Many people have been dreaming about self-improvement for years, but plans remain vague, dreams passive, and the desire to get everything now keeps it from taking the first step. Every day they admire beautiful pictures of someone else’s life instead of starting to change theirs. They are hostages of suffering. How do you act? Do you know how to stop absorbing knowledge and move to concrete steps towards the ideal? What are willing to sacrifice in order to improve the best? In our lives, we ourselves become teachers and choose our own path to perfection.
What is self-improvement
Cultivation is the ongoing, conscious improvement of personal qualities and the development of skills to achieve happiness. The main part of the word is the prefix "self-", because a person cannot be forced to work on himself in any way. This can not be done by threats, persuasion, bribery, and even under hypnosis. The pursuit of personal excellence comes only from within. Other people's schemes and requests for help do not help, because everyone has their own idea of the ideal.
The list of ways for self-improvement tends to infinity. It:
- Healthy lifestyle.
- Sport
- Physical development.
- Spiritual development.
- Language learning.
- Creative thinking.
- Creation.
- Horizon.
- Intelligence.
- Business skills.
- Oratory.
- Willpower.
- Endurance.
- Professional skills.
Perfection at the same time attracts and scares. On the one hand, we see the perfect picture, meet the Lady (or Mister) Perfection and enviously sigh. On the other hand, we are even afraid to try on a superman costume. But the pursuit of perfection is as old as all of humanity. And the same infinite, as a person is constantly changing. So it’s worth treating yourself as a way, not as an end goal. And as the sage Lao Tzu said, "The journey of a thousand whether begins with the first step."
How to prepare yourself for self-improvement in 3 steps
Each person has his own reasons for improvement. Someone wants to achieve success in business, someone wants to win the beauty contest, someone has a soul crying and asking for change. Why are people able to help themselves or ask for help, but don’t do it? They prefer to suffer and remain childly helpless. Self-improvement requires constant personal control and effort. Therefore, the first step on the path to perfection is the cessation of habitual suffering.
Step 1. Stop suffering right now
Today is a very popular show where people fight their weaknesses. For example, begin to lead a healthy lifestyle and lose weight. We look at them in the finals, compare them with the “before” picture, say Wow, sigh and continue to suffer. They are good, they have already lost weight. But the matter is not in them, but in time and in our habit of suffering inaction. Imagine that you stopped suffering from obesity last year and a year ago, and at that (last year) moment you began to lead an active life (as the show participants did). As a result, you are today not sighing with envy, but proudly kissing your powerful biceps. Yet much can be achieved in a year.
So here. If today I stop crying for no reason, then next year I can achieve perfect biceps, for example. Or something more outstanding.
Step 2. Love yourself
The scathing advice still remains relevant. And without this you can not? It is impossible. It is impossible to improve what you do not like. And getting rid of negative thoughts about dislike will give a lot of energy that can be spent on the same improvement. If you can't get to love yourself right away, try to accept it. In total - with mistakes of youth, wrong words, ugly actions, missed chances, unfulfilled New Year promises. Of course, psychotherapy sessions are great in this business. The psychologist responds professionally to requests for help. It will help to survive the difficult moments and stop waving in the past.
Accept today's Self as the zero point for change. Can't take it? Pretend. Try to live as if you love and appreciate yourself.
Step 3. Start dreaming actively
We love to dream passively. Sometimes we show glimpses of activity, but in principle, we change nothing. Because I do not like the effort. Of course, you can wait indefinitely for the courier to ring the door with a suitcase of money and hand over a million just like that. Or the cherished prince on a white Mercedes will come up and put a wedding ring on his finger. Again just like that. But this is not happening. To motivate players for action, some coaches mention a phrase from a Nike ad: "just do it."
Perhaps it is time to stop absorbing information and passively dream. It's time to just do it.
If you are thinking about where to start self-improvement, it means that the internal need for this is already ripe. Before starting the process, it is worth taking a pause and ask yourself a few questions.
5 important questions to yourself
Question 1. Why do I need it?
Thinking about improving their "I", many do not even represent the scope of this concept and grab everything. But for some reason the endless reading of books and articles does not make us happier, watching motivating videos never motivates. After all, daily jogging in the morning, meditation, learning English, learning business or oratory - all these are different ways to personal excellence.
