Before each flight, the astronauts are tested for psychological compatibility. They begin to quarrel with each other, you can put a full stop on the flight. Conflicts in the office do not have such tragic consequences, but they poison the lives of many. And the quality of work suffers. How not to quarrel in a critical situation? Is it possible to avoid confrontation with a brawler? What are the most effective ways to resolve conflicts in a working context? Any collision can be overcome if you know several important principles.
The increasing speed of life is constantly throwing us new reasons for irritation. The greater the stress factors, the higher the nervousness, the more aggressive and sharper the person reacts to any stimuli. At work, the concentration of stress, leading to clashes, increases significantly.
After all, in a small area, collaborative tasks are performed daily by employees who do not choose each other, but are forced to compete with each other for a new position, higher salary, or encouragement of management. Studies have shown that it is not the differences themselves, but unconstructive methods for resolving conflicts that divide the collective. First, we analyze typical errors of improper behavior that most often provoke clashes or confrontations.
Wrong ways to resolve conflicts
1. The search for the guilty
Admitting your own mistakes is hard. Especially hard it is given to people with "excellent student syndrome", to kill the idea of their own ideality which is impossible. Do not know how to listen to criticism, to recognize their weaknesses? Be prepared for constant confrontation. Gradually, people stop hearing you, because it’s unrealistic to begin a normal dialogue with the “always-right” honors pupils.
2. Silence, evasion, conflict-free
At work there are not just employees and characters, interests clash. Even if you consider yourself to be conflict-free, at some point your interests will go against other people. Of course, you can constantly give in, consoling yourself with peacekeeping thoughts. In this case, unconsciously you will broadcast a feeling of dissatisfaction with the situation, the environment. In a small area, non-verbal signals are quickly read. And here you are not wanting yourself, you will constantly encounter rejection, leading to confrontation.
3. Unbearable temperament
There are certain types of behavior that most often provoke conflict situations. The first includes workers who scrupulously, corrosively study the task, perform it qualitatively, but too slowly. This is annoying, especially with management. The second is the people of the so-called demonstrative type. They scatter promises to the right and left, and then they attribute success only to themselves, displacing the merits of the rest of their colleagues. If you ignore such features in yourself, clashes are inevitable.
If you recognize yourself in one of your types and are faced with a constant situation of stress, the following methods of conflict resolution will help you personally to relieve at least some of the annoying disagreements.
So, working conflicts and ways to resolve them, which lead to a compromise
1. Conflict resolution by castling
Psychologically, this chess term means the following: put yourself in the shoes of another, or better yet, lose the last clash on the part of your opponent. Works great in the case of long, exhausting confrontations. It is better to do it alone, because who else but you do not know yourself and your opponent at the time of the quarrel. Imagine a situation of disagreement with this person. Try to gather and look at yourself through his eyes.
To get started, just evaluate your appearance. Fold brows "house"? It means that you are speaking from the position of an offended child, and your opponent automatically plays the role of a strict parent. Speak up? This means that you are assuming the role of a strict teacher, and it’s not a sin to argue. Just lose the situation to the end. Sometimes it is enough to change your own behavior a little so that the differences disappear.
2. Conflict resolution through communication changes
Different situations require different approaches. And different people too. With a hot-tempered choleric whisper agreement will not work. If you notice that your opponent is at the peak of a quarrel simply unable to take reasonable arguments, stand back, let him cool down. And vice versa.
With a thoughtful, sluggish specialist, it is better not to start a conversation in a raised voice. But sometimes an employee is so immersed in a comfortable slow state that an appropriate verbal kick will help to think faster. And of course, do not try to re-educate colleagues through complaints about their psychological characteristics. Change the situation is possible only when you learn to apply different styles of conflict resolution to different people.
3. Conflict resolution through open dialogue
The method of open conversation works in almost all situations: with personal dislike and intergroup. In a confrontation between man-and-man, it is more effective to clarify relations on a neutral territory, without outside eyes, support groups, all interested well-wishers. Intergroup disagreements, on the contrary, require the presence of a “third” party. Otherwise, they risk turning into another squabble.
As a rule, the head acts as a judge. He not only listens to the claims of the collective, but in parallel can offer ways to resolve them. For example, simply dissolve music lovers with lovers of silence in different rooms or give them headphones. Ways of resolving social conflicts require a more thought-out approach; sometimes things are not without professional psychologists or mediators.
4. Silent ways to resolve conflicts (not to be confused with avoidance)
If, in the heat of the showdown, you feel that you are losing control of yourself and are able to say too much, just shut up. This method also works great when you run out of arguments. Theatrical pause will help you to elegantly interrupt a prolonged quarrel, to leave your opponent in perplexity and torment.
After all, you must have hidden a slaughter argument in your sleeve. But seriously, silence is an opportunity to save the person himself, to give the opportunity to save the person to the opponent. If you can not just calm down, walk down the street, let off steam in physical movements, and not on the heads of other colleagues. And yet - leaving the room, do not slam the door. It is not polite.
5. Beautiful ways to resolve the conflict, especially if you are wrong.
Of course, if your opponent simply infuriates you, it is difficult to choose beautiful words. But with a certain level of preliminary preparation (see the section on castling), even with the most unpleasant interlocutor, you can reach a compromise or just beautifully disperse. Ask your partner to express your solution to this problem, listen carefully and only after that offer your own version.
In no case don't touch his personal feelingsdo not think about pain points or physical disabilities. In a confidential tone, ask him for advice on an abstract topic — it also helps to switch. For example, if your opponent is an avid cat owner, ask him about a cat breed or vaccinations. And also - if you are wrong, nothing helps to establish a dialogue as sincere apologies.
Work conflicts between man-and-man are often mapping of internal conflicts. Each interlocutor will have an approach and each collision has its own methods of conflict resolution. If a hierarchy of power is imposed on the working relationship, the confrontation moves to another level. But in any case, there is one more working and very effective advice: get involved in business, develop, make your life so eventful that there will simply be no time for a quarrel and a showdown.
Life is a dynamic. Different ways of resolving conflicts teach us to keep our borders, to establish cooperation with the people with whom we have to spend most of our lives.
