Youth is a great time when a girl meets her love and creates a family. But youth is also a time of acute shortage of life experience, so the decisions made can turn into a real catastrophe. In marriage, men show what remained “behind the scenes”: pathological cruelty, uncontrollable craving for alcohol and other women, gambling addiction - all this can make living together truly unbearable. Women become hostages of marriage - it’s impossible to live together, but it’s not clear how to decide on a divorce with your husband.
First, it is necessary to determine what prevents the start of paperwork.
Fears, and ways to overcome them
There are a number of common reasons that seem weighty enough for women to refuse a divorce:
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Loneliness - many women are afraid to be alone. But the most terrible loneliness is to be tied to a person with whom there is no intimacy. It is worth remembering that if you are interesting to yourself, to have a hobby that will please you - it will be easier to form a social circle of interests. - Injury for children. Actually, a divorce is a serious shock. But it is worth remembering that growing up with a father who is abusing alcohol is cruel or aggressive - much like a more serious injury. The real father is the one who is ready to take the main role in the upbringing and care of children. In addition, children grow quickly and begin their lives, and a woman should not forget about herself.
- Children have the right to know what is happening in the family. Otherwise, they will lose confidence in both parents, may begin to blame themselves and withdraw. Such a conversation is a step towards direct communication with the child, which will allow him to openly share his experiences.
- Financial dependence - the problem is not an easy one, but it can also be solved. Although, as a housewife, you can lose some professional skills, now there are many courses that help to re-acquire them. Yes, training and job search will require effort, but there is nothing impossible in it.
- Call of Duty. It is not uncommon that a victim of violence has an unhealthy craving for someone who hurts her. Some wives believe that their sacred duty is to save the husband at all costs, who does not want to make any changes himself. Such a pathological attachment is called the Stockholm syndrome, and requires special treatment. The victim must be helped to understand that each person makes decisions himself and should be responsible for them.
Loneliness - many women are afraid to be alone. But the most terrible loneliness is to be tied to a person with whom there is no intimacy. It is worth remembering that if you are interesting to yourself, to have a hobby that will please you - it will be easier to form a social circle of interests.How to get courage
Most often, decide on a divorce from the first time does not work. It is worth starting with determining and recording the causes with examples of behavior. Just write it down - and then refer to these records in order to prevent emotions from taking over. It is worth being prepared for the fact that feelings of pity, fear and insecurity will come from time to time. But when there is a reasonable goal, it is easier to deal with them.
The decision to divorce should not be made in a fit of emotion. Feelings are not a constant concept, and cannot be a good basis for such a serious step. It is necessary to ponder, weigh and write down everything sensibly.
The second step is to realize, and again, write down fears and sound thoughts on this matter. So you can prepare for the experiences that are likely to be.
The third step is to determine which obstacles will be in the way. Divorce - a matter of paper and troublesome. It is better to consult with experts, so as not to add stress to an already unpleasant activity.
It is necessary to plan when and what documents you need to collect and fill out when to go to a lawyer.
When there is a clearly defined plan, it is easier to act.
In the process of divorce
The similarity of divorce and marriage is that both of these events are a step into a new life. Therefore, feelings of fear, longing for life's companion, problems that may seem intractable - quite natural situations, you need to foresee them and think in advance how to react to them. So divorce can open the door to a new life, for which you also need to prepare.