In the literature on the subject of personal perfection, the concept of "self-improvement" most often comes with words: confidence, success, wealth, beauty, health, and others. Because it is impossible to achieve perfection in everything. Yes, and not necessary. Experienced coaches and coaches insist that it is necessary to improve every day, 7 days a week. If you grab everything at once, search for everything, haphazardly absorb information, you can quickly become exhausted and become disillusioned with yourself. Planning to choose several areas for development? Everyone will have to pay attention daily. It's hard. It is possible that something will have to be temporarily abandoned or compromised with itself.
The answer to the question "Why do I need it?" will help narrow the concept of self-improvement just for you. And still have to sacrifice something.
Question 2. How can I donate for the sake of self-improvement?
Of course, life from the picture attracts. But perfection in all walks of life is an unattainable illusion. The pursuit of complete excellence is an unproductive and dangerous hobby. Many generally consider perfection to be boring and unpleasant. Compromises help us come to terms with imperfections and become happier.
In the matter of self-improvement, a compromise is a conscious readiness to accept its imperfection in some areas of life. Want to be perfect, live in a perfect home with an ideal partner and do what you love? In reality, everything is different. Ideal business leads to the collapse of the family, and the pursuit of a perfect body forms an inadequate perception of the surrounding world. The complex of the ideal wife leads to the fact that a woman steamed by an endless list of affairs turns into an ordinary servant and ceases to be attractive to men. The syndrome of an excellent student at work pushes away colleagues, and for some reason does not contribute to career growth either.
Yes, our resources are limited. A clear understanding of the finiteness of resources will help to concentrate on the most important and to hone skills in the realities of your life.
Question 3. How can I apply my knowledge in life?
Self-improvement is the application of any knowledge gained in practice. If you read books on pedagogy, then one of the basic commandments is: "if a child masters something, you cannot leave it without an attachment to the case."
If you absorb tons of books about physical activity and do not develop physical activity, there will be no sense from this. You decided to start developing brain activity and read about the new method of quick memorization? It should immediately try it. Courses help you find a new job? It is better to immediately enroll in them. Of course, it is not necessary to rush headlong from a diet to a diet, from yoga to powerlifting, or endlessly spending money on courses. But also to sway, waiting for the perfect moment is also not worth it. So any information that the universe presents to us is worth turning into a business.
The application of the knowledge gained in practice gives skill. Skill gives habit. But it is precisely new habits that give us a feeling of comfort and confidence that the chosen path will nevertheless lead to personal excellence.
Question 4. What do I expect in the future?
Self-improvement is a constant and endless process. A clear idea of the future gives you the opportunity to focus on the process every minute, to find a reason and take a small step on the path to “improve the best.
Therefore, at the very beginning of the journey it is worthwhile to motivate yourself. Proper motivation will provide a constant rush of energy that will help you find time every day for the improvement process and allow you to come up with new experiments. They, in turn, will provide a new impetus to the development and make the process interesting. The second thing that will clarify this issue is the appropriateness of the effort expended. For example, you want to achieve excellence in the game of basketball and become the second Michael Jordan. But with the growth of "meter with a cap" to achieve this is unrealistic, no matter how hard you try. And if you reach? What will you feel at this moment? Will you be happy?
These questions are not at all rhetorical. They help to calibrate your own scale of happiness.
Question 5. What will I feel when I'm better?
Self-development is a difficult but pleasant process. After all, in the end we will have a prize - an improved copy of oneself. Awareness of how you feel at each stage of development is an important indicator. If you wish, you can analyze what improved or ruined your mood. It is better to give a chance to your own feelings than endlessly breaking into other people's doors. And this happens often. Surrounded by stereotypes, we begin to live with other people's dreams. And when we achieve the desired - we feel not pleasure, but disappointment or irritation.
Constant reconciliation with your feelings helps motivate yourself to daily improvement, leads to a state of inspiration. Inspiration gives energy. And energy works wonders.
Findings:
- The recipe for self-improvement is simple: every day you need to take small steps toward a personal ideal.
- Understanding "why do I need all this"will help to achieve success. In any area of life.
- If you move in the chosen direction, the process of self-improvement becomes simple, interesting and understandable.
- Practice does not lead to an ideal, but gives a feeling of comfort and confidence.
- The process of self-improvement will advance as quickly as you will regularly and take concrete actions and learn practical skills.
- In pursuit of the ideal is to remember about happiness. If you want to blame yourself for something, say: "there are more important things in life" and smile.
