Every person during his life faced with a lot of difficult stressful situations that made him feel disgusting for a long time.
Some of these events could even provoke the development of a mental illness.
Therefore, many people who feel devastation, anxiety, helplessness, want to know how to soothe the soul and heart, because what happens to them, seriously poisons life.
What if the soul hurts?
The word "psychotherapy" can be divided into "psycho", which means "soul", a substance that, according to most religious and mystical beliefs, underlies the human being, and "therapy", which is equivalent to the word "treatment".
Therefore, it can be translated as "soul treatment."
Also, mental illness is often called "Mental illness"and mentally ill people are mentally ill.
And when a person says that his soul hurts, it means that his mental state is not in order, he feels discomfort, which prevents him from living.
Soul often hurts for the following reasons:
- Feelings about loved ones. If a close person (friend, loved one, relative, child) falls ill, finds himself in a difficult situation, is lost, it will invariably cause a strong, painful anxiety, which is very difficult to cope with, to whom he is not indifferent. Also, the soul can hurt if something happened to a beloved pet.
- Psychotraumatic situations. These include all the negative situations that caused a strong emotional response and left a deep impression: an unexpected loss of work, one or more acute episodes of violence (rape, beating, humiliation), the death of a loved one, miscarriage, and so on.
- Difficulties in the field of love and friendship. Parting with a loved one, especially at the stage when the influence of love hormones is the strongest, can cause extremely painful experiences. Breaking up with a friend who meant a lot is also very painful.
- Features of the human psyche. Some people are inherently hypersensitive, and events that have little effect on others will make them feel bad.
There are lots of ways to help a person quickly soothe mental pain. But it should be understood that not all states You can stop yourself.
If a person makes every effort to feel better, but his condition remains almost unchanged, he should contact a psychotherapist.
Tips for those who have a soul:
- Try to be distracted. This may be too difficult, but you need to try to overpower yourself. Analyze the situation and ask yourself questions. Can you influence her right now? Have you done everything that depended on you? If you answered both questions positively, then you should realize that you cannot do anything more, and do something that will push the experience a little.
- Let off steam. Beat the pillow, throw the ball into the wall, speak out to the person who is in the access zone, do some active physical exercises (running, jumping on the spot, fighting an invisible opponent, swinging your arms and legs, and so on).
- Refer to religion if you are a believer. Prayers and visits to temples can really help believers. If your situation allows, read the prayers that seem appropriate to you, carry out the rituals that exist in your religion, visit the temple (synagogue, mosque), talk with the priest.
- Do what has always given you peace of mind. Each person has his own soothing rituals. For example, it may help to feel better when taking a bath (you can add herbs to the water, sea salt, bombs), a shower, a walk, reading books, watching your favorite movies, talking with a loved one, physical activity, a hobby.
- Be patient. If you cannot influence the situation that causes mental pain in any way, but understand that it should get better over time, try to convince yourself that you need to wait.
- Eat something if you feel hungry, and try to rest if you are tired. Hunger and fatigue can significantly aggravate mental pain, increase anxiety. If you can not fully eat, still try to swallow at least something (well, if it is food with an abundance of carbohydrates). All important decisions are best made when you rest and eat.
Soothing medications (medicines on the basis of motherwort, valerian root, peppermint, lemon balm, St. John's wort) can also reduce mental pain and help you feel better.
But the most lasting effect will be achieved if you take them daily for at least several weeks. For the selection of the optimal dosage it is important to see a doctor.
What stages does a person go through?
In psychology, there are five stages that clearly describe the state of a person in whose life something bad has happened.
Theory of the Five Stages of Experience grief created Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a famous American psychologist.
A person experiencing a traumatic situation goes through the following stages:
- Negation. At this stage, the psyche is not ready to accept what has happened, so the person has a desire to deny the traumatic event, to treat it differently. If, for example, a person finds out that he has a serious illness, he may begin to speculate that the doctors made a mistake, mixed up tests, and undergo repeated examinations.
