be born beautiful

Women, like the stronger sex, may experience failure in love.

Deep disappointment leads to the fact that lost confidence in men, they are perceived as males, for whom in the first place is the satisfaction of the need for sex.

In many ways, this is justified, because men are more restrained in showing emotions and are not in a hurry to love for real.

For a woman, emotional return is important, to feel that you are loved, valued, wanted, understood. They require maximum attentionconsidering it normal and natural.

Men may be tired of such pressure, the requirements of affection, close contact, as they are more restrained in expressing their feelings.

A woman’s calmness may be regarded by a woman as indifference, although in reality he is simply not used to expressing his emotions outwardly.

Some ladies have to their partner excessive demands: you must - protect, respect, give gifts, not realizing that such mercantile spirit can scare away.

Excessive demands, misunderstanding of male psychology can lead to disagreements in the pair and further separation. As a result, the woman concludes that she experienced unhappy love, men are all bastards, personal life did not work out.

With the new relationship, the scenario is almost certain to repeat, because the lady did not learn her lesson and did not try to assess the reasons for her failures.

Quite often, when parting with one alcoholic, a woman finds another.

Or each new man next to her for some reason begins to drink too much.

In order to finally become happy in your personal life and create a harmonious union, you need to pay attention to yourself, and not expect other people to adjust to you. The union of two people is a search for common goals, acceptance of shortcomings, the ability to go at the right time to compromise.

Why are beautiful girls not lucky in love? Have you noticed that often beautiful girls are alone or are experiencing several unfortunate novels. Most likely, the matter is in psychology:

men are afraid of beautiful girls, suggesting that they have excessive demands;
men fear that they will not be able to satisfy all the requests of a beautiful lady;
the girl conducts a careful selection, considering that her beauty should be given only to the ideal candidate;
her parents instilled in her that she was unique, as a result of which she developed an excessive self-esteem;
the man is jealous of his attractive girlfriend, which causes scandals.

Men do not like girls who are trying in every way to show their superiority. Self-admiration, selfishness also alienate a worthy candidate.

Dislike for men who are looking for a girl for a serious relationship, causes an open display of his body, accessibility, venality. Need to be able to distinguish natural sexuality from promiscuity.

Why women are not lucky in love, and how it all begins? Relationship psychology:

How to be?

What if you are not lucky in love? there is truths that are difficult to challenge:

It is necessary to work on any relationships, without letting them take their course.
For love, we must fight.
You must fight for someone who can be your friend, colleague, close person.
If you feel doubt or dangerous signals at the beginning of a relationship, take a closer look at the person.
Think not only with your emotions, but with your mind.

You have only the beginning of a relationship, but you already see the alarm signals: he is inattentive, aggressive, allows himself to be rude, inclined to change. Do not think that a person will change just because you want it.

It will only get worse. Verbal aggression is quite likely to grow into a physical one, insults will become a natural part of any dialogue.

But all this could have been prevented if we left on time or put ourselves in such a way that a person would not come up with thoughts and desires to show negative.

What if you want to be lucky in love:

First, learn to love yourself. You are a person, unique and inimitable. You deserve a good attitude and a loving partner.
Do not allow yourself to insult.
If the partner is initially prone to negative, do not try to remake it, but think about why you spend your time with it.
Respect the value of another person, his uniqueness.
Learn yourself to show warmth and tenderness. It is difficult for some people to show emotions, hug, show their feelings. Start small - take a hand, praise, give thanks, but do not be unnecessarily intrusive.
Talk. Do not keep everything in yourself. If something does not suit you, tell and discuss. It is likely that the partner does not even know about the essence of the claims and your bad mood.
Be positive, give people joy, smile, become open to the world.
Get acquainted. Each new person gives us the knowledge, emotions, experience and the opportunity to find happiness.
Forget the phrase “I’m not lucky in love” - she programs you in advance for failure. With such an installation, any relationship is doomed to failure.

You have the right to love. Perhaps as a child you were inspired otherwise? How did your parents raise you - did they love you, respect you, see your personality? Or your every step, mistakes were accompanied by criticism, abuse, humiliation.

The family, the relationship to the child have a direct impact on how happy he will be in the future.

If you have not received the necessary portion of care and warmth in your childhood, then in adulthood probably have relationship problems.

In this case, long-term work is needed, changes in one’s inner world, patterns of behavior.

Consult a psychologist, if you can not work out their problems on their own.

Modern methods of therapy allow you to learn how to achieve a state of happiness.

What then luck?

No luck in love, luck in ... Where to put your energy, if you accept the failures of love? No love, but oh well. You have come to terms with what you have, but at the same time continue to feel dissatisfaction with life.

What to do in this case:

try less to attach importance to the fact that at this stage of your life there is no love;
self-actualize in work, business, hobby;
find yourself in public life, feel how you benefit other people;
stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself - these negative manifestations will only alienate other people from you, pessimists and whiners nobody loves;
become an optimist - there is always something to find the good in - the world is beautiful, the people around are interesting, and who are not worthy of attention - exclude from the social circle.