For centuries, poets and authors have tried to describe the concept - love. Recently, scientists have begun to do this. But no dictionary can find the exact definition of this beautiful feeling. Although many of us realize the meaning of the word on an intuitive level. And for many, love is the main goal in life.
What is love
- Care. The ancient Greeks had many names for various forms of love: virtue, attachment to family, desire, and general attachment. But all of these forms of love have a common trait: care.
- Sympathy. Appeal and chemistry create a bond that allows people to bond. Without this romantic component of the relationship - nothing more than a lust or a simple hobby.
- Respect. Mutual respect is a very important component of true love. You will know that you have found your soul mate when you can honestly say: "I have seen your good and bad qualities, but I still love you." While your partner feels the same.
- A responsibility. Whether it is parental or marital love, we are responsible for each other. The knowledge that your partner cares about you and covers your back, in case of danger, always pleasantly warms the soul. But do not impose on your loved ones what you think would be better for them. Care and responsibility must be shown gently and carefully, without compromising the freedom of another person.
- Proximity. This is a crucial component of all relationships, regardless of their nature. For intimacy you need to know the other person very well and create an emotional connection with him. Over time, this connection is strengthened and even developed, so that two people merge into one.
Love is not:
- Manipulation. "If you love me, you must ... Sometimes people manipulate each other and put pressure on feelings. But for love this is unacceptable.
- Compromise. Loving people often make compromises, and this is completely natural and normal. But if your partner asks you to change something in yourself, then this is not true love. A loving person will not change your character, but will accept as you are with all the advantages and disadvantages.
- Passion. Sometimes between people, desire flashes and insane desire. It occurs on a physiological level and is not related to love.
- Love. Many people confuse love with love. This is a very strong feeling in which a person narrows the mind. A man in love always idealizes the object of his love and, as a rule, it ends in disappointment. Love can subside, pass completely or grow into true love.
Opinion about the love of experts from different areas.
Physicist: "Love is chemistry"
Biologically, love - This is a powerful neurological condition, like hunger or thirst, only more permanent. We say that love is blind, in the sense that we have no control over this feeling. While passion is a temporary strong sexual desire associated with an increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and estrogen. When in love, the brain can release a whole range of chemicals: pheromones, dopamine, adrenaline, serotonin, oxytocin and vasopressin. However, from an evolutionary point of view, love can be viewed as a survival tool - a mechanism that we unknowingly use to promote long-term relationships, mutual defense and parental support for children.
• Jim Al-Khalili is a theoretical physicist and PhD.
Psychotherapist: "Love has many faces"
Unlike us, the ancients did not mix all the emotions that we call "love." They divided love into several types.
Filia - This is a deep, but usually non-sexual intimacy between friends and family members. She is called love-friendship. For example, it may be between soldiers who fought shoulder to shoulder in battle. Ludus describes a more playful affection, which is based on sexual desire. May manifest in flirting. Storge - tender, family love, which develops over a long period of time and includes goodwill, commitment, compromise, mutual respect and understanding. Agape - it is sacrificial, disinterested and unconditional love. Pragma - this is love that is controlled by consciousness. It may be based on mercenary motives or affection. Philautia - this is the love of self. But do not treat it as selfish.
Even Aristotle said that in order to take care of others, you should be able to take care of yourself. This simple but ingenious thought will be confirmed by any psychotherapist. Eros is spontaneous love. From such love lose their heads, but it lasts, as a rule, not for long. Either it subsides, or it will grow into another kind of love (filia, storgue, pragma).
Love is all of the above. But one should not expect to experience all these species with only one person.
• Philip Perry - psychotherapist
Philosopher: "Love is a passionate commitment"
The answer always remains partially elusive, because everyone's love is different. Love for parents, partners, children, country, neighbor, God. There are different variants of love. It can be blind, one-sided, tragic, stable, impermanent, unconditional, disinterested and so on. At its best, however, all love is a commitment that we cherish and develop, even though it usually comes to our lives unexpectedly. That is why love is more than just a strong feeling. Without commitment, this is a simple craze. Without passion, it is devotion. If we do not cherish and protect this feeling, we will be too self-confident, it may wither and die.
• Julian Baggini - philosopher and writer
The writer of the romantic novels: "Love administers all the great stories"
What is love depends on where you are in relation to her. If a person loves and loves in return, exists in love, then he feels happy and peaceful. Deprived of this, he may feel obsessive ideas and all-consuming, physical pain. Love is the starting point for all the great stories: not only romantic love, but also love for parents, children, family, country.
• Joy Moyes - Twice Winner of the Romantic Novel of the Year Award
Nun: "Love is free, but it still binds us"
Love is easier to experience than to define. As a theological virtue, through which we love God above all and our neighbors as ourselves, it seems distant until we come across its embodiments: acts of kindness, generosity, and self-sacrifice. Love is a feeling that should not harm anyone, although it can be very expensive. The paradox of love is that it is completely free, but it binds us strongly. It can not be bought or sold, it can not be opposed to anything. Love is the greatest blessing of life.
• Catherine Wuborn - Benedictine Nun
What does love mean to you?
