In our time, more and more people are living day after day without emotions, hopes and joy. They find it difficult to wake up in the morning, to perform the most simple tasks. There is not the slightest enthusiasm and pleasure, although no one has died, there is work and relationships. How not to be indifferent observer of his own life? How to find the answer to the question: "Why do I need all this"How do you want to want? Let's talk about the causes of apathy and ways to cope with it without antidepressants.
I look fine, but is it worth living?
It looks like a person is healthy and able-bodied. Unless it may look a little sleepless, but he is not alone. Therefore, apathy does not cause sympathy, but a desire to cheer, stir up, cheer. But shaking "outside" doesn’t help much: as soon as the fun goes away, apathy returns.
The main word in the description of apathy - "indifference". A transparent film of indifference gradually draws on life: it seems you see it, but you don’t participate. But it does not worry too much. The most difficult thing is when even negative emotions disappear. Is the private life falling apart? Does not matter. No money? Well, it is not necessary. A person even wants to experience pain in order to feel alive, but he cannot. There is not even a longing or disgust, and only one desire is manifested: to lie on the sofa around the clock and click the remote control from the TV.
Apathy is often confused with laziness, they compare their state with "squeezed lemon" or wait for a "wonderful kick" that can restore vigor. But miracles do not happen. Without the help of bright emotions, apathy will not resolve. But it can lead to clinical depression. In order not to bring yourself to drugs and a psychiatrist, it is worth starting a “debriefing” to find out the sources of apathy.
The main cause of apathy is blocking of emotions.
Blocked emotions are like foods in the fridge. If they are not “eaten” (not survived), they get rotten themselves and poison everything around them. This is not a banal feeling of hopelessness. This is a very real beginning of the disease from the fact that a person decided to pretend that he is doing well.
Reasons for the "conservation" of emotions:
- Reason 1. The subconscious does not see the goal in life, the body begins to save energy and blocks emotions. This transition from "live" to "inanimate" is sometimes very long and almost imperceptible. This years-long ongoing background of "emotionlessness" has been draining energy. The result is a breakdown and apathy.
- Reason 2. The inability to recognize emotions comes to us from childhood, when instead of the question "how do you feel," parents either suggest "to behave well" (not express anger) or hang labels like "naughty boy" or "naughty girl". Parents leave, and with them the definition of their "I". Therefore, so often, adults and adequate people say “I don’t know how to live, because I don’t feel anything”.
- Reason 3. Previous experiences were so toxic that a person, consciously or unconsciously, is simply afraid to relive them. The only way to cope with pain is to strangle emotions and feelings.
- Reason 4. Unconscious contrived fears can poison life much more than we can imagine. For example, a friend or relative died during childbirth. The heard story struck the girl so much that a chain formed in her head: love-marriage-childbirth-death. So the girl begins to block any emotions associated with relationships or happiness, just not to die.
To determine the causes of apathy, you will need to ask yourself a lot of questions, collect all the answers for yourself. If you are ready to continue to listen to yourself, it is worth trying out several ways to “stir up” your feelings.
3 easy ways to deal with apathy
Method 1. Learn empathy or empathy.
At the heart of sympathy lies the ability of a person to sympathize and empathize. No feelings? You can go from the opposite - start to empathize. Then emotions will slowly come to life. Then one begins to cling to another: the more we experience, the sharper our own emotions begin to manifest. So gradually will show sensitivity, the ability to integrate into the company, sincere interest.
How to learn empathy?
- Learn to listen and hear.
- Watch people around.
- On a trip or in a waiting room, talk to a stranger.
- Try to put yourself in the shoes of another person.
When learning to empathize, it is important not to go to the other extreme — not to let other people's experiences overwhelm you. But having worked through your skills of emotional openness, you will be able to acquire a useful quality — confidently making new relationships. New emotions will come with relationships.
Method 2. Find out the history of a kind or pedigree
Today, many people are lost when they hear the standard question about the brightest memories. It does not seem to exist. They say: "I had everything, like everyone else. I have nothing to remember." But the man did not appear out of nowhere. He had and still has relatives, ancestors, sources.
On the one hand, you are not alone in your condition, on the other hand, your story is unique. In order to “distract” yourself from apathy, you can immerse yourself in compiling the tree of the family, learn more about the fate of all family members, ask about places of life and burial. Then go to those cities or villages where your ancestors lived, try to feel this atmosphere. Perhaps this will wake up new sensations and emotions.
What gives people information about the pedigree? The feeling that their fate is voluminous and woven from the events, sorrows and joys of their ancestors. And also - the understanding that any situation can be experienced.
Method 3. Ground, feel in the present
If you feel that you want to wolf up the big moon, try to carve out 30 minutes each day and devote time to pleasant experiences. What is it for? To be grounded, recount your life in small fragments and start dreaming again.
For example, ask yourself: "If I had a model figure, what would I be wearing now?" or "If I made a film about myself, what kind of hero would I be, what kind of continuation of the film would I like to see?"In each case, you need to concentrate on emotions, and speak them as if dreams would become a reality. After that, you should ask yourself:"What are the 3 little things I can do today to live these emotions?", "What can I do right now? " Answers need to be recorded and constantly remind yourself of them.
If on the first day you manage to evoke at least one positive emotion, this is already a victory over a gray lady named Apathy. Pleasant feelings, like beads, are strung on daily life and gradually lead to changes.
Why all this? A few tips on how not to bring yourself to apathy
Apathy is not a state of one day. In order not to bring yourself to a state where everything is bad and you do not know whether it is worth living, it is important to constantly monitor your emotional state:
- Constantly monitor your condition. If you feel that morning coffee is not so tasty, and the question crept into my head: "why live?", You need to urgently buy tickets for a concert or have a party.
- Lure mood with physical culture. Endorphins appear not only after a delicious cake or after sex. They arise after a walk, dance or one hour of work in the gym. By the way, on dancing or in the gym there are dating that ends with sex. So - we dance and run.
- Do not wait until the bad mood resolves by itself. If apathy is not the result of a loss or recently experienced negative emotions, this state in itself can only worsen. In order not to allow yourself to slip into a state of complete indifference, a move can go all: help from friends, vacation, training, a creative date, a rock concert.
It is difficult to get rid of apathy when you constantly feel tired. It is difficult to maintain an emotional state when you are not able to distinguish between emotions. It is difficult to find the answer to the question: "why all this", if you constantly feel lonely. But apathy is quite capable of leading to depression. In order not to give her a chance - you need not to allow emotions to spoil: to revise, update to replenish stocks of positive.