After a hard parting, initiated by a loved one, an abandoned person may think that perhaps his beloved is repenting that in fact he did not want this and will return soon.
- Anger. At the second stage, the person begins to feel angry and look for the guilty. For example, if he injured his spine at a ski resort, he might become angry with friends who decided to go to the mountains with him. A mother who has lost a child may be angry with older children who were with him and did not have time to help. Also, a person can get angry at fate, God, at himself.
- Bargain. During this period, a person begins to look for how to solve his problem, change it. A seriously ill patient can begin to rush to the doctors, ready to spend any money just to help him. The person whom the beloved has thrown may try to entreat him to start anew, or at least become friends. Superstitious people often begin to see peculiar "signs": for example, after seeing a white dog, they can decide that this is a good omen and that everything will be fine soon.
- Depression. When a person realizes that his attempts to bargain have failed, he plunges into despair with his head. He feels utterly helpless, loses interest in what was significant to him before, becomes less sociable, spends much time in bed, cries.
During this period, it is extremely difficult for him to force himself to do something, because the despair that gripped his mind is too strong.
- Adoption. Over time, despair diminishes, and the person becomes resigned to pain. He accepts what has happened and takes the first steps in order to live on.
But each one has different stages.: someone has a stage, and someone has been in one of the stages for a very long time. If the transition to another stage does not occur for a long time, this indicates the need to consult a psychotherapist.
Psychology tips
How to calm down mentally? Basic tips for people suffering from heartache:
- Let yourself be unhappy. Show any emotions, do not hold back, especially if it is not justified. If you feel that you want to cry, then cry, if you feel that you have no strength for anything - rest, do not increase the already existing stress. It is important not to throw things at all, but if there is really no strength, do them gradually, more slowly than usual.
- Take care of yourself. Keep track of your mental and physical condition, do not forget to take the drugs you have been prescribed, if you have chronic diseases, do not skip meals, try to get enough sleep.
Otherwise, during the period of experiencing an acute period, your health may deteriorate, and this will further complicate the recovery.
- Do something that brings joy, or at least satisfaction. Think about your hobbies, about interests. Even if you do not feel the desire to do your favorite thing, overpower yourself: interest may wake up in the process. The mental energy you receive will help you feel better, more meaningful. Review your favorite movies, re-read your favorite book series, get more fresh air, chat with friends.
For a person suffering from heartache, it is always important to remember that it will get easier over timeit is only important to wait and not allow yourself to plunge too much into despair.
Also important praise yourself more often, even for minor achievements: it will help maintain motivation.
Remind yourself that even a small activity is more important than its complete absence.
How to soothe heart pain after parting?
Parting with a person who has become an important part of life is always an extremely painful test, and recovery may take a long time.
During recovery after breaking up, it is important to do everything possible to find new meanings, new activities that will help you switch.
Psychological advice:
- Find new communication. This does not mean that it is necessary to rush headlong into a new relationship in order to drown out the pain due to the past. But new communication can bring a variety to life, make you look at it from other points of view.
- Take up new activities, try what you have been thinking about for a long time. Read books that have long been waiting for their turn, watch new movies and TV shows, find a new hobby.
- Pull back from communicating with your former lover. Crossing with him will make you feel pain. Delete his numbers so that there is no temptation to call, avoid meetings with him, except for cases when you cannot do without it, ask mutual friends not to invite you to friendly events where he will be.
- Try not to sink into despair. Do not allow yourself to go into agonizing thoughts about what you have done wrong and what could be changed, do not blame yourself: this will only aggravate your well-being and will not bring anything good. Try to shift attention and try to fill life with new things and events.
Also, a person suffering from mental pain due to separation should communicate more often with dear people: their support can significantly speed up recovery.
And it is important to always remember that the pain will not be constant and that after a few months you can breathe easier.
How to get rid of heartache:
