Many people ask themselves: why nobody wants to communicate with me.
The reasons may actually be several. The art of communication is easy to learn., the main desire and action.
Probable causes
Why don't people want to talk to me? To start should understand the reasonswhy people avoid communicating with you.
This will help to better understand how to fix the problem. Analyze your own actions.
Ask your friends, relatives for your sociability, ways of communication, the reactions of others to your words or actions.
The main reasons why no one wants to communicate with you:
- You only speak on topics that interest you.. Each person is a little egoist, and he wants his topics to be discussed in the conversation.
It is possible that you constantly talk about the same issues, talk about your hobby, which does not arouse the interest of others.
- Constantly complain about your problems. People get tired of listening to you. They can support you for a limited period of time, but when you have to listen to complaints with each conversation, you are avoided contact. In fact, nobody cares what happens in your life. Everyone is busy with their own problems, and sometimes they also want to speak, ask for advice, or just get support.
- You are a pessimist in life. Sad, gloomy, evil people are trying to avoid. They spoil the mood of all, you are infected with pessimism and negative. Therefore, people try to communicate with you as little as possible, the maximum is to say hello.
- You have strong defects in appearancethat annoy other people or cause hostility. Unfortunately, people also react to appearance, they should be pleased to be close to the person and communicate with him. This is a certain degree of comfort during contact.
- You are too annoying. People tend to keep a certain distance, even friends. Perhaps you unnecessarily get into the soul, try to give unnecessary advice, you are “too much” in communication, you often gather in guests or offer to spend time together, try to close physical contact, which is not pleasant to everyone.
- You gossip too much, discuss other people behind their backs.
People understand that you will also discuss them as well, so they try not to get close to you, not to share news, experiences.
- You smell bad. People are sensitive to fragrances. If you have a strong smell of sweat, smell from the mouth, then the interlocutors are unpleasant, and over time they will avoid communication.
- You are too unsure of themselves. Low self-esteem makes you uninteresting person.
- You speak little, answer in monosyllables. The interlocutors have the impression that you are simply not interested in a conversation.
- You do not command respect. This is a problem of the individual as a whole, there is a whole complex of reasons. Sometimes it depends on weakness of character, your wrong behavior from the point of view of society or other reasons.
- Behaving immorally, people try to avoid contact with you.
- Difference in social status. In the modern world, the level that you occupy in life matters.
People of high social status, you just will not be interested.
- You do not know how to formulate thoughts. Your phrases are obscure, incomprehensible, it is difficult for opponents to grasp the essence of what has been said.
You may have one main reason why you do not want to communicate with you, or several of them. In any case, we must work to improve the quality of his personality.
Psychology tips
Nobody wants to communicate with me: what to do? Everything is not so sad.
Change your attitude to people, your behavior and attitude towards yourself. And then other members of society will reach out to you.
It will take time, changing habits, perhaps attitudes, but if you want the number of social contacts and connections to change, you will have to make an effort.
What to do:
- Increase self-confidence. This is an internal state, and we have to work on it. Go to trainings, visit a psychologist, if you don’t manage to cope with low confidence and self-esteem.
- Pay attention to your appearance: how you are dressed, how neatly you are, whether the clothes match the status. Pay attention to the hair and hair condition - walk with a clean head. It is important that what you smell.
Do not try to hide unpleasant smells with strong perfumes - this repels even more, try to eliminate the cause.
- Learn to listen, not just talk. The interlocutors will be grateful to you if at least part of the conversation you become silent and give signals of active listening: nodding your head, monosyllabic phrases like: “clear”, “well yes”, “aha”. Ask leading questions so that the other person would like to open up during the conversation. The ability to listen increases confidence and your attractiveness as an interlocutor.
- Stop complaining. Your problems do not interest anyone. Your endless complaints about the unhappy life, problems at home and at work - the reason that friends and acquaintances avoid contact with you. Change the tactics of communication, learn to tell positive stories, be interested in the lives of others.
