The question of how not to lose oneself has been emerging lately more and more often. It would seem that this question becomes relevant only now, in the modern world, but this is not quite so. For many centuries, if not millennia, people, when they have free time from work, begin to ask this question.
After all, if a person works in physical work, trying to feed himself, his family, to somehow arrange a comfortable life, then he is not up to deep life issues, which is why before such questions interested only rich people with plenty of free time.
What is "not losing yourself"?
So what does a person mean when he thinks about the question of how not to lose oneself. The fact is that this is the so-called question snag, there is always another question behind it, which a person is often afraid to voice even to himself. After all, if a person realizes his place in the world, his mission, values, he understands what he is doing and why, he does not care about the question of losing himself.
But if a person lives without an understanding of the meaning of his life, without believing in himself, he is not sure that his actions are correct, and his life is going in that direction, in which it is necessary - then he begins to think that perhaps he is somewhere then lost yourself.
Therefore, the question of how not to lose yourself can be given an unequivocal answer, for this you need to be deeply aware of yourself, your role in this world and where life generally moves. And to facilitate, we will divide this process into three stages, which any person is able to do.
Stage 1. Remembering yourself.
Do we remember ourselves in childhood, what we wanted to achieve, what to do. What we liked or scared, what we most wanted to avoid. You can remember your life for a very long time, but how to structure your memories so that later you can have an opportunity to work with them somehow. It turns out that our desires are the totality of everything that makes up life at any particular moment. Therefore, if we want to describe ourselves at some period of life, the easiest way to do this is through our desires, those that were at that moment.
In psychology, this process is called defragmentation.when we write out all our desires, dreams that we can only remember. The easiest way to do this is consistently going either from childhood to the current age, or vice versa, it does not matter. The process itself may take many hours and the list may consist of hundreds of desires. At first, the process can go hard, having written 30-50 points, it may be thought that this is all and a strong desire to finish, at such a moment it is best to take a break and then proceed again.
I would also like to note that we do not have the task to analyze our desires and dreams, and we just need to write, even if now this desire may seem strange and unnecessary, and children's dreams of an astronaut or singing are stupid, they still need to be recorded. The process itself already gives a very strong effect, gives liberation and “cleans” the brains. But for us this is only the first stage.
Stage 2. We define who we want to become and what we want in life.
After we remember who we were, you can begin to formulate who we want to be and how we want to see our life in the future. In order not to lose ourselves, we must very clearly understand who we should become. There should be a standard, comparing ourselves with which we will be able to adjust our life path. This will help us a list of the first stage.
Cross out from it all those desires and dreams that you have already achieved or fulfilled, then cross out all that is no longer relevant to you and is not needed, what you once wanted, but now you want another. The rest will be the base, the foundation for creating an image of yourself in the future.
Based on your past dreams, try to describe the person you would like to become in the future. What does this person do, where does he live, what surrounds him, what has he already achieved and what does he want to achieve in the future. Look at many years ahead, at least 10, but you can and at 20 and 30 years.
If it’s hard to imagine yourself, think about what person you know that you want to be like and describe his life as your future. This approach is even better, because besides just describing life, you can spy on the schedule of life, habits, skills, values and manners of your idol. This can give a strong impetus to understanding what you need to do and learn.
For convenience, it is very good to break the vision of who you want to become in certain sectors. For example, achievements in work, family relationships, health, friends and the environment, finances, spiritual development. Break into as many sectors of life as you want, but if they get more than 10, it is better to combine several sectors.
Stage 3. We build a benchmark for verification where our life is heading.
For this item, we will take as a basis the well-known technique of the Wheel of Life, but we will change it to our needs. Namely, as in the picture we draw a circle and divide it into the number of sectors that you invented at the previous stage. The scale from 1 to 10 is how much we estimate our life now in this sector, where 10 is what you want to achieve.
for exampleIn the finance sector, we determined that we want to have an income of 10,000 per month, and now an income of 2,000, respectively, now we are on a scale of 2. With non-financial sectors, of course, it’s more difficult, it’s impossible to calculate so clearly, give yourself an estimate that first comes to mind.
Composed wheel and will be the countdown, which will show where you are now, in relation to those who want to become. And it is enough for you with any doubt about whether your life is moving in the right direction, whether you have lost yourself, to make the same wheel at that moment and see the changes with the base one that you made now.
You will not just get an unequivocal answer, you will see for yourself in which sectors of life you have success, and in which, perhaps you are moving away from your main goals. By doing this exercise even once a year, you can clearly imagine the vector of your development, what you need to pay attention to or what needs to be changed right now. Do you think that the 10 minutes that this exercise will take you once a year are worth being calm about the question? Do I not lose myself and is my life going in the right direction? I’m sure it’s worth it.