- Get rid of the "whining", boring voice. Work on expressiveness of speech, change intonation, try to pronounce words more clearly and confidently. The volume of speech should be such that you can hear, but you do not want to run away from excessive crying.
- Be positive. More sincerely smile. People are drawn to those from whom the positive energy comes.
If it is difficult for you to do this, then try to look at the world with different eyes - you can always find something beautiful around you.
Pessimists see everything in gray and black light. It seems to them that the world is full of dangers, people are evil. And here is the law - how you relate to the world, and it will relate to the topic. If you start to see the positive around, then it will become more and more. If you do not love people, then they will not love you. By changing your attitude, you will be surprised to see that other members of society have begun to treat you differently.
- Have a proactive stance. If you do nothing in life, then you are perceived as a lazy person and a loser. Attraction and interest are strong, active personalities. Get in addition to the work of a hobby, often go to the light. If it is normal for you to spend all your free time at home, then people will simply forget about you and stop calling somewhere - why pay attention to someone who does not go anywhere and is not interested in anything. And gradually you lose contacts.
- Be friendly. The manifestation of anger, aggressiveness, revenge repels from you. Why communicate with those who are ready at any moment to attack, verbally or physically?
Benevolence is manifested in a smile, courtesy, good mood, the ability to thank even for minor trifles.
Benevolence is the inner state of the soul.
- Fight with the fear of communicating with people. This is a fairly common problem, especially in young people. You can only fight with it in the only way - to communicate more often, to make contact, to increase self-confidence. Take courses of rhetoric, go to communication training, talk to people in transport, meet and do not be afraid of failures - there is nothing wrong with that, this is just an experience of interaction.
- Keep the conversation going. Your communication should take place in the form of a dialogue - say then you, then the interlocutor. This does not mean that you need to interrupt, if you want to speak. Wait until the other person finishes the phrase, pause for one second and speak. Share opinions, but do not turn communication into a monologue.
- If you are overweightAnd this is exactly the reason why they want to communicate less often with you - this is an excuse to work on your body. However, in practice, overweight is rarely a reason for people to avoid contact with you. Deficiencies in your body affect your sense of self and self-esteem, which is what your interlocutors feel. The girls, however, like the well-groomed male figures with a good torso.
What you need to think about?
If people bypass you, avoid contact in every way, this is an occasion to think about what is wrong.
Of course, you can withdraw into yourself, start hating the whole world, but then you will miss many interesting events and opportunities in life.
Communication is permanent work on yourself. Since childhood, children learn to communicate with others.
There are children more sociable, aimed at contact, there are those who avoid peers and adults.
Remember your childhood:
- what fears you had;
- were you afraid of other people;
- Did the children hurt you?
- how often have your teachers and tutors punished you;
- whether your parents forbade contact with specific children;
- how often have you been criticized in your childhood.
Self-analysis will help to find a specific reason. and a way to get rid of the problem.
If you have internal fears that make it difficult to build social ties, experts will help get rid of them.
The problem of appearance is solved by going to the beautician, nutritionist, stylist.
Unpleasant body odor removed by hygiene, using deodorants. If these methods do not help, then there is a serious reason to visit a doctor and check your health.
An unpleasant smell of sweat and mouth can also occur with improper diet, smoking, drinking alcohol.
Want to become more attractive, improve the shape of the body - why not go to the fitness club, swimming pool.
Sport not only has a positive effect on health, it also increases self-esteem and self-confidence. Here you will find friends by interests.
Important not to get upsetif you still have few friends. All comes with experience. Do not forget to communicate the name of the interlocutor when communicating and try to memorize it when you first meet.
Name is important signalit makes it clear that they are interested in you, they remember you, it returns the interlocutor's attention if he is suddenly distracted.
Positive, sincere smile, goodwill and interest in the interlocutor will make you more attractive and desirable for communication.
What to do if they communicate with you only on your initiative:
